Enjoy these NSFW memes my ex sent me. I feel seen. #shitmyexsendsme

[Context: I bartend and my wife & I have been poly our entire 15 year relationship]

Customer: You're not married, are you?

Me: Why do you ask?

Customer: Well, I wouldn't want to hit on someone unavailable.

Me: My wife appreciates the sentiment.

*laughs hysterically internally*

I went on a first date a few days ago and briefly considered my old go-to of wearing my shirt that says "Feelings are Boring, Kissing is Awesome" but decided against it. I think that's called growth.

I just realized that working at a bar allows people to do the modern equivalent of "calling on" people and I think that's neat.

Unfortunately, you'll have to do without enjoying a nice mint julep under the watchful eye of my granny in the parlor.

Get tattos that make people regret asking you about them.

Happy belated Pride/Wrath month from this fabulous Okla-homo 😘

❤️🧡💛💚💙💜