A Practical Bar of Expensive Soap
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expensivesoap2.bsky.social
A Practical Bar of Expensive Soap
@expensivesoap2.bsky.social
160 followers 210 following 480 posts
My little side account until these things can go private. This will probably be mostly me posting tangents and other things about video games or whatever that I don't want to have to explain to people who know me in real life.
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expensivesoap2.bsky.social
Into The Storm

A story about Erwin and Lorenz.

2.7K words

Link in the comments.
Lorenz had only seen his father drunk two times. The first was at his aunt's wedding, where his father was celebratory, smiling, and generous with the many tables of food and barrels of wine he provided. The second was after Claude von Riegan was declared Oswald's heir.
October 24, 2025 at 6:08 PM
expensivesoap2.bsky.social
Everyone's favourite duo
A bust-up illustration of Erwin Fritz Gloucester from Fire Emblem Warriors: Three Hopes A headshot of Lorenz Hellman Gloucester from the game Fire Emblem Three Houses
October 24, 2025 at 5:59 PM
expensivesoap2.bsky.social
I feel like all my fics are getting neglected these days as life demands a little more attention, but here is a little (a chunk) more of my Felix/Petra post-Azure Moon piece that I swear I will finish one day. Also featured: two antagonistic characters whose names will likely change.
“We wasn’t going to do anything untoward.” Dirk moved towards Felix slowly, as if he knew he could convince him before it became a fight. “We were just going to break some bones, maybe take a finger or two. Kill her quick after that.” Felix held his sword steady. “She’s obviously too young to have done anything. Let her go, now.” Dirk looked back to Rennal, waiting for his lead. Rennal nodded. Dirk turned his attention back to Felix with a glower, trying his best to be intimidating. “I don’t want to hurt you.” Felix chuckled, “You won’t.” There was only a moment of hesitation before Dirk lunged forward with a wide swing downwards. Felix dodged it easily, slashing the other man's arm as he did. Dirk shouted in anguish as Felix smiled. “You left yourself open. I could have done worse than that if I wanted. Put down your-” Dirk slashed at Felix again with his one good arm. Felix intercepted the blade, sending it to the ground. He levelled his sword with Dirk’s eyes. “Give up.” Dirk looked back to Rennal worriedly. Rennal sighed. “Bit much for a single prisoner, I’d have thought, but if she means that much to you then who am I to say? Not like anyone cared about us before.” He dropped the rope. “My fault for thinking that anyone in the Kingdom was concerned about anyone from Nuvelle territory. May as well be more Hresvelgs.” Felix motioned Dirk to stand beside him before cutting the rope off of Petra’s waist and tying the two men up with it, removing Rennal’s sword and collecting Dirk’s from the ground. “Sit.” He commanded the two men. They both followed his order, sitting down in the mud. “If I so much as imagine I hear either of you following us, I’ll circle back around and gut you both like fish. Understood?” The two men nodded. Dirk was clearly angry, but Rennal still had that smile on his face. He was calculating something, Felix could tell, but there was no dissuading him from that now. Better to get out of town and put the space between them. Once they did that he would have to give up. He turned to Petra. “Sorry about this. I didn’t think…” He cut the rope around her wrists and went to untie the gag. She stepped back, untying herself. Felix could see bruises on her face now. “That is clear.” She spat. Rennal laughed at them. “The girlfriend angry at you?” Felix glared at Rennal before turning back to Petra. “Let’s go.” They both turned back to the main road.
October 8, 2025 at 6:35 PM
expensivesoap2.bsky.social
The wip I'm trying to crush in time for @middleagedfe3h.bsky.social! Seteth and Hanneman discuss whiskey at the end of a very stressful day.
“You can come in, if you like. I don’t believe there’s anything I’m doing which you would find questionable, given the circumstances.” Seteth had been standing at the door wordlessly for almost a full minute, watching him. Ever the researcher, Hanneman had initially been content to observe what he would do without interfering, but the compounding stresses of the day quickly overrode that instinct. “My apologies, I wasn’t aware you knew I was here.” “My request for the floor outside my office to be repaired never went through. It creaks, if you listen closely.” “Ah,” Seteth acknowledged as he stepped inside. “You do know I must ask what you’re doing. After… the events of today I would be failing in my duties if I didn’t at least check in.” He didn’t sit down. Hanneman put the papers he was holding in a nearby box and finally turned around to the other man. Seteth carried himself with a certain dignity, even in his off-hours, but having worked alongside him for so many years Hanneman could easily spot the things that fell between the cracks when he was stressed: a button left undone, stray hairs across his forehead, the weight of his position showing in his eyes. “Please, sit. Would you care for a drink?” Hanneman produced a bottle of whiskey and two glasses from the bottom drawer of his desk. “Have you had this in your office the whole time?” Seteth’s expression turned to shock, “This is a monastery and school, professor, it is inappropriate to keep alcohol in your office.” “I’m sure this isn’t the worst revelation you’ve had about a member of the staff here today,” Hanneman allowed himself a cautious smile. “Anyway, this is a whiskey in the same way that Garreg Mach is just a monastery.
September 24, 2025 at 5:32 PM
expensivesoap2.bsky.social
so my biggest question is whomst da fuck
An enemy unit's face shot from Fire Emblem: Fortune's Weave. Their face is completely blacked out and we cannot see anything identifiable about them, unless I am a fool (which is an established fact)
September 14, 2025 at 4:01 AM
expensivesoap2.bsky.social
Portrait of the artist as a young flan
A selfie of me in a bar's bathroom mirror. Graffiti obscures me. I look very cool and handsome.
September 14, 2025 at 1:55 AM
expensivesoap2.bsky.social
It took 6 hours for my Theodora post to get more likes than my Sylvain recent post did in 2 days. Is this the first instance of Sylvain getting wrecked by a woman from the new game?
My post about Theodora with 33 likes and 11 reposts, followed by my post about Sylvain signing paperwork with the cool ess. It has 32 likes and ten reposts.
September 13, 2025 at 12:40 AM
expensivesoap2.bsky.social
I've only got the one so you're seeing Weapons again, even if I put it out there recently.

archiveofourown.org/works/69917576
Dedue's face hardened again, "His Majesty has allowed me the opportunity to reforge myself here. The chance to better repay my life debt to him is all that motivates me now." Edelgard frowned, despite herself, "There is truly nothing you want, then?" For a moment, their eyes met. Edelgard tried to peer into the man to see what he may reveal about himself, but he looked away before she could get in. He turned his head to the sky, determining the position of the sun. His face softened once again, the answer on his lips but his voice afraid to make it real.
September 12, 2025 at 5:30 PM
expensivesoap2.bsky.social
Look I know this character design is set up for someone to say it, so I will take this bullet for us all: I can't wait until Theodora murders me in 2026.
Theodora from Fire Emblem Fortune's Weave, being carried what looks to be a palanquin. She is sitting informally, but has a very serious look on her face.
September 12, 2025 at 4:35 PM
expensivesoap2.bsky.social
ummmmm

Hands On.

Hubert and Bernadetta secretly get each other off in the back of a carriage. Edelgard and Byleth are there too. Importantly, so is Constance.

It includes sex magic, handjobs, and red wine. And Constance. NSFW, unless you have a really cool job.
Hands On by Expensive Soap Summary: Bernadetta and Hubert try to get each other off in the back of a carriage. It can't all be high art.
September 11, 2025 at 6:14 PM
expensivesoap2.bsky.social
Thinking of my favourite guy from up north with an uncommon hairstyle and affinity for blades... He crushes on redheads and has a mean nickname for a leader he doesn't like... That's right, James Howlett aka Wolverine of the X-Men.
A picture of Felix Hugo Fraldarius. What a dumb joke, I love it.
September 10, 2025 at 7:39 PM
expensivesoap2.bsky.social
I know I've already plugged this one recently, but Fire On The Plains has definitely been overshadowed by every other thing I've written. Still, it's a special one to me, constantly on the edge of my mind and waiting for me to fill it out a little more. One day.
Fire On The Plains by Expensive Soap Summary: Lorenz, fed up with the insular world of Leicester politics, reaches out to Adrestia. The hand that takes his may pull him into more trouble than he ever anticipated.
September 8, 2025 at 7:31 PM
expensivesoap2.bsky.social
HBD Petra Macneary! You're one of the most interesting characters in a game full of them. I am celebrating by getting back into the longfic I occasionally whisper cryptically about. Here are some pieces of the first chapter to keep me honest.
No Tame Beasts Chapter One – Two Princesses The fields and orchards of the Hresvelg territories were bountiful, and as spring turned to summer even a gentle breeze would be heavy with the scent of various fruits with it the air. Petra breathed deeply, her head sticking out the open window of the carriage. She felt the warmth of the sun on her face, could hear the workers talking and laughing in the distance. If she closed her eyes it was almost like being back in Brigid. Her smile could barely contain itself. How easy would it be to jump out of the carriage and run wild through the fruit trees? “Back to reality, Petra. A lady would sit with her back straight and her hands folded.” The duke’s voice pulled her back into the carriage. He hadn’t looked up from his book. “Naʻa ke maʻu ia.” Petra sat down in her seat, careful not to let her disappointment show. “No Brigid. You will impress our hosts with your mastery of the Fodlan tongue and grammar. Now, again.” “Yes, Duke Gerth.” “Much better.” Petra looked out the window to the sun-covered fields and wondered what language the workers spoke as she played mindlessly with her skirt. After a few more minutes of silence Duke Gerth placed his bookmark inside his book and put it aside. “Now, Petra, I understand that you are excited to meet the Imperial family, but it is important to mind decorum. After all, it wouldn’t do to have your first impression be one that only confirms to them that the Brigid people can’t control their passions, correct?” Petra nodded. “Do you remember what to say when you meet the Emperor?” Petra took a deep breath. “Good afternoon, Your Imperial Majesty. I am having much happiness to be meeting you.” Her accent still wanted to shape the soft Adrestian vowels into something leaner than they sounded from the mouths of everyone else on this continent. “Close, I am happy to meet you. Once more.” “Good afternoon, Your Imperial Majesty. I am happy to meet you.” “Excellent, very well done! You’ll surely impress them. Not many people think as highly of the Brigid people as I do these days. Your work here will surely show the Emperor that you are not barbarians, but are quite equal to the Adrestian people. Think of this as your first act as Queen of Brigid.” A bolt of pride ran through her. She could prove herself. She could speak their language to them just as well as they could, and the Emperor would be so impressed that he would have to acknowledge that the people of Brigid could stand on their own. “This is the Brigid Princess I mentioned I would be bringing with me, your Majesty. I thought it would be beneficial for her to meet you.” The Emperor turned to her, looking at her face but not in her eyes. “Greetings, Princess of Brigid.” “Good afternoon, Your Imperial Majesty. I am happy to meet you.” Perfect. The Emperor turned back to Gerth. “Now, we have much to discuss. Edelgard, please entertain the Brigid Princess for the afternoon.” The two adults walked to the door. “Of course, father.” The teenager stepped forward. Petra had heard the news along with the rest of the country – Edelgard was the last surviving child of Ionius after a terrible disease killed every other child in the royal family. The girl standing before her was too skinny, her skin too sunken, even after all this time since she had been sick. Petra could only imagine what she had gone through for her hair to be that colour. Still, there was life behind her eyes. Something was there. She curtsied at the other girl politely. “Your majesty, I am happy to meet you.” Edelgard bowed. “The pleasure is all mine, Princess Petra. Might we start with tea and a light snack?” She asked flatly. “I’m sure you are most famished after your travels. What better way for the two future rulers of our respective countries to have their first meeting? Perhaps the historians will write of this day as being a critical juncture in our shared history.” Despite the controlled tone of Edelgard’s voice her eyes were scanning Petra like one animal circling another, trying to determine if it was the hunter or hunted. Petra smiled. “I would be… I would enjoy that greatly. Apologies, I would be greatly enjoying…” Her smile broke and she swallowed. “Apologies, please. This is something that I… It would be pleasing…” Edelgard gave her a quizzical look as tears started to well behind Petra’s eyes, her panic causing her to fumble everything she had learned. I am failing my country. Unlike the previous clips, this one shows the end of a sentence Edelgard was speaking. The part before was cleverly cut off by me to create tension with the reader. Anyway, here's the dialogue: Do you understand?” Petra nodded. She wasn’t sure if she did understand the other princess’ concern, but better to show that she could keep up. At the very least, she understood how to be what others wanted. “I am… offering a most humbled apology, Princess Edelgard.” Petra sniffed, wiping the tear from her chin. She took her frustration and embarrassment and boxed them away inside herself. There would be time for that later. If Edelgard had truly managed to fight her way through her own mysterious circumstances, she would be able to as well. “You… that is not necessary, but thank you nonetheless. Now come, they may be suspicious if we do not make an appearance soon.” “I will not be letting go of your trust, Lady Edelgard. You will be seeing me impress you with my strength and capability.” The older girl smiled. “I’m sure I have not misplaced my faith. Now, follow me.” Edelgard opened the ornate door nearby and walked into the hallway. “I would be most delighted if you were to sample some of our jams. The staff make them from the fruits from the nearby fields.” Petra could see the mask Edelgard’s smile created. She would wear the same one. “That would… be most pleasant, Lady Edelgard. Please… please lead the way.” Perfect.
September 7, 2025 at 7:39 PM
expensivesoap2.bsky.social
Ingrid and Petra, two outsiders for vastly different reasons. One of the first fics I ever wrote was 10.5k words about them, still my longest piece:
archiveofourown.org/works/531549...

As much as I love Dorothea, she is not there to help make things healthier.
Never Be Lost by Expensive Soap. Summary: Loyalty can reshape the world like fire, love, or a blade in the dark.
September 3, 2025 at 5:47 PM
expensivesoap2.bsky.social
I'm finally participating in a fan event! Here is something for Edelgard Rarepair Week 2025 #EdelgardRarepair

Weapons.

Edelgard & Dedue.

archiveofourown.org/works/69917576
Weapons, by Expensive Soap. Summary: Edelgard goes to the training ground of Garreg Mach, and this time there is someone unfamiliar training beside her. He considered her offer for a moment, then squared his feet, preparing his stance, "You are the Adrestian princess, correct? Dimitri was sure to point you out when we first arrived at the monastery." "Then you have me at a disadvantage," she readied the grip on her axe. "Forgive me, we met only in passing on the first day at the academy." "Dedue," he replied. "Are you prepared?"
August 28, 2025 at 12:05 AM
expensivesoap2.bsky.social
I love that Setsuna's whole thing is falling into every trap but it not bothering her that much. She has one gimmick and no worries.
A portrait of Setsuna from Fire Emblem: Heroes
August 3, 2025 at 3:15 AM
expensivesoap2.bsky.social
I've always wanted to do one of these but always forget to look out for them on the day! Anyway, here's a slice of the Felix/Petra post-AM story I've been keeping on a low boil for the last few months.
“Officially you’re dead, and it’s been decreed that any Brigid warriors in Fodlan who haven’t surrendered are to be considered enemy combatants. Being a prisoner is the best you can hope for right now.” “I do not recognize your king or his laws.” She growled at him. “I know,” he sighed, “but this isn’t Kingdom law. It came from Brigid.” Petra stopped struggling, staring at him in disbelief. “My grandfather would never decree that.” “Maybe not. But your sister would.” Petra considered her next words. “You lie.” “You’ve been keeping your head down too long.” He kicked her sword away and helped her to her feet. “Now, either come with me willingly or I’ll have to kill you right here.” He hoped she wouldn't see through his lie. She stood still, eyeing Felix like a raptor. Felix sheathed his sword. “Her weapon’s yours.” He spoke to the innkeeper. “Sell it and maybe you can get the gold to keep this rotten place open another month or two.” He put his hand on Petra’s shoulder and led her out the door.
July 30, 2025 at 6:17 PM
expensivesoap2.bsky.social
4) He showed up to the first battle without his axe and I'll love him forever for it
An image of Vaike from Fire Emblem Awakening.
July 29, 2025 at 10:01 PM
expensivesoap2.bsky.social
Hell yeah I'll jump on a trend to avoid working
A 1 like equals 1 answer image about the Fire emblem series. There are 30 prompts.
July 29, 2025 at 7:43 PM
expensivesoap2.bsky.social
I've written a few things, I will take this and run with it
A tumblr text post titled Let's Play Writers Would You Ever The body of the goes like this: Send me an ask that says "Would you ever write..." and continue the sentence. I'll respond yees or no and give an explanation as to why if I want to.
July 27, 2025 at 5:47 AM
expensivesoap2.bsky.social
Trends
A text image that says "Tell me a video game name and I'm going to tell you my honest opinion about it"
July 25, 2025 at 6:58 PM
expensivesoap2.bsky.social
Sometimes people leave comments on my fics that are paragraphs long, going over what they loved in so much detail, and those are always great! Sometimes, however, someone comes in with a short comment that let's you know what you did hit them just right.
An AO3 comment that says only the following: "Fuck dude... this is incredible." The image has been edited so their identity is hidden.
July 10, 2025 at 6:09 PM
expensivesoap2.bsky.social
have 200 words of a WIP on this, a Wednesday. Edelgard and Dedue talk about axes.
"You know how to handle an axe. You must have trained from quite a young age." Edelgard spoke between heavy breaths after their mock fight, sitting down on the dirt beside Dedue. He shook his head, beads of sweat running down his face. "Not extensively. My father was a blacksmith. He trained me in any weapon that could be forged, but nothing that would be comparable to a proper education with a weapon. It wasn't until Prince Dimitri took me in that my training began in earnest." "The axe was a natural fit for you, it seems." "Perhaps. At the time I wanted to train with a lance, but outside forces prevented that from happening." "Outside forces?" Edelgard cocked an eyebrow. "Prince Dimitri initially allowed me to choose my own path. I chose the lance to better emulate him. When members of the nobility learned…" He let the sentence hang unfinished, "Faerghus puts great importance on the significance of weapons. It was felt that the lance should be reserved for members of the nobility and the axe was a better choice for me to train with." "The weapon of a front line soldier," Edelgard said softly. Dedue grunted an acknowledgment.
July 2, 2025 at 10:15 PM
expensivesoap2.bsky.social
Text quote from the work in progress. It is about Seteth and Hanneman from Fire Emblem three houses and the screenshot starts in the middle of some dialogue. It begins here:" "They were considered rebellious trailblazers back in the day, now they are considered the finest producers of brandy in Fodlan and have become the standard other companies go by.” Hanneman poured two glasses. “I insist you try it.” Seteth considered for a moment before the slightest smile formed at the edge of his mouth. “You know, if Rhea saw us doing this right now she’d have both our heads.” He took one of the glasses. The two men clinked their glasses and took a sip.
July 2, 2025 at 2:23 AM
expensivesoap2.bsky.social
came to me in a vision and I had to make the lowest quality version of it for his birthday.
An instagram post with the user's name edited out. The text reads "I sold a rug to someone on marketplace and they just sent me this picture with the message little man is chuffed." The image shows a small space meant for a rabbit, including food, water, some hay, a litter box, a little place for them to hide (I can't think of the name of it, sorry), and a bed that looks like a bed a human would use, except rabbit-sized. This is all on the rug that was sold to them. Additionally, a picture of Caspar from Fire Emblem Three Houses has been placed on top of the rabbit in the picture, making it look like Caspar has a small living space.
July 1, 2025 at 8:12 PM