erinmargrethe
LightNews LightNews
erinmargrethe.bsky.social
erinmargrethe
@erinmargrethe.bsky.social
210 followers 140 following 440 posts
I scrub feet for money and wipe my dog’s ass for free
Melbourne, AU
Posts Replies Media Videos
erinmargrethe.bsky.social
Even though we’re leaving tomorrow I had to get our only Xmas decoration out for the house sitter. Legendary gift from @anythingsynth.bsky.social and @mssrah.bsky.social
Ross holding a red cushion silkscreened with the image of Alan Rickman falling off the building in Die Hard and the words “BEST CHRISTMAS HANS DOWN”
December 14, 2025 at 3:12 AM
erinmargrethe.bsky.social
I’m not a Christmas card person, but I got one for our next door neighbours who are always amazing, but have been above and beyond supportive these last couple of shitty months. Also, they love Xmas while I am a Grinch. (I will write a sincere message inside it, but I couldn’t resist being…cheeky)
This is a humorous Christmas greeting card with a playful, slightly cheeky design. Overall layout & colours    •   The card is cream/ivory coloured with scattered pale blue snowflakes and dots.    •   A red card backing or envelope is visible behind it, framing the left edge.    •   The style is cartoonish and festive. Text    •   At the top, in green cursive script, it reads: “Wishing You Nothing”    •   In the centre, the word “BUTT” appears in large, bold red block letters, decorated with small white snow details.    •   Near the bottom, again in green cursive script, it reads: “A Merry Christmas” Illustration    •   Across the middle is a row of four cartoon figures shown from behind, all facing away: 1. Santa Claus on the far left, bent slightly forward, with a round exposed backside beneath his red suit. 2. A small gnome or elf wearing a red pointed hat and green outfit, also showing a bare cartoon backside. 3. A snowman wearing a black hat and scarf, with jeans pulled down to reveal a rounded backside. 4. A reindeer on the far right, tail raised, with its rear facing the viewer.    •   All four characters are standing on a patch of snow. Tone    •   The card uses visual wordplay (“nothing BUTT”) and exaggerated cartoon backsides for a light-hearted, cheeky adult-humour Christmas joke rather than a traditional sentimental card.
December 13, 2025 at 11:10 PM
erinmargrethe.bsky.social
So, we have to go on a cruise next week. I went online to see why it’s gonna be like. This does not make me hate it 😂
December 8, 2025 at 2:20 AM
erinmargrethe.bsky.social
Hey Australian travel agents, maybe pick a different acronym for this one, mmmkay? 🫣
From paperwork from an Australian travel agent for a cruise to New Zealand: IN CASE OF EMERGENCY (ICE) As part of ensuring your safety and peace of mind during your travels, we kindly request that you provide us with details for your In Case of Emergency (ICE) contact. This information is crucial as it authorises someone you trust to act on your behalf in situations that require immediate attention, without disclosing any financial details. Please take a moment to provide us with the name and contact number of your designated ICE contact. Rest assured, this information will only be used in emergency situations and will remain strictly confidential.
December 6, 2025 at 7:59 AM
erinmargrethe.bsky.social
Hitch’s new frisbee- which he’s had all of 3 days- just ended up with Pennywise thanks to my elite throwing skillz.
Very sad white French bulldog looking through a sewer grate at his lost frisbee Close up of the sad dog and his lost frisbee through the grate
November 6, 2025 at 6:44 AM
erinmargrethe.bsky.social
My first rose of the season
Side view of 3/4 open pink and cream rose View from the top of the same pink and cream rose
October 11, 2025 at 2:32 AM
erinmargrethe.bsky.social
@rossfloate.bsky.social home at last ❤️
A boy and his dog reunited
October 7, 2025 at 9:44 AM
erinmargrethe.bsky.social
October 5, 2025 at 12:45 PM
erinmargrethe.bsky.social
Telling my sister shit she does not remember about Mom (and mom might not even remember at this stage 😬)
Screenshot of messages from me: You prob don’t remember when I was home for a visit and we were talking to mom about music and she was like “I liked that band with the banana on the album cover” And I was like “you mean The Velvet Underground?” And I played Sunday Morning and I’m Waiting For The Man and mom’s like yeah, that’s it! I mean, first of all, that’s pretty impressive for someone who was into The Beatles and the Beach Boys back in the day, but also she told me she hung out with a bunch of junkies in high school (and she didn’t know they were junkies- same thing happened to me, I get it). But the music choice says it all 😂
October 5, 2025 at 12:44 PM
erinmargrethe.bsky.social
Put the dog’s pool out yesterday and the magpies were well pleased
October 4, 2025 at 11:01 PM
erinmargrethe.bsky.social
Me neighbour walked Hitch today (with his dog) and I had no idea
Text messages: Neighbour: Hitch had a lot of fun with his walk this afternoon. Did he need any other this week? Me: Oh did he go out?? I got home around 4:15/4:30 and he acted like he'd been locked in a cage all day [crying laughing emojis] Took him for a massive walk! What a little fucking actor!
October 1, 2025 at 9:08 AM
erinmargrethe.bsky.social
This is from more than 10 years ago
September 14, 2025 at 7:08 AM
erinmargrethe.bsky.social
My cousin telling me about a band playing at a local event in Fresno
Screenshot of a message reading “It wasa cover of Mustang Sally sung like It was a two hour lecture on fiduciary derivatives given by someone who had been briefed on the topic 10 minutes before. Also they’d taken a bottle of Ambien.”
September 14, 2025 at 3:45 AM
erinmargrethe.bsky.social
What. A. Birthday. ❤️
Thank you, @rossfloate.bsky.social !
September 5, 2025 at 7:22 AM
erinmargrethe.bsky.social
Decided on a new perspective
September 4, 2025 at 4:22 AM
erinmargrethe.bsky.social
I just don’t know if I can handle 7 more days of this.
View from a lounge chair by an infinity pool overlooking a coastal landscape (Ko Samui, Thailand). A pair of legs are stretched out in the foreground, with sun loungers and umbrellas lined up on the left side. Beyond the pool, there are rolling hills, scattered houses, and the ocean under a cloudy sky.
September 4, 2025 at 4:09 AM
erinmargrethe.bsky.social
This will do nicely. Good to be back, Ko Samui 🇹🇭🌴
View from a lounge chair by an infinity pool overlooking a coastal landscape. A pair of legs are stretched out in the foreground, with sun loungers and umbrellas lined up on the left side. Beyond the pool, there are rolling hills, scattered houses, and the ocean under a cloudy sky.
September 3, 2025 at 3:28 AM
erinmargrethe.bsky.social
Checked in, bags dropped, let’s go to Thailand and turn 50, bitches
A glass of sparkling wine in a very ordinary airport bar in Melbourne, Australia
September 2, 2025 at 9:09 AM
erinmargrethe.bsky.social
He’s staring at me like he knows we’re leaving for Thailand in a few days. How does he know????
August 30, 2025 at 6:53 AM
erinmargrethe.bsky.social
I sent this to my cousin back home in California and I knew exactly what he would comment on so I got ahead of it
Screenshot of message “He’s such a good boy 😭 Also, I sound so Australian when I’m talking to him “wiiiiaayte…gooooid bowieyyy””
August 28, 2025 at 9:04 AM
erinmargrethe.bsky.social
The trick to feeding your dog people food is to give them bits smaller than your little fingernail. They can’t tell the difference between a human size bite and a speck. They’re just happy you’re giving them food.
August 28, 2025 at 9:01 AM
erinmargrethe.bsky.social
Old mate Gwyneth “I wish you well”Paltrow’d her - in true Christian pass-agg fashion. I love it.
Victim impact statement from Ian Wilkerson during the mushroom trial pre-sentencing “I bear her no ill will. My prayer for her is that she will use her time in jail wisely to become a better person. Now I am no longer Erin Patterson’s victim and she has become the victim of my kindness”. *mic drop*
August 25, 2025 at 8:02 AM
erinmargrethe.bsky.social
Someday this little old gremiln won’t be snoring in the bed next to me, so I’m just appreciating the crap out of this moment right now (sound on for puppy snores)
😴💤 ❤️
August 24, 2025 at 2:51 PM
erinmargrethe.bsky.social
Found deep in my closet. Are they still making these monstrosities or are they some kind of vintage prize now? Those bottoms had the worst crotch fit. Flaps ahoy.
Two neoprene bikinis by the brand Triangle. One is turquoise and black, the other is purple, orange, turquoise, and black. The gussets on the bikini bottoms are cut too narrow to contain an average human vulva.
August 24, 2025 at 7:13 AM
erinmargrethe.bsky.social
Could you ask for a better friend/dogsitter?
screenshot of text “also I better warn you they do bush kinder here and it’s starting to look very Blair Witch Project” with a photo of a white French bulldog in front of a very strange little sculpture of sticks in a nature reserve about 8km from the city of Melbourne
August 19, 2025 at 7:39 AM