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fakehappy.monster
Oops! All Jazeera
@fakehappy.monster
430 followers 500 following 2.4K posts
He/him. Rated R for indiscriminate gunplay, profanity directed at children, and a scene of swindling
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fakehappy.monster
Insufficient, imo
Bart Simpson standing behind somewhere around twenty megaphones lined up end to end, pointed out a window.
January 7, 2026 at 4:19 AM
fakehappy.monster
I bet you thought I forgot, huh. Well you thought right, I did forget. Forgot immediately. Anyway here are some more, happy new year
Cover of the amazing and very tall calendar “a year of the sidsons.” It is helpfully marked in big numbers as being for the year 2026. The March page in the calendar. The image is of Homer, dressed for winter weather, in front of a calendar for the month “SMARCH.” And the October page. I think this one is my favorite. The image is of Bart in his clown bed.
January 4, 2026 at 1:41 AM
fakehappy.monster
@sidvicious.ca FUCK YES SANTA GOT MY LIST
A photo of January from Sid’s “A Year of the Sidsons” 2026 calendar. The background includes a pink Christmas tree and a blazing fireplace fire, with the mantel decorated with various Christmas decorations
December 25, 2025 at 5:23 PM
fakehappy.monster
This has got to be the least appetizing picture I’ve ever fucking seen on a chip package
A photo I took of Pringles cans with the, I hope, limited-edition flavor “Beer Can Chicken.” It features an image of a fully, I would actually say way overdone, cooked chicken with a can of Miller Lite awkwardly photoshopped behind it. It’s almost like they’re evoking the IDEA of how you cook beer can chicken, but it’s all wrong. It’s all very unattractive.
December 6, 2025 at 6:30 PM
fakehappy.monster
Helping people make cakes is actually where Butterball shines
The Cenobite known (unofficially) as Butterball, from the Hellraiser movies. He’s really kind and helpful if you happen to summon him with the Butter Configuration
October 24, 2025 at 5:08 PM
fakehappy.monster
Whoever made yesterday’s NYT Connections puzzle is an Alex Chilton fan:
New York Times Connections puzzle. In the top row, “Third,” “Sister,” and “Lovers” are consecutive squares. In the second row, “Big” and “Star” are consecutive squares. Hell yeah
October 11, 2025 at 3:03 PM
fakehappy.monster
Very excited to see this back in my inbox! I did want to ask if you’d consider giving your own charts a non-transparent background for those of us using dark mode (Gmail, at least, does have an option to switch to a light theme for a specific email, but it’s a little tough to find):
Screenshot of Philip Bump’s excellent “How to Read This Chart” newsletter, showing that the charts he’s created are difficult to read in dark mode, as they have a transparent background. The text and some other elements in the charts are dark on dark. A second screenshot from the newsletter, showing some of the charts he’s pulled from other sources and which have a white background. These are clear and easy to read in dark mode.
October 11, 2025 at 2:48 PM
fakehappy.monster
I believe him
That the NSA catfished him on Facebook by contacting him while pretending to be actress Michele Rodriguez, whom Chansley identifies as "my celebrity crush"
September 28, 2025 at 10:21 PM
fakehappy.monster
I get what you’re saying—it’d be a little like Dr. Doom using a gun. Counterpoint, though: check out Dr. Doom using a gun
Screenshot from a fighting game where Dr. Doom is dramatically revealing he’s concealed-carrying a gun Same fighting game. Doom is now shooting the gun at Ghost Rider, and it’s firing a huge flare of energy and black blobs and stuff at poor GR. Same game. The gun is so fuckin’ sweet that we see the entire screen has changed to a stark black and white, no gray. The effect almost makes you think Doom has shot some kind of nuke out of the gun
September 23, 2025 at 11:51 PM
fakehappy.monster
Not the Neutral Milk Hotel Halloween décor at Michael’s
A Halloween decoration in a frame that says “How strange it is to be anything at all” in a decorative style that makes me pretty sure a designer convinced their boss it was a quote from Alice in Wonderland. It’s flanked by two black flasks with crystal stoppers.
August 31, 2025 at 4:35 PM
fakehappy.monster
I don’t know shit about fighting games, but I can’t stop watching the trailer for Marvel Tōkon: Fighting Souls, where some absolute genius gave Dr. Doom a GUN
Screen from fighting game Marvel Tōkon: Fighting Souls, showing Dr. Doom very dramatically (of course) revealing he’s wearing a hip holster. And there’s a gun in it! Dr. Doom using said gun on Ghost Rider (Robbie Reyes version). The gun is not shooting a bullet, but something that might as well be a tear in spacetime, or an exploding sun. The initial explosion of the gun has run its course, but now, as Ghost Rider falls backward, the entire game screen has turned to a stark black and white for a moment, presumably because Doom’s gun has briefly destroyed all color in the vicinity, or perhaps the universe.
August 27, 2025 at 10:32 PM
fakehappy.monster
Second look at DDL from later in the film
A white variety of the anemone flower. This one is commonly called “The Bride.” Its petals are white, and the center has a touch of green. The joke here is that Daniel Day-Lewis can disappear into a role so completely that he could actually turn into an anemone. It’s a really funny joke.
August 12, 2025 at 1:28 PM
fakehappy.monster
I don’t ever want to know what the fuck is going on here
Screenshot of a preview thumbnail for a YouTube video called “Showing another therapist Duality.” The channel is called “HeartSupport - Music to Improve Your Mindset” and there is a fundraiser label. The thumbnail shows the band (and the word) Slipknot on the left, as well as the word Duality above them. In the middle is a woman in headphones making some kind of eye-rolling, smug face, and finally there’s a second woman in headphones on the right, looking both furious and hurt, as though a loved one has just betrayed her.
July 31, 2025 at 12:25 AM
fakehappy.monster
Clear right-wing agenda, pro-police bias, furthering the transphobic frenzy: fine, NYT. We all know you’re evil. But this is a whole other fucking level of outrage
The New York Times’ Spelling Bee game, where you must come up with different words using the seven provided letters (and must always include the highlighted letter in the middle). I have submitted the word “thicc,” which meets all the game’s requirements, but I’ve gotten a message reading “Not in word list.” You fucking monsters. You depraved children of shit.
July 22, 2025 at 1:51 PM
fakehappy.monster
In love with this engraving of physicist Georg Wilhelm Richmann being killed by ball lightning while trying to study electricity. (The other guy lived.) Both because it seems like a really mean thing to illustrate, and because they both look like fighting game characters getting knocked backwards
An engraving by artist Camille Gilbert, showing two men in 18th-century gentlemanly garb being knocked backwards by an electrical experiment gone fatally wrong.
July 19, 2025 at 3:18 PM
fakehappy.monster
I don’t recall if this was a Toyota, but I thought the image might be of interest to you all the same. At the time I took the photo I wondered if this was a band, or a “baby on board”-style warning
The right-hand trunk and taillight area of a black sedan. At the bottom of the trunk window is a sticker reading “PRIAPISM” in a white, stenciled typeface.
July 12, 2025 at 3:53 PM
fakehappy.monster
Yet more evidence that Calvin has never given a piece of bad advice in his life
A panel from the Calvin & Hobbes comic strip. Calvin has shoveled the snow from his house’s front stoop all the way around the back of the house before connecting to the driveway (which is only feet from the front stoop). There is an impassibly large pile of snow left directly on the stoop itself, in front of the door. “If you do the job badly enough, sometimes you don’t get asked to do it again,” Calvin explains to Hobbes.
July 6, 2025 at 4:34 PM
fakehappy.monster
is this really the world you want your children to live in, and your children’s children,
Fox News image of “Zohran Mamdani’s Socialist Promises,” with a headshot of Mamdani looking as evil as they could make him (i.,e., just really handsome). I have replaced whatever cool promise they listed with the text “Citywide speakers playing the Bubble Bobble theme 24/7.” It’s a lovely, uplifting tune and I think it would brighten the spirits of all residents
June 28, 2025 at 3:42 PM
fakehappy.monster
Oh. Neat. My dad always liked to bring up how he’d been the Bundys’ paperboy when Ted was a kid. Probably nothing to worry about
Ted Bundy — who confessed to murdering 30 women before being sentenced to death by electric chair in 1989 — moved to Tacoma with his mom when he was just 3, to a neighborhood where smokestacks "filled the air with redolent particulates.
June 21, 2025 at 6:07 PM
fakehappy.monster
The Nice Guys
I Saw the TV Glow
The first three or so Thin Man films
And I will offer my top choice in the form of an image
A slipcase I mocked up for an imaginary and unlikely Criterion release of 1995 smash-hit film Hackers. The cover (front and back) is beautiful, includes suggestions for bonus features, and available for free to Criterion when they get their asses in gear
June 4, 2025 at 11:09 PM
fakehappy.monster
No FUCKIN’ way
Photo of a logging truck on a highway, with a large banner advertising the new Final Destination movie across the back. I’m not sure if this image is real, but it’s brilliant if it is. Easily the most memorable disaster that starts one of these movies is in Final Destination 2, where a log falls off one of these babies on a highway, going right through someone’s windshield and causing a massive, fatal pile-up
May 15, 2025 at 3:02 AM
fakehappy.monster
Thrilled to see that the new He-Man movie will be honoring the universally beloved original by being set in the real world and looking cheap as shit
Camila Mendes as Teela, or at least that’s what her costume makes me think, and some giant himbo as Prince Adam but wearing Earth clothing. The Adam guy is loosely holding an absurd but I guess accurate version of the He-Man sword, but in a way no one would ever hold a sword. They are both staring in confusion at something outside of the shot, as various people in normal clothes mill around behind them. They seem to be in a park in a city. A city that is definitely on Earth. Camila Mendes and the himbo running along the shoulder of a highway or city street, with fencing between them and the person taking this photo. There’s a giant black SUV alongside them. Himbo is still holding the sword as though he has no idea what a sword is, and has a blank expression on his face that suggests the actor is simply responding to a trainer’s commands, with the expectation of a treat if he does it right.
May 10, 2025 at 11:09 PM
fakehappy.monster
Absolutely losing my shit at this editor’s note
Editor's Note: This story has been updated after the new pope's older brother denied reports he is a Cubs fan.
May 9, 2025 at 3:34 AM
fakehappy.monster
Has anyone done this yet
Two panels from Watchmen, though I’ve altered Dr. Manhattan in the second panel to look like he’s wearing a pope outfit. Text reads: Panel 1: MAY, 2025... ... STILL REELING FROM THIS MORNING'S ANNOUNCEMENT, POSSIBLY THE MOST SIGNIFICANT EVENT IN RECENT WORLD HISTORY. WE REPEAT: THE POPE EXISTS! AND HE'S AMERICAN. Panel 2: ACCORDING TO PENTAGON SOURCES, THIS ASTONISHING INDIVIDUAL CAN CONTROL ATOMIC STRUCTURE ITSELF. WE SEE HIM HERE DISMANTLING A RIFLE WITHOUT TOUCHING IT...
May 8, 2025 at 8:48 PM
fakehappy.monster
For people noticing his hands are different colors: Corgan has pretty huge birthmarks that he generally avoids drawing attention to, but see, for instance, the cover art to his solo album TheFutureEmbrace
A very happy Billy Corgan shaking hands with Bozo the Clown
May 6, 2025 at 2:12 AM