@factsaboutzack.bsky.social
Guy no lie I’ve been sweating so bad today that I stink so bad I don’t even want to be near me
July 3, 2025 at 2:46 AM
Guy no lie I’ve been sweating so bad today that I stink so bad I don’t even want to be near me
Dude, I did make pizza. You wanna see pictures?
May 7, 2025 at 2:15 PM
Dude, I did make pizza. You wanna see pictures?
Usually I like orange anything but orange beer is kind of gross.
May 7, 2025 at 2:15 PM
Usually I like orange anything but orange beer is kind of gross.
I’m not much of a bean guy. I think I fart enough.
May 7, 2025 at 2:15 PM
I’m not much of a bean guy. I think I fart enough.
When I have a salad, it has a bunch of cheese and hard boiled eggs on it.
March 19, 2025 at 3:19 PM
When I have a salad, it has a bunch of cheese and hard boiled eggs on it.
I’m carrying hot dogs.
March 19, 2025 at 1:54 AM
I’m carrying hot dogs.
I was watching King of the Hill. It was the episode when Hank is constipated. When he finally pooped, I teared up a little.
March 19, 2025 at 1:53 AM
I was watching King of the Hill. It was the episode when Hank is constipated. When he finally pooped, I teared up a little.
March 14, 2025 at 11:39 PM
Remember Judge Mills Lane? I loved that show; it was amazing.
January 24, 2025 at 11:05 AM
Remember Judge Mills Lane? I loved that show; it was amazing.
I went home and ate hard boiled eggs last night. And pickles. And hot dogs.
January 24, 2025 at 11:04 AM
I went home and ate hard boiled eggs last night. And pickles. And hot dogs.
I just got a tear in my 1,000 thread count sheets. They're purple, they're amazing! Feels like I should be shooting porn.
January 15, 2025 at 5:03 PM
I just got a tear in my 1,000 thread count sheets. They're purple, they're amazing! Feels like I should be shooting porn.
I feel like I have too much hair for a wig.
January 15, 2025 at 5:03 PM
I feel like I have too much hair for a wig.
I used to have purple sheets. They got a big rip in them.
January 3, 2025 at 7:40 AM
I used to have purple sheets. They got a big rip in them.
You know what’s a scary thing? Standing at a urinal and knowing you have to sneeze.
January 3, 2025 at 7:40 AM
You know what’s a scary thing? Standing at a urinal and knowing you have to sneeze.
I haven’t had 5 guys in forever.
December 29, 2024 at 3:35 PM
I haven’t had 5 guys in forever.
I'm gonna be drinking Hawaiian Punch ALL. FUCKING. NIGHT.
December 29, 2024 at 3:35 PM
I'm gonna be drinking Hawaiian Punch ALL. FUCKING. NIGHT.
I tried a new Smart Ones tonight...meatloaf. It was pretty good.
December 29, 2024 at 3:35 PM
I tried a new Smart Ones tonight...meatloaf. It was pretty good.
Do you want to know the name of the body spray I wear? Wolf Thorn.
December 21, 2024 at 1:44 AM
Do you want to know the name of the body spray I wear? Wolf Thorn.
I'm off tomorrow, so it's just gonna be fuckin' tacos and margaritas.
December 21, 2024 at 1:44 AM
I'm off tomorrow, so it's just gonna be fuckin' tacos and margaritas.
I can’t wear bracelet watches…too hairy.
December 15, 2024 at 1:29 AM
I can’t wear bracelet watches…too hairy.
I’m bringing in a bag of jelly beans tomorrow.
December 15, 2024 at 1:29 AM
I’m bringing in a bag of jelly beans tomorrow.
Me: Hey mom...what's that corner of the kitchen by the back door? Where we keep the food?
Mom: You mean the pantry?
Me: Yeah!
Mom: You mean the pantry?
Me: Yeah!
December 10, 2024 at 1:55 AM
Me: Hey mom...what's that corner of the kitchen by the back door? Where we keep the food?
Mom: You mean the pantry?
Me: Yeah!
Mom: You mean the pantry?
Me: Yeah!
I've been wearing the same pants for the last week and a half.
December 9, 2024 at 3:20 AM
I've been wearing the same pants for the last week and a half.
I shouldn't have had that whole Jack's pizza for lunch.
December 7, 2024 at 5:37 PM
I shouldn't have had that whole Jack's pizza for lunch.