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flatmatt.com
flatmatt
@flatmatt.com
53 followers 35 following 110 posts
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flatmatt.com
Next time someone accuses your followers of being sycophants, you can just point them to your post here and be like "Damn, you got me." Bonus gray cat photo.
A donation receipt to Gleaners Food Bank of Southeastern Michigan. It is dated October 26, 2025 in the amount of $80 US and was apparently given by someone named Matthew (though the full name and address have been scribbled out). Gray cat lying on a bed with her eyes closed, her back half hidden under the covers. Her face is actually slightly out of focus due to the camera focusing on her widdle paws extended forward. The sheets are pale blue, while both the top blanket and the wall behind are tan colored. There's also a silver and black mouse (the clicky kind, not the squeaky kind) behind her head.
October 26, 2025 at 9:59 PM
flatmatt.com
Happy 5th annual #BidoofDay!
Bidoof Day logo featuring Bidoof's beautiful face and the text "Bidoof Day." The background is split between a green patterned top half featuring Bidoof head silhouettes and Poké Balls and a brown wood grain bottom half.
July 1, 2025 at 4:39 PM
flatmatt.com
Elves are Romulans, silly.
Elnor, an elflike Romulans from Star Trek: Picard, stands at the ready with his sword in front of a crowd, with a somewhat worn building behind. Elnor is wearing a blue top with lots of leather-looking bands and belts. He has long black hair, pointed ears, and angled eyebrows.
January 15, 2025 at 3:29 PM
flatmatt.com
I did it. #ivoted Cow by @mojonbo.bsky.social via strimmer @usedpizza.bsky.social.
A close-up photo of a cow illustration on a mint green t-shirt. The smiling cow wears a cowbell and was digitally painted, intentionally mimicking a child's drawing. Stuck to the cow on its front left leg is one of Michigan's 2024 "I voted" stickers (actually drawn by a child), specifically the one depicting a howling werewolf ripping off their shirt while standing in front a of United States flag.
October 31, 2024 at 11:45 PM
flatmatt.com
Higher numbers good, right?
Text-based image, white rectangle framed by a black-to-peach gradient, with Bluesky logo in the top left. "Celebrating 10M users 🎉 #1,868,422 flatmatt @flatmatt.com Joined Nov 6, 2023"
September 18, 2024 at 4:27 PM
flatmatt.com
Screenshot of 2 Bluesky posts on mobile in dark mode. Top post is by PolygonalShivs (@siobhancasey.bsky.social), a photo of a teal vinyl sign on a brick wall with the large text "try cumming" and smaller text "co.uk" in the lower right. Lower post is by Nintendo GIFs (@nintengifs.bsky.social) showing Prince Sidon, a tall red fish person with a white belly and face from The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild. His left arm is pumping and he had a visible sparkle in his smile. The image shows the in-game caption "Don't give up! I believe in you!"
July 31, 2024 at 11:49 PM
flatmatt.com
I didn't recognize where this was until I caught what I assume is the SAME SQUIRREL splooting on the SAME BENCH today. Unfortunately it got up before I could take a photo.
A brown squirrel, no longer splooting, on the nearest corner of a concrete bench, facing left, with its tail hanging off the front of the bench to the right. The bench is on the edge of a sidewalk, with another concrete bench sitting at an angle past it to the right.
June 14, 2024 at 5:02 PM