chromatic aberration cool

oh and if anyone can tell me how to render, or point to a helpful resource, I'd much appreciate. cause i've mostly been doing paper sketches my entire life

I thought you two were the same person at one point, your art styles are so similar

The drawing itself is old and outdated but I wanted to post the character so... ┐('～`;)┌

And if people still care about me then I guess life is still worth living x

Maybe I should just expect that I'm "broken" A collection of problems that might never be solved. I am a genderqueer neurodivergent depressed anxiety filled traumatized hypersexual individual. I am a broken individual. And that brokenness makes me who I am.

Pain is desirable when the physical pain distracts me from my mental anguish. Hurting myself is a way to cope with all of my trauma, a sort of release of pressure that's been built over time. But I don't just self harm randomly it happens after my trauma has been brought to the surface by a catalyst

Took a break before writing more
I'm just so tired, tired of existing, especially in a world that treats me like garbage, so I treat myself like garbage, but people look down on me like I'm not enough. Like I'm worth less than other people because I treat myself like that
And Idk what to do anymore

I'm not the only one that hates me, colleagues hate me, family hate me, the government hates me. Most don't want me to exist, so I feel justified when I don't want to exist. Why should I want to exist, I'm broken beaten bruised and scared. My trauma clings to me like a cancer, driving me to death.

It's not fair that other people get to live life so carefree while I'm sitting over here a broken mess trying to put the pieces of my life back together after they were shattered by people I used to love. It's not fair that I have so many more "challenges" that I didn't get a choice to not have

I'm so fucking done living on this hate fueled planet. You just have to hate something, and me?, I hate myself! I hate my voice, my face, my hair, my everything! Why couldn't I just be normal or not exist at all. most of all I hate my identitie