Pinned
Mike
@fike1.bsky.social
· Nov 23
Yo mama so fat if she was a constellation Orion’s Belt would need another notch
Joey Chestnut is the perfect name for that guy
July 4, 2025 at 9:00 PM
Joey Chestnut is the perfect name for that guy
Yellow lab, black lab, yeah let’s name the last one chocolate lab also he can’t eat chocolate or he will die
June 8, 2025 at 1:33 AM
Yellow lab, black lab, yeah let’s name the last one chocolate lab also he can’t eat chocolate or he will die
My dog be like “OH NO I’m late for my nuisance appointment!”
April 26, 2025 at 1:31 AM
My dog be like “OH NO I’m late for my nuisance appointment!”
A wizard (the eye doctor) cast a spell on me that makes it hurt to look at the sky (dilated my eyes)
April 25, 2025 at 1:07 AM
A wizard (the eye doctor) cast a spell on me that makes it hurt to look at the sky (dilated my eyes)
If they didn’t want me drinking on the job they wouldn’t have put a fridge in the break room
April 10, 2025 at 9:35 PM
If they didn’t want me drinking on the job they wouldn’t have put a fridge in the break room
What is crypto and why is Superman so scared of it
March 3, 2025 at 10:35 PM
What is crypto and why is Superman so scared of it
Guy on the treadmill next to me seems to be training for the loudest clomper of the year award
March 3, 2025 at 9:52 PM
Guy on the treadmill next to me seems to be training for the loudest clomper of the year award
Reposted by Mike
To smithereens has gotta be the worst way to get blown
February 10, 2025 at 4:52 AM
To smithereens has gotta be the worst way to get blown
PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE LET THE BET HIT PUNXATAWNY
February 2, 2025 at 5:04 AM
PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE LET THE BET HIT PUNXATAWNY
Betting my paycheck on the hog to see his shadow
February 1, 2025 at 4:28 PM
Betting my paycheck on the hog to see his shadow
Walked into the locker room to change into gym clothes and someone was taking such a vile shit I just turned around went home
January 24, 2025 at 9:56 PM
Walked into the locker room to change into gym clothes and someone was taking such a vile shit I just turned around went home
Real men have initials in their names
Like J.R.R. Tolkien
And Wile E. Coyote
Like J.R.R. Tolkien
And Wile E. Coyote
January 24, 2025 at 3:11 AM
Real men have initials in their names
Like J.R.R. Tolkien
And Wile E. Coyote
Like J.R.R. Tolkien
And Wile E. Coyote
God doesn’t smite people anymore he just makes them forget to bring headphones to the gym
January 9, 2025 at 10:05 PM
God doesn’t smite people anymore he just makes them forget to bring headphones to the gym
The bottom bun of a hamburger should be the larger bun
I’m tired of holding mush burgers with no structural integrity
I’m tired of holding mush burgers with no structural integrity
January 9, 2025 at 6:06 PM
The bottom bun of a hamburger should be the larger bun
I’m tired of holding mush burgers with no structural integrity
I’m tired of holding mush burgers with no structural integrity
Teachers just be gossiping about fun facts to kids all day
January 3, 2025 at 10:06 PM
Teachers just be gossiping about fun facts to kids all day
Ten years late but 45 minutes in and Interstellar is a 5/5
January 3, 2025 at 1:35 AM
Ten years late but 45 minutes in and Interstellar is a 5/5
The Barbie movie cars are so fly
December 25, 2024 at 1:19 AM
The Barbie movie cars are so fly
Witnessing a country music musical would kill me instantly
December 22, 2024 at 11:02 PM
Witnessing a country music musical would kill me instantly
If a tik tok starts with “today we’re going to..” I am not watching that shit
December 18, 2024 at 6:21 PM
If a tik tok starts with “today we’re going to..” I am not watching that shit
Officially a lame boring ugly office drone because someone just thanked me for “circling back via email”
December 17, 2024 at 9:02 PM
Officially a lame boring ugly office drone because someone just thanked me for “circling back via email”
Putting a bomb in my hear me out cake and detonating it if anyone includes conventionally attractive people
December 15, 2024 at 11:40 PM
Putting a bomb in my hear me out cake and detonating it if anyone includes conventionally attractive people
Quitting the gym bc they’re blasting nondenominational Christmas music louder than the Kendrick in my earbuds
December 9, 2024 at 10:50 PM
Quitting the gym bc they’re blasting nondenominational Christmas music louder than the Kendrick in my earbuds
Yo mama so stupid she couldn’t think of a yo mama joke
November 24, 2024 at 4:23 AM
Yo mama so stupid she couldn’t think of a yo mama joke