Fork Tongued Lizard Witch 🦎
@ferretndfurious.bsky.social
I identify as a screaming opossum holding a clove of garlic.
I wish someone could go back in time and tell 13-year-old-me that one day she'd be 31, dancing around with her dog singing the same Fall Out Boy songs.
September 2, 2025 at 4:54 PM
I wish someone could go back in time and tell 13-year-old-me that one day she'd be 31, dancing around with her dog singing the same Fall Out Boy songs.
Not to be vulnerable on the internet or anything, but I can't tell if I'm happy or sad anymore. It kind of all feels the same.
August 22, 2025 at 4:50 PM
Not to be vulnerable on the internet or anything, but I can't tell if I'm happy or sad anymore. It kind of all feels the same.
Well, you know what they say....
When all else fails, completely remove your catalytic converter and downpipe your car 🙃
When all else fails, completely remove your catalytic converter and downpipe your car 🙃
June 9, 2025 at 6:08 PM
Well, you know what they say....
When all else fails, completely remove your catalytic converter and downpipe your car 🙃
When all else fails, completely remove your catalytic converter and downpipe your car 🙃
Happy Tuesday.
I'm so mad I can hear my own heartbeat.
I'm so mad I can hear my own heartbeat.
May 27, 2025 at 6:19 PM
Happy Tuesday.
I'm so mad I can hear my own heartbeat.
I'm so mad I can hear my own heartbeat.
She was thinking Mr. Right.
I was thinking right now.
I was thinking right now.
May 21, 2025 at 11:39 PM
She was thinking Mr. Right.
I was thinking right now.
I was thinking right now.
I miss a lot of my friends honestly. I miss spending time with them. And bonfires. And getting absolutely sideways drunk and trying to swim. And watching anime together. Going makeup shopping together 🥲🥲🥲🥲🥲🥲🥲🥲
May 20, 2025 at 1:33 AM
I miss a lot of my friends honestly. I miss spending time with them. And bonfires. And getting absolutely sideways drunk and trying to swim. And watching anime together. Going makeup shopping together 🥲🥲🥲🥲🥲🥲🥲🥲
Ngl I miss my guy best friend so bad I want to go down to Florida and kick his car and tell him I miss him, let his girlfriend know she is SO pretty, and then cry in traffic back home.
May 20, 2025 at 1:31 AM
Ngl I miss my guy best friend so bad I want to go down to Florida and kick his car and tell him I miss him, let his girlfriend know she is SO pretty, and then cry in traffic back home.
> Bedroom cleaned
> Plant chores done
> Kitchen cleaned
> Two loads of laundry *mostly* done
> Held true to monitoring my food intake
> Saved hella workout stuff on TikTok for calisthenics
> My back hurts
> Plant chores done
> Kitchen cleaned
> Two loads of laundry *mostly* done
> Held true to monitoring my food intake
> Saved hella workout stuff on TikTok for calisthenics
> My back hurts
May 20, 2025 at 1:25 AM
> Bedroom cleaned
> Plant chores done
> Kitchen cleaned
> Two loads of laundry *mostly* done
> Held true to monitoring my food intake
> Saved hella workout stuff on TikTok for calisthenics
> My back hurts
> Plant chores done
> Kitchen cleaned
> Two loads of laundry *mostly* done
> Held true to monitoring my food intake
> Saved hella workout stuff on TikTok for calisthenics
> My back hurts
The relationship I have with the wild mushroom soup at Publix could damn near be studied at this point. It is so fucking good 😭😭
May 17, 2025 at 4:30 PM
The relationship I have with the wild mushroom soup at Publix could damn near be studied at this point. It is so fucking good 😭😭
I was a dick
It is what it is
A habit to kick
The age-old curse
I tend to laugh whenever I'm sad
I stare at the crash, it actually works.
Making amends
This shit never ends
I'm wrong again
Wrong again.
(The grip this song has on me is borderline painful)
It is what it is
A habit to kick
The age-old curse
I tend to laugh whenever I'm sad
I stare at the crash, it actually works.
Making amends
This shit never ends
I'm wrong again
Wrong again.
(The grip this song has on me is borderline painful)
May 2, 2025 at 6:45 PM
I was a dick
It is what it is
A habit to kick
The age-old curse
I tend to laugh whenever I'm sad
I stare at the crash, it actually works.
Making amends
This shit never ends
I'm wrong again
Wrong again.
(The grip this song has on me is borderline painful)
It is what it is
A habit to kick
The age-old curse
I tend to laugh whenever I'm sad
I stare at the crash, it actually works.
Making amends
This shit never ends
I'm wrong again
Wrong again.
(The grip this song has on me is borderline painful)
I've been through a lot of shit in my life but honestly one of the worst thing to ever happen to me is my debit card expiring and me having to update all my auto-draft bills for every single subscription and monthly housing bill that exists.
April 18, 2025 at 12:40 AM
I've been through a lot of shit in my life but honestly one of the worst thing to ever happen to me is my debit card expiring and me having to update all my auto-draft bills for every single subscription and monthly housing bill that exists.
Taking advantage of my maybe 10 followers here but
I HAVE FINALLY *finally* after 4 years been able to "re-claim" my back yard and I normally don't cry and truthfully haven't cried about it but my soul is definitely crying because FUCK YES I DID IT.
I HAVE FINALLY *finally* after 4 years been able to "re-claim" my back yard and I normally don't cry and truthfully haven't cried about it but my soul is definitely crying because FUCK YES I DID IT.
April 15, 2025 at 7:03 PM
Taking advantage of my maybe 10 followers here but
I HAVE FINALLY *finally* after 4 years been able to "re-claim" my back yard and I normally don't cry and truthfully haven't cried about it but my soul is definitely crying because FUCK YES I DID IT.
I HAVE FINALLY *finally* after 4 years been able to "re-claim" my back yard and I normally don't cry and truthfully haven't cried about it but my soul is definitely crying because FUCK YES I DID IT.
I'm so glad I opted to have a 401k when I started my job 4 years ago because everyone kept bullying me to do it.
Anyways how about that stock market crash?
Anyways how about that stock market crash?
April 7, 2025 at 6:14 PM
I'm so glad I opted to have a 401k when I started my job 4 years ago because everyone kept bullying me to do it.
Anyways how about that stock market crash?
Anyways how about that stock market crash?
There's something so rewarding in getting your yard mowed and weed packed so you don't have to do it on your day off.
Bonus round of rewarding for getting to sit outside listening to music watching birds DECIMATE my freshly filled bird feeders.
Bonus round of rewarding for getting to sit outside listening to music watching birds DECIMATE my freshly filled bird feeders.
April 1, 2025 at 11:39 PM
There's something so rewarding in getting your yard mowed and weed packed so you don't have to do it on your day off.
Bonus round of rewarding for getting to sit outside listening to music watching birds DECIMATE my freshly filled bird feeders.
Bonus round of rewarding for getting to sit outside listening to music watching birds DECIMATE my freshly filled bird feeders.
And because I'm kind of on a "running out of time" ordeal when it comes to my current car...I'm going to take it SO personally that it's going to force me to settle for something I don't really want. Or something I'm not even nearly as interested in. It may be dumb but it has me SO in my feelings.
March 30, 2025 at 5:29 PM
And because I'm kind of on a "running out of time" ordeal when it comes to my current car...I'm going to take it SO personally that it's going to force me to settle for something I don't really want. Or something I'm not even nearly as interested in. It may be dumb but it has me SO in my feelings.
I so much so hate that I'm finally at a point where I can save for a car and the cars I want aren't even out of this world to ask for and because of inflation they're all basically 50k cars now.
March 30, 2025 at 5:27 PM
I so much so hate that I'm finally at a point where I can save for a car and the cars I want aren't even out of this world to ask for and because of inflation they're all basically 50k cars now.
7 years ago
I miss having yellow hair sooooooo much it hurts 🥲🥲🥲🥲
I miss having yellow hair sooooooo much it hurts 🥲🥲🥲🥲
March 17, 2025 at 10:34 PM
7 years ago
I miss having yellow hair sooooooo much it hurts 🥲🥲🥲🥲
I miss having yellow hair sooooooo much it hurts 🥲🥲🥲🥲
Lüften and chill chore day to get some fresh air and energy into the house.
The birds are chirping.
My dog is intermittently sunbathing.
I'm doing random chores while attempting to find the one thing I need to complete the chore I wanted to do today.
I need 5 more days like this at least.
The birds are chirping.
My dog is intermittently sunbathing.
I'm doing random chores while attempting to find the one thing I need to complete the chore I wanted to do today.
I need 5 more days like this at least.
March 14, 2025 at 5:27 PM
Lüften and chill chore day to get some fresh air and energy into the house.
The birds are chirping.
My dog is intermittently sunbathing.
I'm doing random chores while attempting to find the one thing I need to complete the chore I wanted to do today.
I need 5 more days like this at least.
The birds are chirping.
My dog is intermittently sunbathing.
I'm doing random chores while attempting to find the one thing I need to complete the chore I wanted to do today.
I need 5 more days like this at least.
Plant chore day
Plant chore day
Plant chore day
🪴 🌱 🌿 🌾 🌵
Plant chore day
Plant chore day
🪴 🌱 🌿 🌾 🌵
March 14, 2025 at 4:47 PM
Plant chore day
Plant chore day
Plant chore day
🪴 🌱 🌿 🌾 🌵
Plant chore day
Plant chore day
🪴 🌱 🌿 🌾 🌵
I also really want food and my brain will not tell me what kind of food I want so things are going pretty great for me honestly.
February 22, 2025 at 11:51 PM
I also really want food and my brain will not tell me what kind of food I want so things are going pretty great for me honestly.
Would literally rather peel my skin off than go into this Publix after an 8am-6pm straight with no lunch break work day.
February 22, 2025 at 11:50 PM
Would literally rather peel my skin off than go into this Publix after an 8am-6pm straight with no lunch break work day.
2 years ago via my memories 🥹🥹
Whittle Soup 🍲
Whittle Soup 🍲
February 20, 2025 at 10:41 PM
2 years ago via my memories 🥹🥹
Whittle Soup 🍲
Whittle Soup 🍲
Today is one of those days off where just.......meh. I have no steam in me. I don't want to go to work tomorrow.
Just a really bad month for being in a funk.
Just a really bad month for being in a funk.
February 19, 2025 at 11:35 PM
Today is one of those days off where just.......meh. I have no steam in me. I don't want to go to work tomorrow.
Just a really bad month for being in a funk.
Just a really bad month for being in a funk.
Howie the crab passed away today and 😭😭😭😭😭😭
February 19, 2025 at 6:05 PM
Howie the crab passed away today and 😭😭😭😭😭😭