I'm extremely uncomfortable about nsfw artwork of Jettella too. I made some out of obligation like I thought it would make me feel unique but instead it's something I've come to loathe.

Any nsfw of her is being purged and I'm gonna try to do better mentally so I can stop feeling like trash.

My FA has been gone for months, and I've never had an e6 account. The locked account on Twitter is about to be deleted because too many annoying people want in. And for what? You don't care about me but suddenly sending endless requests to see that is what you care about? Get real.

Ugh spazing in the hospital bed crying like a bitch ass weakling last month really made me mad.

I promised my mother I would be stronger for her, for myself and my body continues to attack itself.

Still can't believe I'm gonna be 27 tho I would have never believed I'd live this long

My ideas are quite literally the only thing keeping me going.

really hoping I can shake this feeling off and delete this later but I really feel like I have nowhere to vent at times.

I may have fooled many people into thinking I am but the truth is if I'm not constantly talking, doing, creating and helping others I will quite literally end my life.

And that scares me.

So I keep myself busy

Make a new friend, give them a reason to live help them to the point they don't need me

I can mask it with jokes and games but eventually the mask slips a little, my voice drops a bit or the look in my face concerns someone enough to ask if I'm ok.

You laugh it off and remember life is not for being comfortable.

It's a show and you're always performing.

I am not a hoppy person.

I'm really not supposed to be here...

I was supposed to die as a baby, then again when I was 8 and several more times

I've grown stronger over the years but face such a debilitating illness that I'm in pain every day and I cry alone fighting my own body to not give up mentally and physically.