Just walking along, a random dude asks his kids, "who wants donut holes?" Me and another random dude at the same time: "ooo me!"

We all laugh. One kid is like noooo. Good times.

Something about crusty buffet jello hits different after prime rib, 3 lobsters drowned in butter, and all the trap sides rookies say to avoid but veterans know how to handle.

All we really need are 2 pan sizes: wide enough to lay bacon flat and useless.

Yes i know what a griddle is so miss me with all that.

Heading out in this storm to play some Friday Night Magic. If i happen to die in a car accident on the way please tell my mom i went out for something she'd understand. Like drugs or underground fighting rings.

No one taking the last chicken wing at the work potluck. They tried just tossing it on my plate as i walked by.

Hell no. Dont put that on me. Dodged that shit with the quickness.

You'll never see me taking the last piece of a dish. Goes against my religion.

No one was taking the last chicken wing from the work potluck so they tried to just toss it on my plate as i walked by.

Hell no. Dodged that shit with the quickness.

You'd never see me with the last bit of a dish. Goes against my religion.

Oh no. I went to a fancy coffee shop and ordered a hot chocolate and it was fancy. Bleh. I can taste actual chocolate. I just wanted sugar and powder 😥

Surely now i can become internet famous. Heres a something