a good friend will bail you out of jail… a best friend will be sitting next to you saying “damn - i should have never let you convince me to do the DC sniper shootings. but then again i am only 17 and you are like a father figure to me john Allen Muhammad”

fulfilling my resolution to further my education and saving money? count me in

women get insanely turned on when you talk about DEI

*kanye getting into bed after a long day at work*

bianca: i’m sorry you had an exhausting day honey. i appreciate everything you do for our family
kanye: i’m so lucky to have you. i love you

i don’t care if my newborn says “mama” or “dada” first - as long as he doesn’t say the n- word

they should make coffee for straight people

i tried playing the joe rogan experience instead of white noise for my baby and he started floating above his crib

watching your wife give birth will have you thinking twice about searching for “milf pussy”

god in heaven sculpting man and woman in his image: “methinks i will now make the clitoral hood”

my plan is to mostly be posting about the hawk tuah girl and her various new media ventures