and it's especially hurtful not being taken seriously by people who should know best about how big changes affect everything

yes, i'm incredibly frustrated and angry and also.. hurt. i'm fucking hurt. it's not my job to help someone. i did it because i wanted to help. i don't expect anything in return - except consideration regarding the changes i'm about to work my way through.

and no, i don't see myself helping someone anytime soon because this change will fucking END me
and i sure as hell won't spend my off-days or weekends cleaning someone else's place, nope, not gonna happen
i helped because i had the time and capacity to do so

THAT WILL CHANGE.

i'm also not going to grow stuff myself because i am impatient, forgetful and lazy tbh
and i'm sure as hell not going into debt for weed, nope, not gonna happen

you get what you deserve. funnily i'm now one of the "good ones" again. after being called horrible things a few weeks ago, too. pick a lane, bitch, but stay out of mine.

but to my luck i'll probably have to deal with them again soon. oh the perks of living in a small town. /irony

manipulation, verbal abuse, EVERYTHING. of course the "accountability" and "reason" were fake through and through. not surprising, but still sad. and they were fucking surprised we all said "nope. fuck that and fuck you." lol
that's what you get for being nasty. you end up alone.

they decided on not wanting to meet up with that person. there's truly nothing to be said anymore. they were nice but direct, no mean stuff, nothing.

the absolute downright evil shit that followed was... something. to say the least.

we tried talking with them. individually and as a group. none of us have the capacity to deal with that.
a few days ago they came crawling back faking reason. we were all wary, but it was up to one friend to decide because they were the one who was contacted.

this person escalated the whole situation pretty much out of nowhere, shit talked ALL of us behind our backs and is now mad that we don't wanna deal with them anymore. nobody is interested in fighting with them. we're all like "you do you boo, but leave us alone".

i'll message u

i don't necessarily hope for/expect an answer. that'd be a neat bonus, but my goal was to properly thank them again for how they've helped me all those years ago. now i finally could.
it's still.. weird. to say the least.

CN Abuse

told her i'm going to therapy because none of them did. her reaction? she doesn't need it. she can deal with that herself.
yeah. THANKS A LOT FOR THAT. because you obviously can't. that's why i have to deal with my, your and their shit. because all of you made it my problem.

CN Abuse

every single fucking time i try to talk about my experiences with abuse from family my mom will say "but it was bad for me too!"
YOU WERE THE FUCKING ADULT. YOU COULD AND SHOULD HAVE REMOVED US FROM THAT SITUATION. BUT YOU DIDN'T.
and you know why? because of her pride. no other reason.

i've had these problems for over 10 years now. but it's been getting worse since summer '23. especially winter '23.

and since february this year.. it's absolutely fucked. and i don't know why. nor do i have the spoons to consult yet another doctor.