King of Witchful Thinking
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formaldehydefce.bsky.social
King of Witchful Thinking
@formaldehydefce.bsky.social
2.7K followers 900 following 2.7K posts
Black Bisexual Horror/Weird Fiction writer | Voodoonauts Fellow 2024 | Alpha Workshop Instructor | Editor @SalonSinister.com | Horror Reviewer | *NO AI* | Cryptid | Insomniac | Mirror ghost | he/him 💀 FREE PALESTINE
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formaldehydefce.bsky.social
A boy in a crimson, yellow, and baby blue sweater giving bombastic side eye and a look of disgust.
November 11, 2025 at 6:41 PM
formaldehydefce.bsky.social
The fact that this was up for *any* amount of time on the actual Walmart website is fucking insane
A picture of a t-shirt for sale on Walmart.com. It has a white hand doing a Nazi salute hovering above a Black Power fist with the words "paper beats rock"
November 9, 2025 at 5:32 PM
formaldehydefce.bsky.social
New job means I get vaccinated for the first time in 2 years! Finally recharging my queer 5G batteries 🥵😘
November 6, 2025 at 3:57 AM
formaldehydefce.bsky.social
For his in-depth, expert analysis of the New York City mayoral race, we now go live to Dick Cheney
A man without skin has written "I am in hell help me" on a white wall using his own blood
November 5, 2025 at 3:38 AM
formaldehydefce.bsky.social
Archie from Riverdale saying "that means you haven't know the triumphs and defeats, the word his and lows of getting blasted in the chest with a whole submarine sandwich"
November 4, 2025 at 5:26 PM
formaldehydefce.bsky.social
Jonathan Frakes standing next to a tombstone that says "RIP BOZO"
November 4, 2025 at 1:56 PM
formaldehydefce.bsky.social
A tweet with Neytiri from avatar saying "I hear of big news on your world"
November 4, 2025 at 1:55 PM
formaldehydefce.bsky.social
The bride from "Ready or Not" covered in blood and laughing
November 4, 2025 at 1:21 PM
formaldehydefce.bsky.social
A close up of Jenna Marbles with her eyebrows shaved off. In their place are written the words "hell yeah"
October 30, 2025 at 4:04 AM
formaldehydefce.bsky.social
A black man smoking a cigarette has his hand up to his face and his eyes are closed. He's clearly exhausted/frustrated
October 28, 2025 at 12:00 PM
formaldehydefce.bsky.social
They think we're so fucking stupid
October 19, 2025 at 12:29 AM
formaldehydefce.bsky.social
Yeah these people are exactly who you think they are
October 16, 2025 at 4:05 PM
formaldehydefce.bsky.social
Day 14: Phenomenal
If my mother could hear the phone ringing, she didn’t pay it any mind. She was too busy staring up at the miraculous display. Cresting waves of amethyst and apple stole our gaze as the unexpected aurora painted the skies of our southern town. It was like nothing we’d ever seen. I asked how long it would last, but she didn’t have the answer. She told me to enjoy it. My mother wasn’t a scientist, she just knew how to appreciate beauty. She knew this was special. But the lights got too bright… Too many colors. The phone kept ringing.
October 15, 2025 at 10:14 PM
formaldehydefce.bsky.social
Five bottles that have bright, inviting colors in them against a white background. They say things like "NXT", "POWERTONE", "TRAUMACARE", and "FASTEX". They're bottles of embalming fluid and they honestly look delicious. You look like something you'd buy at a gas station in the 90s. The text reads, "inspired by true thoughts I have. Embalming fluid looks delicious"
October 14, 2025 at 7:00 AM
formaldehydefce.bsky.social
Day 13: Embalm
“They say it’s ‘just for the bodies’, but I have a body, so that means it’s for me! I’m kidding, but I’m also kind of not kidding. I won’t drink them. I might. I won’t! Jeez… But I want to. A little. Part of me wants to drink them, but not enough of a part for you to be this worked up. I mean, you’re getting upset with ME, but I didn’t make embalming fluid look like that!” “...Okayyyy. Well, thank you for coming in, and you should hear from us about the position in the next week or so.”
October 14, 2025 at 6:50 AM
formaldehydefce.bsky.social
Day 12: Corduroy
A teddy bear’s job is to protect the child. No one teaches us this, we just know it when those final stitches bind our fabric. We must protect the child. But I keep failing. The man hands me to the child. He can’t hear my vow, but maybe that’s best. When I fail him, he won’t be shocked. He’ll just be scared like the rest, and then quiet. I think about all the ways I could stop the bad man, but whatever drives him is more powerful than me. He silences the boy. I vow to save the next one.
October 14, 2025 at 6:47 AM
formaldehydefce.bsky.social
Day 11: Indulge
One piece of cake and everyone is losing their minds. Like, actual screaming. I look at them all and take another huge bite while flipping them the bird. This is my party, so why shouldn’t I have any of the cake? How is that fair? People are crying. Can you fucking believe it? Over a cake! My husband fainted! So dramatic! God forbid I get a taste of icing and fondant before everyone eats it all! All I want is one piece. Then I’ll get back in the box and you can put me in the ground. Quit your bitching.
October 14, 2025 at 6:45 AM
formaldehydefce.bsky.social
Day 10: Frills
When I woke up, my throat burned like hell. Whatever settled in my lungs was almost impossible to cough out. My apartment was pitch black, despite the hour and ample windows. I hadn’t paid for transparency this month. Ironic. Opting for the “no frills” plan allowed all the nasty air particulates in, but none of the light. Fortunately, there were the ads. Pop-up after pop-up materialized on every surface. Flashing letters and AI dancers with unholy anatomy lit my way to my front door. I just needed to hold on a few more weeks until I could afford premium again.
October 14, 2025 at 6:43 AM
formaldehydefce.bsky.social
Bea Arthur covered in tan, paisley blankets up to her chin. She's yelling "How come you're alive?"
October 14, 2025 at 5:02 AM
formaldehydefce.bsky.social
Day 9: Chitinous
They didn’t want to pay for armor. It was as simple as that. They had too many people investing in "The Chitin Project" to admit they’d been wrong. Too many pundits and billionaires making too many promises on live TV for us to dodge the injection. The pain tore at us all. It wasn’t just about making our skin hard, it was a rearranging. It meant bones dissolving and being replaced with natural hydraulics. It meant losing our tongues in the name of our country. Those resisting American imperialism wept at the sight of us. We had that in common.
October 12, 2025 at 7:44 PM
formaldehydefce.bsky.social
Day 8: Trifle
I’m just one piece. Placed in the tomb because that’s what you do. Carved from a tree fallen thousands of years ago, I’m a token meant for the dead; never intended to leave this place. But light found its way in again. Hungry hands pulled me from my restful post and took me away. I felt the body call to me. I wished so badly to scream back, but the knife that forged me never carved a mouth. My loss became a cudgel. The hands that took me went feverish and then cold. I will kill until I’m returned.
October 9, 2025 at 6:14 AM
formaldehydefce.bsky.social
"Haunted? Me?"
Annabelle the fucked up looking for with insanely wide eyes, bad bangs, red ribbons at the end of her pigtails, a white dress, and a red ribbon around her middle. She's sitting in your grandma's chair.
October 9, 2025 at 2:59 AM
formaldehydefce.bsky.social
Just started "The Naked Gun" and I swear anytime Kevin Durand appears in anything it's like seeing an old friend again.
Actor Kevin Durand opening a safety deposit box in a bank. He's wearing a dark suit with a turtleneck and has white blond hair.
October 8, 2025 at 7:57 PM
formaldehydefce.bsky.social
Can we finally talk about how much glitter was under Carol Anne's bed?
An overhead shot of the children's room in poltergeist. Things are being sucked into an off-screen closet, and from under the girl's bed, a few toys have come out along with an assload of glitter A low shot of the children's room in poltergeist. Things are being sucked into an off-screen closet. On the floor there's a lot of glitter while a blue chair falls into frame
October 8, 2025 at 7:23 AM
formaldehydefce.bsky.social
Day 7: Poster
It was my face alright. Same curly hair, same gap in the two front teeth, same jawline. I studied the piece of paper, committing the details to memory. I’d found it on a telephone pole. Someone had paid extra at the copy shop because the picture was in color, and the all-caps “MISSING” at the top of the page was rendered in a stark red. I considered calling the listed number, but what would I say? What could I say? I crumpled the poster and threw it on the pile. They won’t find him. Not if I can help it.
October 8, 2025 at 6:59 AM