my past two performances i've been so zoned out to avoid my feelings and it's stopped me from making connections with people who took time out of their day to see my show

realizing that dissociating into a contrived "personality" for performances is not an artistic skill but a maladaption born from a pre-transition inability to connect myself and my body to my art

unrelated, but this was also the first time i'd seen a cop actually on the train. amtrak picking their most thumb-shaped cop for the occasion was slightly amusing, amidst the dystopian scene of union station's military occupation

i'm sure that technical issues (like the doors breaking on thursday) will be managed, and that as the seats get broken in things will feel a bit better. overall it was still an exciting day and im sure literally anything functional would be better than the current acela trainsets

the avelia liberty saga is another instance of amtrak being set up to fail by the government and industry and yet still doing its best to provide some semblance of rail transportation in this shithole country

features like the now obsolete displays above seats (intended to indicate reserved seats before acelas assigned seats across the board) and USB-A only charging (before the takeover of USB-C) would make sense for a train designed and built for the 2010s