Amy
@findingmuse.bsky.social
Gen X feminist into books, art, cooking, hikes, poetry. Trying to learn to love myself. C-PTSD survivor.
I’m feeling better. (I’ve been knocked out the last few days with a nasty cough and cold.) Today I felt like cooking pasta like Italians do it.
April 13, 2025 at 10:33 PM
I’m feeling better. (I’ve been knocked out the last few days with a nasty cough and cold.) Today I felt like cooking pasta like Italians do it.
Bought an illustrated copy of Tyranny. It matters.
April 7, 2025 at 4:54 PM
Bought an illustrated copy of Tyranny. It matters.
The most important part of my trip that had the most emotional impact on me: Dachau. Walking into the roll call area hit hard. I had to take deep breaths. I got weepy. Also walking past 30+ long gravel beds where the barracks were, to the crematorium area. Which was also really emotional.
April 7, 2025 at 4:54 PM
The most important part of my trip that had the most emotional impact on me: Dachau. Walking into the roll call area hit hard. I had to take deep breaths. I got weepy. Also walking past 30+ long gravel beds where the barracks were, to the crematorium area. Which was also really emotional.
Going to do a lot of thinking when I get home.
8/8
8/8
April 5, 2025 at 2:23 AM
Going to do a lot of thinking when I get home.
8/8
8/8
The biggest takeaway I had about Europe is that people here are not on their phones all the time. Seriously. Everywhere I went people were talking to other people, reading a book, people watching. If they were on their phones, it was because they were alone. And it looked purposeful.
⬇️7/
⬇️7/
April 5, 2025 at 2:23 AM
The biggest takeaway I had about Europe is that people here are not on their phones all the time. Seriously. Everywhere I went people were talking to other people, reading a book, people watching. If they were on their phones, it was because they were alone. And it looked purposeful.
⬇️7/
⬇️7/
Another plus to this trip was I think I could at least speed walk a 5K now. My core muscles need a ton of attention to fix my lower back issues but let me tell you: I’m going to hike and walk as much as possible after this. And I’m going to make some daily routine adjustments.
⬇️6/
⬇️6/
April 5, 2025 at 2:23 AM
Another plus to this trip was I think I could at least speed walk a 5K now. My core muscles need a ton of attention to fix my lower back issues but let me tell you: I’m going to hike and walk as much as possible after this. And I’m going to make some daily routine adjustments.
⬇️6/
⬇️6/
It taught me do NOT ever travel with a student tour group. They go too fast, and don’t give you time to savor.
But also: we are more alike as humans than different. There are things I miss about America, but I could easily have a life outside America.
So. I’m going to think a lot about that.
⬇️5/
But also: we are more alike as humans than different. There are things I miss about America, but I could easily have a life outside America.
So. I’m going to think a lot about that.
⬇️5/
April 5, 2025 at 2:23 AM
It taught me do NOT ever travel with a student tour group. They go too fast, and don’t give you time to savor.
But also: we are more alike as humans than different. There are things I miss about America, but I could easily have a life outside America.
So. I’m going to think a lot about that.
⬇️5/
But also: we are more alike as humans than different. There are things I miss about America, but I could easily have a life outside America.
So. I’m going to think a lot about that.
⬇️5/
But now I have to go back to a country with a leader doing very bad, very Putin things. Surrounded by men (let’s be real—these are all white men; the women & POCs helping them are pawns) who are actively working to install a dictatorship that looks like a democracy.
This trip was a reset, tho:
⬇️4/
This trip was a reset, tho:
⬇️4/
April 5, 2025 at 2:23 AM
But now I have to go back to a country with a leader doing very bad, very Putin things. Surrounded by men (let’s be real—these are all white men; the women & POCs helping them are pawns) who are actively working to install a dictatorship that looks like a democracy.
This trip was a reset, tho:
⬇️4/
This trip was a reset, tho:
⬇️4/
Where I saw a lot of WTF America?! was when I turned on a TV in a hotel room & looked at their news about us.
It is very very bad.
And I’m so worried, going back to it. Grateful I got to see some of the world I’ve always wanted to see. Happy I made memories w/my sweet daughter. Calf muscles?💪
⬇️3/
It is very very bad.
And I’m so worried, going back to it. Grateful I got to see some of the world I’ve always wanted to see. Happy I made memories w/my sweet daughter. Calf muscles?💪
⬇️3/
April 5, 2025 at 2:23 AM
Where I saw a lot of WTF America?! was when I turned on a TV in a hotel room & looked at their news about us.
It is very very bad.
And I’m so worried, going back to it. Grateful I got to see some of the world I’ve always wanted to see. Happy I made memories w/my sweet daughter. Calf muscles?💪
⬇️3/
It is very very bad.
And I’m so worried, going back to it. Grateful I got to see some of the world I’ve always wanted to see. Happy I made memories w/my sweet daughter. Calf muscles?💪
⬇️3/
Other than a dinner conversation about guns & school shootings, nobody talked about HIM. Maybe bc they didn’t know our politics or were too polite. We had a tour guide in London who was a Thatcher/royal family fan & thought America’s the bomb diggety. But she was uber eccentric. Possibly crazy.
⬇️2/
⬇️2/
April 5, 2025 at 2:23 AM
Other than a dinner conversation about guns & school shootings, nobody talked about HIM. Maybe bc they didn’t know our politics or were too polite. We had a tour guide in London who was a Thatcher/royal family fan & thought America’s the bomb diggety. But she was uber eccentric. Possibly crazy.
⬇️2/
⬇️2/
Here are some photos of my amazing & exhausting whirlwind trip in Europe. We’re almost at the end. I’m in Germany right now and we leave tomorrow. I have mixed feelings. I miss my bed. I miss my cat. I miss knowing how things (systems) work.
But it’s a bit depressing to go back to…you know.
⬇️ 1/8
But it’s a bit depressing to go back to…you know.
⬇️ 1/8
April 5, 2025 at 2:23 AM
Here are some photos of my amazing & exhausting whirlwind trip in Europe. We’re almost at the end. I’m in Germany right now and we leave tomorrow. I have mixed feelings. I miss my bed. I miss my cat. I miss knowing how things (systems) work.
But it’s a bit depressing to go back to…you know.
⬇️ 1/8
But it’s a bit depressing to go back to…you know.
⬇️ 1/8
Scenes from London. We got lost/separated from our group last night when we missed a Tube connection. An adventure! I slept like a corpse. This morning I had an English breakfast…but wasn’t brave enough to try the toast w/beans. (Tomorrow I will.)
March 30, 2025 at 6:54 AM
Scenes from London. We got lost/separated from our group last night when we missed a Tube connection. An adventure! I slept like a corpse. This morning I had an English breakfast…but wasn’t brave enough to try the toast w/beans. (Tomorrow I will.)
Okay, London. No more big fires and airport shutdowns, please. I just got my hair done, located my smile again, and I’m ready to walk 10K steps every day for a week with 30 teens and strange adults I don’t know (plus my own teen who I love very very much but she gets grumpy fast).
March 22, 2025 at 10:13 PM
Okay, London. No more big fires and airport shutdowns, please. I just got my hair done, located my smile again, and I’m ready to walk 10K steps every day for a week with 30 teens and strange adults I don’t know (plus my own teen who I love very very much but she gets grumpy fast).
In case you need a timeline cleanse. Here’s your reminder: go drink some tea. Or water. 🫖 Breathe.
March 16, 2025 at 5:46 PM
In case you need a timeline cleanse. Here’s your reminder: go drink some tea. Or water. 🫖 Breathe.
On the good news front, you guys. LOOK!!!
Twelve days. We verified our passports, chose our seats. I can’t believe it’s so close!!
Twelve days. We verified our passports, chose our seats. I can’t believe it’s so close!!
March 15, 2025 at 10:37 PM
On the good news front, you guys. LOOK!!!
Twelve days. We verified our passports, chose our seats. I can’t believe it’s so close!!
Twelve days. We verified our passports, chose our seats. I can’t believe it’s so close!!
Here’s me lip syncing to one of my life’s theme songs. It was for Wink Wednesday but we’ll call this Flirtatious Friday. Just pretend I’m Dick Van Dyke in drag.
March 14, 2025 at 11:15 PM
Here’s me lip syncing to one of my life’s theme songs. It was for Wink Wednesday but we’ll call this Flirtatious Friday. Just pretend I’m Dick Van Dyke in drag.
Flowers. From a sweet boy. (These won’t pay my rent, but they make my job happier.)
March 11, 2025 at 10:17 PM
Flowers. From a sweet boy. (These won’t pay my rent, but they make my job happier.)
Went out with my girl,
To do capitalism
Before the rich win.
She said no to a
Selfie, because her hair was
Not perfect—like her.
She’s perfect as is
And I wish she saw herself
Through my eyes, with love.
#poem
To do capitalism
Before the rich win.
She said no to a
Selfie, because her hair was
Not perfect—like her.
She’s perfect as is
And I wish she saw herself
Through my eyes, with love.
#poem
March 9, 2025 at 12:13 AM
Went out with my girl,
To do capitalism
Before the rich win.
She said no to a
Selfie, because her hair was
Not perfect—like her.
She’s perfect as is
And I wish she saw herself
Through my eyes, with love.
#poem
To do capitalism
Before the rich win.
She said no to a
Selfie, because her hair was
Not perfect—like her.
She’s perfect as is
And I wish she saw herself
Through my eyes, with love.
#poem
She’s laying on a plastic bag that held a slice of leftover pizza (loaded with green peppers & just as yummy cold for breakfast as dinner) was in. It’s either the smell of the food she likes …or she’s being passive aggressive about me not putting food in her dish before feeding myself.
#Cats 🤷🏼♀️
#Cats 🤷🏼♀️
March 2, 2025 at 5:45 PM
She’s laying on a plastic bag that held a slice of leftover pizza (loaded with green peppers & just as yummy cold for breakfast as dinner) was in. It’s either the smell of the food she likes …or she’s being passive aggressive about me not putting food in her dish before feeding myself.
#Cats 🤷🏼♀️
#Cats 🤷🏼♀️
For transparency—and no I’m not blocking out names. I am done protecting abusers. Particularly abusers who try to destroy my offline life. And hurt my child.
No mercy for the merciless.
No mercy for the merciless.
March 1, 2025 at 4:56 PM
For transparency—and no I’m not blocking out names. I am done protecting abusers. Particularly abusers who try to destroy my offline life. And hurt my child.
No mercy for the merciless.
No mercy for the merciless.
At any rate, I am back in control. Not them.
I’m fortunate to have an ex-husband who’s helping me. If they attempt anymore anything, there will be legal consequences.
Now I can focus on therapy and melting the gold needed to pour into all the areas they broke. It will take a very long time.
I’m fortunate to have an ex-husband who’s helping me. If they attempt anymore anything, there will be legal consequences.
Now I can focus on therapy and melting the gold needed to pour into all the areas they broke. It will take a very long time.
March 1, 2025 at 4:46 PM
At any rate, I am back in control. Not them.
I’m fortunate to have an ex-husband who’s helping me. If they attempt anymore anything, there will be legal consequences.
Now I can focus on therapy and melting the gold needed to pour into all the areas they broke. It will take a very long time.
I’m fortunate to have an ex-husband who’s helping me. If they attempt anymore anything, there will be legal consequences.
Now I can focus on therapy and melting the gold needed to pour into all the areas they broke. It will take a very long time.
Spent November surviving. December was hope. January was anger. February was empowerment…til psychopaths took control again. So after what happened last week, I’m not in any kind of space to heal anything, actually. I’m in survival mode.
Which is as exhausting as healing, but in a different way.
Which is as exhausting as healing, but in a different way.
February 28, 2025 at 2:03 AM
Spent November surviving. December was hope. January was anger. February was empowerment…til psychopaths took control again. So after what happened last week, I’m not in any kind of space to heal anything, actually. I’m in survival mode.
Which is as exhausting as healing, but in a different way.
Which is as exhausting as healing, but in a different way.
It’s been a quiet day, but I’ve heard from lots of people who I adore. I’m having arroz con pollo con un mojito cubano with my sweet girl. Thank you so much to everyone who made me feel loved today.
February 24, 2025 at 12:20 AM
It’s been a quiet day, but I’ve heard from lots of people who I adore. I’m having arroz con pollo con un mojito cubano with my sweet girl. Thank you so much to everyone who made me feel loved today.
Part 3 of 3:
I hope this worked out right. Hopefully the important parts are in there.
Blue Sky really needs to increase its video time permits.
I hope this worked out right. Hopefully the important parts are in there.
Blue Sky really needs to increase its video time permits.
February 21, 2025 at 2:47 PM
Part 3 of 3:
I hope this worked out right. Hopefully the important parts are in there.
Blue Sky really needs to increase its video time permits.
I hope this worked out right. Hopefully the important parts are in there.
Blue Sky really needs to increase its video time permits.