The Flat Universe Society
@flatuniverse.bsky.social
Like the Flat Earth Society, but way bigger. And way less wrong. Ω = 1
Join the FU Society today!
Join the FU Society today!
The Milky Way is so alone tonight in this motel vending machine in Alabama.
I will consume you, lonely sentinel.
I will consume you, lonely sentinel.
January 21, 2025 at 5:04 AM
The Milky Way is so alone tonight in this motel vending machine in Alabama.
I will consume you, lonely sentinel.
I will consume you, lonely sentinel.
The flatness of dueling pistols will be pre-certified by our Society’s flatness experts.
January 18, 2025 at 3:49 PM
The flatness of dueling pistols will be pre-certified by our Society’s flatness experts.
I’ll go see it, and will order some popcorn.
January 16, 2025 at 3:12 PM
I’ll go see it, and will order some popcorn.
Ha ha! Do you, like your leader, also wear a weird Caesarean hair-net?
January 16, 2025 at 1:55 PM
Ha ha! Do you, like your leader, also wear a weird Caesarean hair-net?
The U.S. Congress has asked the flatness experts at our society to review a proposal for a federal flat tax rate. Here is our report, in full:
Flat spacetime bends around massive celestial objects.
Accordingly, a flat tax should bend to a higher rate around massively wealthy people.
Flat spacetime bends around massive celestial objects.
Accordingly, a flat tax should bend to a higher rate around massively wealthy people.
December 22, 2024 at 8:57 PM
The U.S. Congress has asked the flatness experts at our society to review a proposal for a federal flat tax rate. Here is our report, in full:
Flat spacetime bends around massive celestial objects.
Accordingly, a flat tax should bend to a higher rate around massively wealthy people.
Flat spacetime bends around massive celestial objects.
Accordingly, a flat tax should bend to a higher rate around massively wealthy people.
It’s hard for an astronomy themed vulgarian like me to find his community, so you can imagine my joy when I found a subculture of French folks devoted to the “vulgarisation d' astronomie”…and my heartbreak when Google Translate told me it just means “popularization of astronomy”.
December 21, 2024 at 3:48 PM
It’s hard for an astronomy themed vulgarian like me to find his community, so you can imagine my joy when I found a subculture of French folks devoted to the “vulgarisation d' astronomie”…and my heartbreak when Google Translate told me it just means “popularization of astronomy”.
Taint bullshit. Time (and its doppleganger, space) are flat af.
December 20, 2024 at 6:00 AM
Taint bullshit. Time (and its doppleganger, space) are flat af.
Flat Earthers, dust off your tinfoil hat and report for duty: The Flat Universe Society hereby enrolls/conscripts all of you into our organization! *
Welcome, misguided but brave pioneers. Gooble gobble. One of us! This is an unavoidable merger, not a hostile takeover.
*Annual membership fees apply.
Welcome, misguided but brave pioneers. Gooble gobble. One of us! This is an unavoidable merger, not a hostile takeover.
*Annual membership fees apply.
December 19, 2024 at 2:41 AM
Flat Earthers, dust off your tinfoil hat and report for duty: The Flat Universe Society hereby enrolls/conscripts all of you into our organization! *
Welcome, misguided but brave pioneers. Gooble gobble. One of us! This is an unavoidable merger, not a hostile takeover.
*Annual membership fees apply.
Welcome, misguided but brave pioneers. Gooble gobble. One of us! This is an unavoidable merger, not a hostile takeover.
*Annual membership fees apply.
Can you place a phone call by repeatedly hanging up a landline phone? Yes!
Get a dial tone, then rapidly press the plunger buttons, say, three times. Congrats! You’ve just successfully imitated a rotary phone dialing a “3”
To place a call, just tap out all the digits, leaving a pause between them.
Get a dial tone, then rapidly press the plunger buttons, say, three times. Congrats! You’ve just successfully imitated a rotary phone dialing a “3”
To place a call, just tap out all the digits, leaving a pause between them.
December 17, 2024 at 5:56 PM
Can you place a phone call by repeatedly hanging up a landline phone? Yes!
Get a dial tone, then rapidly press the plunger buttons, say, three times. Congrats! You’ve just successfully imitated a rotary phone dialing a “3”
To place a call, just tap out all the digits, leaving a pause between them.
Get a dial tone, then rapidly press the plunger buttons, say, three times. Congrats! You’ve just successfully imitated a rotary phone dialing a “3”
To place a call, just tap out all the digits, leaving a pause between them.
Good astrologers and soothsayers take into their calculations the effect of this Uranus butt ray. And also its opposite, the hope-giving anti-butt ray, the energy emanating from Uranus’ north pole, which intersects our Sun around 2028 (coincidentally at the moment the Trump presidency ends).(2/3)
December 11, 2024 at 5:23 PM
Good astrologers and soothsayers take into their calculations the effect of this Uranus butt ray. And also its opposite, the hope-giving anti-butt ray, the energy emanating from Uranus’ north pole, which intersects our Sun around 2028 (coincidentally at the moment the Trump presidency ends).(2/3)
Uranus spins on its side. This means that one of Uranus' poles is often pointed towards the Sun. Let’s just say the truth out loud: Unlike every other decent planet, Uranus is literally bent over, pointing its butt at the sun. A line drawn from its south pole stabs our sun once every 84 years. (1/3)
December 11, 2024 at 5:21 PM
Uranus spins on its side. This means that one of Uranus' poles is often pointed towards the Sun. Let’s just say the truth out loud: Unlike every other decent planet, Uranus is literally bent over, pointing its butt at the sun. A line drawn from its south pole stabs our sun once every 84 years. (1/3)
BREAKING: New ring of Hell being excavated to accommodate curved-universe heretics.
December 9, 2024 at 7:40 PM
BREAKING: New ring of Hell being excavated to accommodate curved-universe heretics.
Steven Hawking noted that of the infinite number of universes only those with exactly the correct density for forming galaxies would give rise to sentient observers such as humans: therefore the fact that we observe Ω to be so close to 1 (ie, flat) would be "simply a reflection of our own existence”
December 8, 2024 at 3:25 PM
Steven Hawking noted that of the infinite number of universes only those with exactly the correct density for forming galaxies would give rise to sentient observers such as humans: therefore the fact that we observe Ω to be so close to 1 (ie, flat) would be "simply a reflection of our own existence”
December 5, 2024 at 3:25 PM
You do some shoplifting, you go to jail for a million seconds (12 days).
You commit a brutal murder, you go to prison for a billion seconds (31.7 years).
What crime do I have to commit to get sent to prison for a trillion seconds (31,710 years)?
You commit a brutal murder, you go to prison for a billion seconds (31.7 years).
What crime do I have to commit to get sent to prison for a trillion seconds (31,710 years)?
December 5, 2024 at 4:00 AM
You do some shoplifting, you go to jail for a million seconds (12 days).
You commit a brutal murder, you go to prison for a billion seconds (31.7 years).
What crime do I have to commit to get sent to prison for a trillion seconds (31,710 years)?
You commit a brutal murder, you go to prison for a billion seconds (31.7 years).
What crime do I have to commit to get sent to prison for a trillion seconds (31,710 years)?
It was so cool when Einstein wowed everybody with his e=mc2 thing, and then we all suddenly understood spacetime, despite it making no fookin’ gut-sense to any of us (still).
December 5, 2024 at 2:18 AM
It was so cool when Einstein wowed everybody with his e=mc2 thing, and then we all suddenly understood spacetime, despite it making no fookin’ gut-sense to any of us (still).
A tiny bit more density, and the Universe would have a positive curve, like a sphere, and we’d die in a Big Crunch. Slightly less density and it’s a negative curve, a saddle, we’d die in a Big Freeze.
It is only when conditions are just perfect that we get flatness, and a universe that never dies.
It is only when conditions are just perfect that we get flatness, and a universe that never dies.
December 4, 2024 at 2:51 AM
A tiny bit more density, and the Universe would have a positive curve, like a sphere, and we’d die in a Big Crunch. Slightly less density and it’s a negative curve, a saddle, we’d die in a Big Freeze.
It is only when conditions are just perfect that we get flatness, and a universe that never dies.
It is only when conditions are just perfect that we get flatness, and a universe that never dies.
Flatness is no laughing matter:
“Whether the universe is “flat″ could determine its ultimate fate; whether it will expand forever, or ultimately collapse back into itself”
en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Flatnes...
“Whether the universe is “flat″ could determine its ultimate fate; whether it will expand forever, or ultimately collapse back into itself”
en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Flatnes...
December 3, 2024 at 6:56 AM
Flatness is no laughing matter:
“Whether the universe is “flat″ could determine its ultimate fate; whether it will expand forever, or ultimately collapse back into itself”
en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Flatnes...
“Whether the universe is “flat″ could determine its ultimate fate; whether it will expand forever, or ultimately collapse back into itself”
en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Flatnes...
Dear everyone else,
“Math” is an uncountable noun.
Sincerely,
North America
“Math” is an uncountable noun.
Sincerely,
North America
November 28, 2024 at 3:41 PM
Dear everyone else,
“Math” is an uncountable noun.
Sincerely,
North America
“Math” is an uncountable noun.
Sincerely,
North America
I blind discarded bears I find at the Goodwill, then I sew their eyeholes back up. It’s not not art.
November 28, 2024 at 1:37 PM
I blind discarded bears I find at the Goodwill, then I sew their eyeholes back up. It’s not not art.
Some random pancake on the internet talking about a flat-as-a-pancake Universe is obviously a parody account, right? Well, let’s make a bet: if you google “shape of the Universe” and find I’m right, you’ll follow and repost me. If you find I’m wrong, I’ll eat my underwear on a live video broadcast
November 28, 2024 at 10:25 AM
Some random pancake on the internet talking about a flat-as-a-pancake Universe is obviously a parody account, right? Well, let’s make a bet: if you google “shape of the Universe” and find I’m right, you’ll follow and repost me. If you find I’m wrong, I’ll eat my underwear on a live video broadcast
The Universe is flat AF, but how thick is it? Is it more like an exquisite New York style thin crust, or more like the grotesque abomination they call pizza in Chicago?
November 26, 2024 at 10:53 AM
The Universe is flat AF, but how thick is it? Is it more like an exquisite New York style thin crust, or more like the grotesque abomination they call pizza in Chicago?
Science quiz question!
The earth is tilted at 23.5° relative to the plane of our solar system.
Our solar system is tilted 60° relative to the plane of our galaxy.
What is the tilt of our galaxy relative to the plane of the flat Universe?
Post your answer in the comments!
The earth is tilted at 23.5° relative to the plane of our solar system.
Our solar system is tilted 60° relative to the plane of our galaxy.
What is the tilt of our galaxy relative to the plane of the flat Universe?
Post your answer in the comments!
November 24, 2024 at 4:35 PM
Science quiz question!
The earth is tilted at 23.5° relative to the plane of our solar system.
Our solar system is tilted 60° relative to the plane of our galaxy.
What is the tilt of our galaxy relative to the plane of the flat Universe?
Post your answer in the comments!
The earth is tilted at 23.5° relative to the plane of our solar system.
Our solar system is tilted 60° relative to the plane of our galaxy.
What is the tilt of our galaxy relative to the plane of the flat Universe?
Post your answer in the comments!
The FU Society has zero followers so far. Too bad this platform won’t step up and employ some algorithms to ram our posts down everyone’s feed hole.
November 24, 2024 at 1:55 PM
The FU Society has zero followers so far. Too bad this platform won’t step up and employ some algorithms to ram our posts down everyone’s feed hole.