Nothing beats getting high with your unemployed friends
March 5, 2025 at 5:47 AM
Nothing beats getting high with your unemployed friends
I should really block most of my followers. Y’all are not real
March 3, 2025 at 3:10 AM
I should really block most of my followers. Y’all are not real
Yes I am aware I’m being a bitch. No I cannot stop. I’m only a little sorry if I’m being honest
March 3, 2025 at 3:09 AM
Yes I am aware I’m being a bitch. No I cannot stop. I’m only a little sorry if I’m being honest
Sometimes I think about how different my life would be if I were a completely different person
February 26, 2025 at 3:51 AM
Sometimes I think about how different my life would be if I were a completely different person
Give that man a vasectomy
February 25, 2025 at 4:46 AM
Give that man a vasectomy
If I was a ghost haunting a house I would put all the plushies in silly positions
February 25, 2025 at 4:45 AM
If I was a ghost haunting a house I would put all the plushies in silly positions
How cruel that enormous fuzzy bears exist but you can’t cuddle them without getting mauled to death
February 25, 2025 at 4:43 AM
How cruel that enormous fuzzy bears exist but you can’t cuddle them without getting mauled to death
I wish I was the size of a small housecat so my friends could cradle me in their arms like a baby
February 25, 2025 at 4:42 AM
I wish I was the size of a small housecat so my friends could cradle me in their arms like a baby
Unfortunately I am a filthy misandrist. When people talk about a man-hating feminist they are referring to me specifically
February 21, 2025 at 5:25 PM
Unfortunately I am a filthy misandrist. When people talk about a man-hating feminist they are referring to me specifically
I should be allowed to kill one person per year. I will choose wisely I promise
February 19, 2025 at 2:21 PM
I should be allowed to kill one person per year. I will choose wisely I promise
The older I get the more I understand Whoopi Goldberg’s “I don’t want someone in my house” philosophy in regards to marriage
February 13, 2025 at 10:38 PM
The older I get the more I understand Whoopi Goldberg’s “I don’t want someone in my house” philosophy in regards to marriage
[accidentally nukes 3 cities] are you guys mad at me 🥺
February 13, 2025 at 9:34 PM
[accidentally nukes 3 cities] are you guys mad at me 🥺
I would love to try out being part of a hive mind. It sounds peaceful
February 12, 2025 at 3:33 AM
I would love to try out being part of a hive mind. It sounds peaceful
Every cocky gay guy needs a mean lesbian friend to humble them
February 1, 2025 at 7:15 AM
Every cocky gay guy needs a mean lesbian friend to humble them
We’re all going to have plane crash anxiety dreams again
January 30, 2025 at 9:55 PM
We’re all going to have plane crash anxiety dreams again
Sorry the world is so horrible. Do you want me to make you a latte
January 23, 2025 at 10:58 PM
Sorry the world is so horrible. Do you want me to make you a latte
Please keep me in your thoughts. Nothing is happening I just want you to think about me ♥️
January 22, 2025 at 6:54 AM
Please keep me in your thoughts. Nothing is happening I just want you to think about me ♥️
Steve Bannon telling Elon to “go back to Africa” is so ceaselessly funny to me
January 22, 2025 at 6:49 AM
Steve Bannon telling Elon to “go back to Africa” is so ceaselessly funny to me
she took my pussy in the divorce
January 14, 2025 at 3:12 AM
she took my pussy in the divorce
Well I could have told you that except I was scared and I didn’t actually know it
January 13, 2025 at 5:02 AM
Well I could have told you that except I was scared and I didn’t actually know it
it’s so difficult to do things
January 13, 2025 at 5:01 AM
it’s so difficult to do things
It is such an honor to be the “most woke” person in a group. Heavy is the head that wears the crown
January 13, 2025 at 5:00 AM
It is such an honor to be the “most woke” person in a group. Heavy is the head that wears the crown
is it just me or does living in the climate apocalypse kind of suck a little bit
January 11, 2025 at 3:16 PM
is it just me or does living in the climate apocalypse kind of suck a little bit
some things are like. okay well now that you’ve given it to me, i no longer want it
January 11, 2025 at 4:38 AM
some things are like. okay well now that you’ve given it to me, i no longer want it