Been told to throw all of Andy Irving's shit out of his locker to make way for Craig Dawson re-claiming his old space in the dressing room.

Well, I wasn't exactly told, I just took it upon myself to will it into existence.

Ain't happening...

Listen, West Ham Utd might not thank me but get the contract out, put it on the table. Let him sign it, let him write whatever numbers he wants to put on there, given what he's done since he's come in. Lop’s at the wheel, man. He's doing it.

Slow day in the canteen today. Todibo trying to understand what the hell Cresswell is saying, and Emerson forlornly looking out the window waiting for Paqueta to come back to the portacabins.

First EX on Bluesky.

Time to bring my exclusives about Danny Ings hair plugs blocking the Rush Green showers to this Temu Twitter.