The question, for me anyway, is: Where do we go from here?

The “why” and “how” questions are important. Why did so many people vote against their own self interest? How could they ignore the obvious signs of unfitness? In about 150 years historians can give a better answer. So, important as these questions are, I’m trying not to get hung up on them.

I can’t do much. But I can speak. And we all need to speak right now. Too many of us are afraid, alone, isolated. Our rage and fear haunts us, darkening our days and waking us in the small hours. Questions gnaw at us, killing sleep.

Talking and texting to friends has helped. Writing some of my feelings out will help. Eventually I’ll pluck up the courage to start listening to the people I trusted before and figuring out where to go from here. I’m old, relatively speaking. I only hope I can outlive the Trump era.

I know we have to fight. I’m just not ready yet. I’m demoralized, disillusioned, lying on the ground battered and bruised. What hurts most is knowing that so many Americans are stupid and cruel. They could actually listen to this person and vote for him! It almost beggars belief.

Part of the problem is people like me, well-meaning but lazy. I thought if enough of us did the minimum - voting - democracy would just roll along and I could live my life, not thinking too much about politics. Now I see a fight ahead, and it makes me tired.

How bad will it be? We don’t know yet. Maybe not so bad. Trump is stupid. But he attracts bad people, some of who unfortunately are not quite as idiotic. How competent, how thorough will they be?