Alyssa Gonzalez
@fishlyssa.bsky.social
Author, writer, and enthusiast for all lifeforms. https://bio.site/alyssacgonzalez
Every time someone learns the etymology of "galaxy" they're awed anew at the breast-focusedness of the human race and I'm just here like,
listen,
the word comes from ancient Greece. We are LUCKY milk is the fluid they latched onto for this one.
listen,
the word comes from ancient Greece. We are LUCKY milk is the fluid they latched onto for this one.
September 2, 2025 at 1:20 AM
Every time someone learns the etymology of "galaxy" they're awed anew at the breast-focusedness of the human race and I'm just here like,
listen,
the word comes from ancient Greece. We are LUCKY milk is the fluid they latched onto for this one.
listen,
the word comes from ancient Greece. We are LUCKY milk is the fluid they latched onto for this one.
I describe the act of peeling the bark off a tree with a wood planer as preparation for eating that entire tree and this man begs me to perform that act on his genitals. It's amazing.
www.patreon.com/posts/ill-ea...
www.patreon.com/posts/ill-ea...
I'll Eat Your Tree | Alyssa Gonzalez
Get more from Alyssa Gonzalez on Patreon
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June 18, 2025 at 1:21 AM
I describe the act of peeling the bark off a tree with a wood planer as preparation for eating that entire tree and this man begs me to perform that act on his genitals. It's amazing.
www.patreon.com/posts/ill-ea...
www.patreon.com/posts/ill-ea...
I can think of better uses for a gorgeous June morning than a lingerie photoshoot on my balcony, but this is the one I picked. Enjoy :)
www.patreon.com/posts/sunlig...
www.patreon.com/posts/sunlig...
Sunlight in Green | Alyssa Gonzalez
Get more from Alyssa Gonzalez on Patreon
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June 8, 2025 at 3:51 PM
I can think of better uses for a gorgeous June morning than a lingerie photoshoot on my balcony, but this is the one I picked. Enjoy :)
www.patreon.com/posts/sunlig...
www.patreon.com/posts/sunlig...
The barrel shrimp has quite the secret when it comes to parenting. Inquire within.
www.patreon.com/posts/to-bor...
www.patreon.com/posts/to-bor...
To Borrow an Unseen Nursery: Phronima | Alyssa Gonzalez
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June 8, 2025 at 2:49 AM
The barrel shrimp has quite the secret when it comes to parenting. Inquire within.
www.patreon.com/posts/to-bor...
www.patreon.com/posts/to-bor...
Interested in my thoughts on Star Trek: Deep Space Nine? I'm in this fine book of essays by ATBPublishing.com :D Pre-order yours today!
May 16, 2025 at 2:03 AM
Interested in my thoughts on Star Trek: Deep Space Nine? I'm in this fine book of essays by ATBPublishing.com :D Pre-order yours today!
What am I wearing under my lab coat during this session of aquarium maintenance? I bet you'd like to see.
www.patreon.com/posts/mainta...
www.patreon.com/posts/mainta...
Maintaining the Wet | Alyssa Gonzalez
Get more from Alyssa Gonzalez on Patreon
www.patreon.com
May 11, 2025 at 6:54 PM
What am I wearing under my lab coat during this session of aquarium maintenance? I bet you'd like to see.
www.patreon.com/posts/mainta...
www.patreon.com/posts/mainta...
They told Pete Hegseth not to try to run Doom on his Tesla-issue brainchip, so he ran War Thunder instead.
April 26, 2025 at 7:08 PM
They told Pete Hegseth not to try to run Doom on his Tesla-issue brainchip, so he ran War Thunder instead.
I hope whichever necromancer intern resurrected RFK Jr. in 2008 knows that the new chapter on just how wrongly a person can come back is being written because of them specifically.
April 26, 2025 at 7:07 PM
I hope whichever necromancer intern resurrected RFK Jr. in 2008 knows that the new chapter on just how wrongly a person can come back is being written because of them specifically.
One day, we will find the haunted doll abattoir that disgorged JD Vance, and we will make sure there is no second body available for his soul to claim.
April 26, 2025 at 1:52 PM
One day, we will find the haunted doll abattoir that disgorged JD Vance, and we will make sure there is no second body available for his soul to claim.
We talk about mono-poly relationships all wrong, in ways that fly in the face of how we talk about nonmonogamy elsewhere.
www.patreon.com/posts/we-tal...
www.patreon.com/posts/we-tal...
We Talk About Mono-Poly Relationships All Wrong | Alyssa Gonzalez
Get more from Alyssa Gonzalez on Patreon
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April 7, 2025 at 9:17 PM
We talk about mono-poly relationships all wrong, in ways that fly in the face of how we talk about nonmonogamy elsewhere.
www.patreon.com/posts/we-tal...
www.patreon.com/posts/we-tal...
I reviewed the current Conservative Party of Canada platform. Here are the most awful bits quoted directly out of it. The character limit here is too low for my tastes, so head on over to www.facebook.com/fishlyssa/po...
Alyssa Gonzalez
For the curious, this link leads to the most recent Conservative Party of Canada policy statement.
Page references below are to actual pages in the document, not the internal pagination.
Page 14:...
www.facebook.com
March 31, 2025 at 1:39 AM
I reviewed the current Conservative Party of Canada platform. Here are the most awful bits quoted directly out of it. The character limit here is too low for my tastes, so head on over to www.facebook.com/fishlyssa/po...
Every time someone describes something as "meant" for/to something, there should be one question at the top of your mind:
Meant by whom?
Meant by whom?
March 4, 2025 at 3:49 AM
Every time someone describes something as "meant" for/to something, there should be one question at the top of your mind:
Meant by whom?
Meant by whom?
A medieval wine merchant from Vienna, aghast: "So my profession AND my demonym?"
"Yes, both of them."
"Because of sausage?"
"Yes."
"Yes, both of them."
"Because of sausage?"
"Yes."
February 26, 2025 at 2:35 AM
A medieval wine merchant from Vienna, aghast: "So my profession AND my demonym?"
"Yes, both of them."
"Because of sausage?"
"Yes."
"Yes, both of them."
"Because of sausage?"
"Yes."
You Don't Want to Live in Miami | Alyssa Gonzalez
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February 10, 2025 at 2:09 AM
Winter Heat | Alyssa Gonzalez
Get more from Alyssa Gonzalez on Patreon
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February 3, 2025 at 11:20 PM
Optimus Prime is a truck that turns into a giant red, white, and blue robot with a gun, a habit of heroically sacrificing himself and resurrecting, and a catchphrase about freedom.
He is the most American thing imaginable that isn't a bald eagle who sprouts beefy arms after eating cheeseburgers.
He is the most American thing imaginable that isn't a bald eagle who sprouts beefy arms after eating cheeseburgers.
January 23, 2025 at 11:34 PM
Optimus Prime is a truck that turns into a giant red, white, and blue robot with a gun, a habit of heroically sacrificing himself and resurrecting, and a catchphrase about freedom.
He is the most American thing imaginable that isn't a bald eagle who sprouts beefy arms after eating cheeseburgers.
He is the most American thing imaginable that isn't a bald eagle who sprouts beefy arms after eating cheeseburgers.
Excellent out-of-context line from fish hobby groups:
"You can order assassins on eBay for a reasonable price."
"You can order assassins on eBay for a reasonable price."
January 9, 2025 at 8:41 PM
Excellent out-of-context line from fish hobby groups:
"You can order assassins on eBay for a reasonable price."
"You can order assassins on eBay for a reasonable price."
As I pour my Rochester-brand Scottish root ginger into my ginger and sorrel tea and contemplate stirring in some powdered ginger, and remember the multiple boxes of Celebration-brand chocolate gingerbread cookies I inhaled this week, I get to thinking...
I sure do like cilantro.
I sure do like cilantro.
January 9, 2025 at 8:41 PM
As I pour my Rochester-brand Scottish root ginger into my ginger and sorrel tea and contemplate stirring in some powdered ginger, and remember the multiple boxes of Celebration-brand chocolate gingerbread cookies I inhaled this week, I get to thinking...
I sure do like cilantro.
I sure do like cilantro.
"How Far the Light Reaches: A Life in Ten Sea Creatures" by Sabrina Imbler. I had thoughts.
www.patreon.com/posts/how-fa...
www.patreon.com/posts/how-fa...
How Far the Light Reaches: A Review | Alyssa Gonzalez
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January 2, 2025 at 3:51 PM
"How Far the Light Reaches: A Life in Ten Sea Creatures" by Sabrina Imbler. I had thoughts.
www.patreon.com/posts/how-fa...
www.patreon.com/posts/how-fa...
Jordan Peterson is the physical manifestation of Ben Shapiro attempting to sext.
December 19, 2024 at 7:44 PM
Jordan Peterson is the physical manifestation of Ben Shapiro attempting to sext.
In our cyberpunk future, "child evangelism" refers to a religion centered on making gel from orphans named Evan.
December 18, 2024 at 10:38 PM
In our cyberpunk future, "child evangelism" refers to a religion centered on making gel from orphans named Evan.
In which a man speaks to me of lambs, and I oblige him most confusingly.
www.patreon.com/posts/mutton...
www.patreon.com/posts/mutton...
The Mutton of Our Salvation | Alyssa Gonzalez
Get more from Alyssa Gonzalez on Patreon
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December 11, 2024 at 11:08 PM
In which a man speaks to me of lambs, and I oblige him most confusingly.
www.patreon.com/posts/mutton...
www.patreon.com/posts/mutton...
The funniest thing that could happen in relation to current events is Timothee Chalemet transitioning tomorrow, and then ten years from now, Tiffanee Chalemet tells us that she did in that United Health CEO as Timothee's last hurrah.
December 8, 2024 at 12:32 AM
The funniest thing that could happen in relation to current events is Timothee Chalemet transitioning tomorrow, and then ten years from now, Tiffanee Chalemet tells us that she did in that United Health CEO as Timothee's last hurrah.
Beetles and butterflies can be spectacular, but they are not the whole story, and seeing the bigger picture shows us something about time.
the-orbit.net/alyssa/2024/...
the-orbit.net/alyssa/2024/...
The Larva Is What Time Sees • The Perfumed Void
the-orbit.net
December 7, 2024 at 8:13 PM
Beetles and butterflies can be spectacular, but they are not the whole story, and seeing the bigger picture shows us something about time.
the-orbit.net/alyssa/2024/...
the-orbit.net/alyssa/2024/...
The Poly Podcast interviewed me :) Enjoy wherever you enjoy your podcasts.
open.spotify.com/episode/0Yrd...
open.spotify.com/episode/0Yrd...
Neurodiversity And Non-Monogamy feat. Alyssa Gonzalez
The Poly (Pod)Cast · Episode
open.spotify.com
November 26, 2024 at 3:48 PM
The Poly Podcast interviewed me :) Enjoy wherever you enjoy your podcasts.
open.spotify.com/episode/0Yrd...
open.spotify.com/episode/0Yrd...