but uhhhh yea, if anyone missed me, then hi hello i'm back on bluesky. this is a way better place for me than twitter anyway

and as for the whole "situation" between me and another person:

we made up, and we won't be fighting anymore (i hope to god anyways), but i still don't feel safe after everything i experienced in 2025. i'm just not so sure if i feel fully ready yet, but, i could post a few art pieces here n there.

and before any of you start any shit i'm just going to say this now:

i'm only coming back here because of the shit that elon keeps doing to twitter. i might go back to posting art, but at the current moment, i want to rest my head for the first few days of this new year.

I don't know when I'll be going back to posting regularly again, but right now, I can't show my face anywhere at the moment, and I probably never will be able to ever again. I just want to forget about all of this and move on. My internet life is not in a great state right now.

also i forgot to say this in the counseling part, but my next call is tomorrow. i'll talk to her about how i'm feeling and i'll see what she recommends i should do to relieve my mental stress and things related.

i'm gonna try to relax for the rest of the week/weekend as much as i can, stay safe.

TL;DR:

still not feeling the best but i'm slowly recovering, i just need more time before making bigger stuff again.

overall, i'm still not happy, but i have somewhat calmed down after a week. i will continue being on a hiatus from doing major stuff, but i will keep posting about how i'm feeling currently. i might post like one or two little art pieces but i want to keep things slow so i don't overwork myself.

also, for those telling me to get therapy, i have been doing counselor calls for a couple years now. the one i had previously was really helpful for me, but i had to get a new one since he retired months ago, although the new one is nice and i hope she does as good as the previous one.

i most likely will post an update on my youtube since i concerned some people, but i just want to make it clear that i'm not taking my own life, i'm just going through really rough shit rn and i want to try my best to improve/find a way to relax so i don't feel so stressed.

(yes i'm still on hiatus)

as much as i really don't want to leave suddenly, i have to. i don't want anyone else to be in danger because of me.

but other than that, this will be my last message until further notice.

i hope you all stay safe, and stay out of trouble. i'll see you whenever. not now, nor tomorrow.

goodbye

if i really want to become better, then i need to do the right thing right away, instead of stalling. i could go on and on for hours, but there is no point for that.

all that i am going to say is this:

i am not a horrible person. nor did i ever plan on being one. i just make big mistakes commonly.

even though i am getting older, this does not excuse the fact that i should be acting like the way that i am. i am becoming what i wanted to avoid and it is genuinely making me sick. i am ashamed with myself on how this is what i am becoming, but if i keep saying that, then nothing will change.