Grandma is probably going to be dead in the next month or so because of the dementia progressing to the final stage.

Mom’s health isn’t doing too good.

Stepdad has dementia and is in assisted living now.

My cat who’s still with the family is being put down because of illness due to old age.

This time? I’m calm. I’m screaming internally but nothing is coming out. I’m not sure if this is a delayed reaction from the Thanksgiving visit or I’ve just been masked up and trying to pretend everything is alright for so long that things have finally slipped when I’ve least expected it.

I'm just fucking exhausted.

I've spent so much time trying to fix all of the things that have been done to me since I was a kid up until just a few years ago, but for what? I'm 39 next week and what the fuck do I have to show for it?

I struggle to find the happiness that other people come to find naturally and easily.