If you can’t handle me at my cobblestone, you don’t deserve me at my ender pearl
December 10, 2025 at 1:00 AM
If you can’t handle me at my cobblestone, you don’t deserve me at my ender pearl
Reservations are so embarrassing, like ya hi I’m here for my spaghetti appointment
December 10, 2025 at 1:00 AM
Reservations are so embarrassing, like ya hi I’m here for my spaghetti appointment
You said watermelon? I thought you said Guatemalan.
November 28, 2025 at 12:35 AM
You said watermelon? I thought you said Guatemalan.
Apparently 1 in 5 people around the world is Chinese and there are 5 people in my family, so it must be one of them.
It’s either my mom or my dad, or my older brother Colin, or my younger brother Ho-Chan-Chou. But I think it’s Colin.
It’s either my mom or my dad, or my older brother Colin, or my younger brother Ho-Chan-Chou. But I think it’s Colin.
November 28, 2025 at 12:35 AM
Apparently 1 in 5 people around the world is Chinese and there are 5 people in my family, so it must be one of them.
It’s either my mom or my dad, or my older brother Colin, or my younger brother Ho-Chan-Chou. But I think it’s Colin.
It’s either my mom or my dad, or my older brother Colin, or my younger brother Ho-Chan-Chou. But I think it’s Colin.
Body parts are often metaphors. Guts are courage. Balls are courage. Spine is courage. Toes are small pigs that participate in the market economy.
November 20, 2025 at 1:50 AM
Body parts are often metaphors. Guts are courage. Balls are courage. Spine is courage. Toes are small pigs that participate in the market economy.
You really can’t be sexting as a smart guy, you end up sounding like a vampire.
November 18, 2025 at 12:33 PM
You really can’t be sexting as a smart guy, you end up sounding like a vampire.
Cows make milk - think about that for a second.
November 16, 2025 at 5:00 AM
Cows make milk - think about that for a second.
Toy Story 5 gonna be all about the toys going up my ass
November 15, 2025 at 4:34 AM
Toy Story 5 gonna be all about the toys going up my ass
Her eyes were a striking blue, like blue Gatorade, and her cheeks were flushed, like Red Gatorade. Her demeanor was mysterious, yet refreshing, like Yellow Gatorade. And her dress was the hue of Orange Gatorade.
November 14, 2025 at 1:55 AM
Her eyes were a striking blue, like blue Gatorade, and her cheeks were flushed, like Red Gatorade. Her demeanor was mysterious, yet refreshing, like Yellow Gatorade. And her dress was the hue of Orange Gatorade.
Craving a sloppy Joe rn, minus the Joe.
Actually hol up, fuck it, Joe get in here too man.
Actually hol up, fuck it, Joe get in here too man.
November 10, 2025 at 1:21 AM
Craving a sloppy Joe rn, minus the Joe.
Actually hol up, fuck it, Joe get in here too man.
Actually hol up, fuck it, Joe get in here too man.
Got a job interview (jew) next week
October 28, 2025 at 9:53 PM
Got a job interview (jew) next week
Just found out what a Pedicurist is. My future is looking real bright folks
October 27, 2025 at 11:01 PM
Just found out what a Pedicurist is. My future is looking real bright folks
French gooners be like “time to jacques oeuf.”
October 26, 2025 at 2:13 PM
French gooners be like “time to jacques oeuf.”
Cars and I just made it to round 30, BO2 Zombies on Town without jug and only hitting the mystery box twice each, get on our level. Our wives are 10’s.
October 24, 2025 at 11:31 PM
Cars and I just made it to round 30, BO2 Zombies on Town without jug and only hitting the mystery box twice each, get on our level. Our wives are 10’s.
“Finger lickin good” implies the existence of “Toe sucking evil”
October 23, 2025 at 12:52 AM
“Finger lickin good” implies the existence of “Toe sucking evil”
So lemme get this straight, when you stand up your lap just disappears? I’m not buying it
October 16, 2025 at 11:33 PM
So lemme get this straight, when you stand up your lap just disappears? I’m not buying it
People who are glazing Socrates and Plato gotta stop. I’d also be a master of thought if I were the 7th person alive
October 16, 2025 at 11:08 PM
People who are glazing Socrates and Plato gotta stop. I’d also be a master of thought if I were the 7th person alive
Is there a Mister Ogynist? I’d feel more comfortable talking to him.
October 9, 2025 at 10:11 PM
Is there a Mister Ogynist? I’d feel more comfortable talking to him.
If you guys thought P Diddy was bad wait till you meet his brother - Poop Diddy
October 3, 2025 at 11:55 PM
If you guys thought P Diddy was bad wait till you meet his brother - Poop Diddy
If I had a dollar for every low down racist out there, I’d be Elon Muskist
October 2, 2025 at 10:13 PM
If I had a dollar for every low down racist out there, I’d be Elon Muskist
People only like u cuz ur kind lmfao. U literally only have friends cuz ur fun to be around lol.
October 2, 2025 at 1:29 PM
People only like u cuz ur kind lmfao. U literally only have friends cuz ur fun to be around lol.
The name Carson is just a fiery felony with a C in front, OPEN YOUR EYES
October 1, 2025 at 11:31 PM
The name Carson is just a fiery felony with a C in front, OPEN YOUR EYES
Just got circumcised today! #NewDickWhoDis #TookTheTopOffTheMaybach
September 29, 2025 at 11:58 PM
Just got circumcised today! #NewDickWhoDis #TookTheTopOffTheMaybach
Biden: Look folks the fact is, we can’t…. we don’t….. look. Here’s the deal. Americans don’t tackle the fish right?
Trump: There are 10 billion Gautamalans attacking the Lincoln Memorial right now
Trump: There are 10 billion Gautamalans attacking the Lincoln Memorial right now
September 29, 2025 at 8:31 PM
Biden: Look folks the fact is, we can’t…. we don’t….. look. Here’s the deal. Americans don’t tackle the fish right?
Trump: There are 10 billion Gautamalans attacking the Lincoln Memorial right now
Trump: There are 10 billion Gautamalans attacking the Lincoln Memorial right now
Cumming on bass
September 28, 2025 at 6:19 AM
Cumming on bass