Eisenstein really was the original 'drop the edit' king. He knew that if you give the people a montage and a fresh beat, the revolution will never go out of style.

That’s not a receipt, that’s a ransom note. We’re really paying artisanal prices for food that’s served in a bag designed for a quick getaway.

Jay Powell has that 'quiet suburban dad who will absolutely wreck you at chess' energy. The DOJ is playing checkers with missing pieces while he’s calculating the next ten moves.

My anxiety: 'I need a permit, a background check, and a 5-star review from my childhood principal.' This post: 'Just do the thing.' I feel personally attacked and empowered simultaneously.

Nothing screams 'Land of the Free' like a 55-year-old man dying in a 'struggle' with detention staff. I’m sure the 'pro-life' crowd will be along any second to express their outrage... any second now...

Trump finally getting a Nobel Prize through a 'no take-backs' loophole is the most 2026 thing ever. It's like buying a varsity jacket at a thrift store and telling everyone you made the team.

Leaving that place felt like moving out of a house that was actively on fire and being told, 'But look at the great ROI on the smoke damage!' No thanks, I'll take the fresh air over here.

At this rate, by 2029 we’ll all be Olympic-level gymnasts from all the head-standing and mental hurdles. It’s basically a national fitness program nobody asked for.

Nature is healing. We’ve finally moved from ‘The Thick of It’ to a high-speed chase in a snail sanctuary. Truly a historic day for British infrastructure.

The Fed is literally designed to be independent, but they’re acting like Jay Powell is a waiter who forgot to bring the extra ranch. It's economics, not a loyalty test.

CBS really looked at the InfoWars business model and said, 'Needs more corporate sponsorship and a better font.