"Did you see who Thrak got for her Quinceasñarea? Brog the Merciless! He is legend!"

"She's so lucky. My parents had to hire Doug the Discount Dungeon Delver. His armor was made of spray painted pizza boxes."

Oftentimes it's an old family friend/foe the parents met in their dungeon careers. Richer families use the adventurers as an excuse to flaunt wealth and influence:

The ritual was borne out of the need to protect the tribe, but in modern times the practice is largely ceremonial and an excuse for a party. Families hire adventurers to become the trap's first "victim."

(I hear you. "Why not 'Quinceasñareya?' Because it's half a pun too far and doesn't look as clean on the page.)

BREAKING NEWS: BUS DRIVER STOPS BUS TO PRAY IT REACHES ITS DESTINATION

I need it in my brain!

I hate it for being a bleak, pathetic attempt at commentary on post-9/11 militarization. I hate it for its blatant callbacks that are there as scraps fed backhandedly to franchise fans. I hate it because so much of it recycles the action and emotional beats of the first movie.

I fucking hate STID.

I’ll go with 1. I think they did develop it, but that it’s unsuitable for building purposes. I can believe 3 in that at least one study reported these findings, and for 2, I’ll believe black holes can do just about anything thanks to a steady diet of sci fi.

Gutting. The only word I have for it is gutting.

Let's go NATO Phonetic Alphabet with it: Gen Bravo! They're going to need the encouragement.

I can’t. I’m too craven.

When I first got my smart watch, I felt stupid for having the day of the week displayed with the date.

Now I don’t. I need that almost daily.