Kai (Kh-AI)
@flyawaywithkai.bsky.social
Content destroyer, purveyor of kangaroo cocktails from outback steakhouse.
“I want to be the crack head that doesn’t interfere”
September 8, 2025 at 12:30 PM
“I want to be the crack head that doesn’t interfere”
“I don’t want my ass oils to end up on my face”
August 24, 2025 at 3:31 PM
“I don’t want my ass oils to end up on my face”
I wish target still had chia bars
July 1, 2025 at 1:54 PM
I wish target still had chia bars
“I think the bone in my ass was pressed down. It’s gotta be like a vein or um. And it made my legs fall asleep”
June 30, 2025 at 12:44 PM
“I think the bone in my ass was pressed down. It’s gotta be like a vein or um. And it made my legs fall asleep”
“Hey Siri schedule a new event labeled Costco for 5 PM”
“OK! Custard is scheduled for 5 PM”
“OK! Custard is scheduled for 5 PM”
June 14, 2025 at 10:49 AM
“Hey Siri schedule a new event labeled Costco for 5 PM”
“OK! Custard is scheduled for 5 PM”
“OK! Custard is scheduled for 5 PM”
“Reading is fundamental“
“So it’s an ass whooping”
“So it’s an ass whooping”
June 13, 2025 at 11:52 AM
“Reading is fundamental“
“So it’s an ass whooping”
“So it’s an ass whooping”
“What the hell is a lentil?”
June 12, 2025 at 2:55 AM
“What the hell is a lentil?”
I wish there was a Shazam but for scents
June 9, 2025 at 11:05 AM
I wish there was a Shazam but for scents
“McCracked off the Perc 29 wishing I wasn't in Pennsylvania”
June 6, 2025 at 11:32 AM
“McCracked off the Perc 29 wishing I wasn't in Pennsylvania”
“No you are not fine, your feet stink, sir”
June 5, 2025 at 9:38 AM
“No you are not fine, your feet stink, sir”
“I’m bipolar”
“Bitch what…”
*awkward pause*
“Bitch I knew you was crazy”
“Bitch what…”
*awkward pause*
“Bitch I knew you was crazy”
June 5, 2025 at 7:29 AM
“I’m bipolar”
“Bitch what…”
*awkward pause*
“Bitch I knew you was crazy”
“Bitch what…”
*awkward pause*
“Bitch I knew you was crazy”
Reposted by Kai (Kh-AI)
Birds have significantly better eyesight than us which is why I get nice and sexy to go birdwatching
May 23, 2025 at 12:52 PM
Birds have significantly better eyesight than us which is why I get nice and sexy to go birdwatching
“Don't follow leaders, watch your parking meters”
May 23, 2025 at 7:46 PM
“Don't follow leaders, watch your parking meters”
Excited for this coming winter! Going to dress the kitties up in gay little hoodies. 🥰
May 21, 2025 at 7:17 PM
Excited for this coming winter! Going to dress the kitties up in gay little hoodies. 🥰
Bearing the unbearable heat makes you thankful for the next gust of wind.
May 21, 2025 at 7:15 PM
Bearing the unbearable heat makes you thankful for the next gust of wind.
“Brewing coffee directly into my cupped hands and screaming.”
May 19, 2025 at 6:19 AM
“Brewing coffee directly into my cupped hands and screaming.”
I present to you a new drag queen, “Irodah Moose”.
May 3, 2025 at 9:15 AM
I present to you a new drag queen, “Irodah Moose”.
I left an open container of bbq sauce on the passenger seat, my car smells delicious?
April 24, 2025 at 11:06 AM
I left an open container of bbq sauce on the passenger seat, my car smells delicious?
Judge: “What does the defendant have to say?”
Me: “Your honor, I should not have chugged that jug.”
@yourmementomori.bsky.social
Me: “Your honor, I should not have chugged that jug.”
@yourmementomori.bsky.social
April 23, 2025 at 1:55 AM
Judge: “What does the defendant have to say?”
Me: “Your honor, I should not have chugged that jug.”
@yourmementomori.bsky.social
Me: “Your honor, I should not have chugged that jug.”
@yourmementomori.bsky.social
I became a ghetto engineer making shit out of glass
April 22, 2025 at 2:17 AM
I became a ghetto engineer making shit out of glass
A dirty martini and this
April 22, 2025 at 2:16 AM
A dirty martini and this
Imagine your nurse walks into your room (you’re the patient) and they say “sorry we have to take your door handles to charge them”
April 19, 2025 at 10:30 AM
Imagine your nurse walks into your room (you’re the patient) and they say “sorry we have to take your door handles to charge them”
Everyone meet our new team member, Willie the Woach! 🪳
Here’s some fun facts about Willie:
- he might actually be a bed bug
- he enjoys martinis, shaken, not stirred
- he enjoys bondage
- he’s vegetarian
- Enjoys long, slow walks on the bed
Here’s some fun facts about Willie:
- he might actually be a bed bug
- he enjoys martinis, shaken, not stirred
- he enjoys bondage
- he’s vegetarian
- Enjoys long, slow walks on the bed
March 15, 2025 at 4:21 AM
Everyone meet our new team member, Willie the Woach! 🪳
Here’s some fun facts about Willie:
- he might actually be a bed bug
- he enjoys martinis, shaken, not stirred
- he enjoys bondage
- he’s vegetarian
- Enjoys long, slow walks on the bed
Here’s some fun facts about Willie:
- he might actually be a bed bug
- he enjoys martinis, shaken, not stirred
- he enjoys bondage
- he’s vegetarian
- Enjoys long, slow walks on the bed
So the other day I met a homeless man on the street. He told what he's going through. I empathized (awww) and I sent him some money through Venmo. Tell me why im checking my email and the man has requested even more money from me??
March 10, 2025 at 7:53 AM
So the other day I met a homeless man on the street. He told what he's going through. I empathized (awww) and I sent him some money through Venmo. Tell me why im checking my email and the man has requested even more money from me??