Me trying to lie to my colonoscopist, he replies: YOU'RE FULL OF SHIT
November 19, 2025 at 8:15 PM
Me trying to lie to my colonoscopist, he replies: YOU'RE FULL OF SHIT
I had a calming thought today:
for every problem I have, there's a million I don't... and god those motherfuckers better stay in their lane
for every problem I have, there's a million I don't... and god those motherfuckers better stay in their lane
November 11, 2025 at 7:31 PM
I had a calming thought today:
for every problem I have, there's a million I don't... and god those motherfuckers better stay in their lane
for every problem I have, there's a million I don't... and god those motherfuckers better stay in their lane
What do you call two polynomials with opposite middle signs, who happen to be detained in prison, fucking and making a higher order polynomial baby?
A conjugate visit.
A conjugate visit.
November 3, 2025 at 10:23 PM
What do you call two polynomials with opposite middle signs, who happen to be detained in prison, fucking and making a higher order polynomial baby?
A conjugate visit.
A conjugate visit.
Guys help I fear my humour is too intellectual for the world about to come
November 3, 2025 at 10:19 PM
Guys help I fear my humour is too intellectual for the world about to come
You can't match my freak (I am an amorphous cosmic monster)
November 1, 2025 at 9:17 PM
You can't match my freak (I am an amorphous cosmic monster)
HEAR ME OUT ; SHOVELS SHAPED LIKE SPOONS?
October 31, 2025 at 2:33 PM
HEAR ME OUT ; SHOVELS SHAPED LIKE SPOONS?
Imagine a room with four 45° corners. I'm uncomfortable.
October 30, 2025 at 6:35 AM
Imagine a room with four 45° corners. I'm uncomfortable.
*picture of me holding a book* hey guys I'm reading this
(he gets to page 36 and never picks up the book again)
(he gets to page 36 and never picks up the book again)
October 25, 2025 at 9:00 AM
*picture of me holding a book* hey guys I'm reading this
(he gets to page 36 and never picks up the book again)
(he gets to page 36 and never picks up the book again)
October 24, 2025 at 4:40 PM
Sandwiches are great because they're both a meal AND a treat
October 12, 2025 at 7:11 AM
Sandwiches are great because they're both a meal AND a treat
THIS JUST IN: gamer beats a game designed to be beat
October 5, 2025 at 7:30 PM
THIS JUST IN: gamer beats a game designed to be beat
October 5, 2025 at 9:23 AM
I know if I had 10000 more followers, at least 2 people would like my tweets.
October 4, 2025 at 9:50 AM
I know if I had 10000 more followers, at least 2 people would like my tweets.
I got sick once, and let me tell you, no amount of bananas helped me. I ate a lot of bananas. An ungodly number.
October 3, 2025 at 8:04 AM
I got sick once, and let me tell you, no amount of bananas helped me. I ate a lot of bananas. An ungodly number.
Hey, I made a thing! It's a shott video discussing Silksong's difficult. If you check it out I'll give you a high five:D
youtu.be/JmkXJFF1uyE?...
youtu.be/JmkXJFF1uyE?...
5 Real Problems with Silksong's Difficulty
YouTube video by Eufuu
youtu.be
September 20, 2025 at 8:52 AM
Hey, I made a thing! It's a shott video discussing Silksong's difficult. If you check it out I'll give you a high five:D
youtu.be/JmkXJFF1uyE?...
youtu.be/JmkXJFF1uyE?...
Curiosity is the meal of a yearning mind. Food for our intellectual hunger. A remedy for anxious thoughts. Nutrition, required for human advancement.
But feed it trash and it becomes the venom of truth.
But feed it trash and it becomes the venom of truth.
September 17, 2025 at 3:48 PM
Curiosity is the meal of a yearning mind. Food for our intellectual hunger. A remedy for anxious thoughts. Nutrition, required for human advancement.
But feed it trash and it becomes the venom of truth.
But feed it trash and it becomes the venom of truth.
I feel a very carnal pleasure biting into a candy bar, stripping it of its wrap, and through sheer mouth dexterity, eating it without it ever touching my fingers.
September 5, 2025 at 8:55 AM
I feel a very carnal pleasure biting into a candy bar, stripping it of its wrap, and through sheer mouth dexterity, eating it without it ever touching my fingers.
In amount of Oreos, how many a day would you consider a "healthy amount?"
As in, all sweets you're allowed to eat are Oreos. At which number do you say "oh that's just about my limit" health-wise?
As in, all sweets you're allowed to eat are Oreos. At which number do you say "oh that's just about my limit" health-wise?
August 30, 2025 at 5:10 PM
In amount of Oreos, how many a day would you consider a "healthy amount?"
As in, all sweets you're allowed to eat are Oreos. At which number do you say "oh that's just about my limit" health-wise?
As in, all sweets you're allowed to eat are Oreos. At which number do you say "oh that's just about my limit" health-wise?
ROGUE PRINCE OF PERSIA SLAPS ???? HELLO
August 20, 2025 at 9:18 PM
ROGUE PRINCE OF PERSIA SLAPS ???? HELLO
It makes me sad some people consider fish more akin to sea vegetable than animal
August 18, 2025 at 9:02 PM
It makes me sad some people consider fish more akin to sea vegetable than animal
Brave to show the sides you dislike about yourself - you may never learn to like them, but at least now someone gets a chance to love them.
July 28, 2025 at 8:30 PM
Brave to show the sides you dislike about yourself - you may never learn to like them, but at least now someone gets a chance to love them.
I'm SUCH a control freak I turn auto screen brightness OFF. Only I CONTROL how bright you are, little phone
July 23, 2025 at 7:16 PM
I'm SUCH a control freak I turn auto screen brightness OFF. Only I CONTROL how bright you are, little phone
I knew if I said more obvious things, I would get waaaaay more likes.
So I don't.
I quagmire everyone who is good at escaping ill-defined perilous situations.
So I don't.
I quagmire everyone who is good at escaping ill-defined perilous situations.
July 17, 2025 at 2:54 PM
I knew if I said more obvious things, I would get waaaaay more likes.
So I don't.
I quagmire everyone who is good at escaping ill-defined perilous situations.
So I don't.
I quagmire everyone who is good at escaping ill-defined perilous situations.
Literally felt depressed until I remembered Bluesky exists and I can pop off a tweet into the ether
July 16, 2025 at 5:47 PM
Literally felt depressed until I remembered Bluesky exists and I can pop off a tweet into the ether