you're missing such good stuff rn there's a guy who wrote and posted a giant doc about how he's looking for a wife who's an "outlier-level genius" to bear and "warmly nurture" his kids and at no point did it disclose that he wants to continue sleeping around after marrying this unicorn woman

your absence from twitter has created a psychic wound whose ramifications continue to echo through the discourse

if there were locked/private accounts here i'd switch fully but the circumstances of my life make it such that i cannot Keep It Real on a publicly-accessible account

reposting mediocre old tweets to make up for my absence

I think I was in flo’s living room when I discovered this and she had to talk me down

yeah this is a good summary I was pretty traumatized

Lmao no weapon formed against me shall prosper etc

it’s fine to have a hideous mustache but you can’t also be completely humourless

I’m just joking it’s obviously not a big deal and people are welcome to repost

not one but two men with hideous mustaches attempted dunks on this lmao

it’s fine if you follow me go get your engagement baby I support you

people qting this with the same joke i’m making and getting ten times the likes… the posting ecosystem on here is CORRUPT!!!

idk if it’s real as a global phenomenon but it is real insofar as I did overhear this in real life