Lol, Wish! Nice try! You can't fool me! My allergies are in full swing already and you ain't gonna get here until summer. #allergictotheworld #yatoolate #igotmesomezyrtec #buynowgetnever #facemasksarefortheweak #whyyouteasingmelikethat #achoo #pollinationisabitch #fuckyounature

Look at these! *gestures to boobies* Do you think these just grow on trees??

The cutest thing since puppies.

Rescued a kitten. Fell asleep, roommate took pic. End result: cutest facehugger in the world.

Gonna glue a fake gem into my belly button, wear a colored wig that sticks up, and yell disparaging stuff. #troll