i want to draw *well*, but i cannot have expectations that high this early. even if i dismiss drawing it well, that doesn't stop me from getting sidelined with a hundred other questions about what i SHOULD do and what i WANT to do

i am discontent with my current skills. i suck at drawing, and it makes me want to not draw, but i need to draw if i want to get better!!!!! there is no way around it! how do i build up the tolerance for that frustration IF NOT DRAWING???? my only way forward is to trudge through molasses

there is a certain unbridled rage i get when i try so DAMN FUCKING HARD to CONCENTRATE ON DRAWING FOR ONCE IN MY ART-FORSAKEN LIFETIME and start getting all the minute distractions that i would NORMALLY. BE ABLE. TO BRUSH OFF.

i have to make so many compromises to even approximate what i had in mind! i know very little