It was fine but I like when women have more agency and don't just like love some dude just because

Btw not looking for "nooo you don't suck!" It's how I feel so it's real to me. If you want to though feel free to encourage me to do things or also sit with me in depression and disappointment and we can try to feel better together.

I really hope I will get off my ass in the coming years 😭 I really need something I can actually feel content about

But anyway, having something for myself that isn't contingent on someone else's approval, that won't go away if I do something small wrong, that I don't have to compromise or make worse just because of other people involved... That would be nice. I really need that.

Art is the free or low cost thing, and also the familiar thing. I'm hoping I can start up again if it's something just for me and not something I have to be good at. It's really embarrassing to be so bad despite having paid for an education. I regret so much of my life, it's too hard to think about.

But I think the general dissatisfaction I have in life and the way I'm disappointed in the way things have turned out is making me want to find something for myself again. Even art; even if I suck at it. I see plenty of other people who suck at art and writing and life and still do it unabashedly.

The upside is that that disappointment and general frustration is pushing me closer and closer to art again. What stopped me before was stress and the shame I have for sucking at art despite having paid for an art education. It's super embarrassing and I'm ashamed.

Anyway, the third movie is not great. They killed the only other character they made you somewhat care about halfway through with no preamble. Also, all men. That said, Charles S. Dutton was a very compelling actor who made his character interesting by his skill

I know they talked about blowing up the planet at the end of Aliens, but I didn't think they actually did it...?
... Okay upon checking wikipedia they did indeed blow up the whole colony... My mistake. And also, impressive!

Had a menty b and if I think I'll die so time to play multiple sound sources at once

Oooooh awesome!!