It's difficult to move past my own indignation over my emotions and desires. Angry at myself and also angry that I'm angry. I keep thinking in circles and it's making me dizzy.

I think I'm the only one I can never imagine happily in love, you know? I'm too neurotic for this.

I feel very secure in my masculinity but only when I'm around women lmao. When I'm around men, I feel like I cannot fit in. I'm sure a lot of queer men feel that way though.

Being gay is funny because I see a hot guy and it makes me feel inferior and also attracted. You know?

I guess straight people could feel that way maybe? But it's not typically like theyre directly comparing themselves to the people they're attracted to.

Well I say that, but I filter my thoughts heavily even in my journal. I should try to get worse.

I feel worried now. Haha...
I'll stay indoors I think.

Although you cannot help but notice it when a tall person stands close to you, right? Maybe it'll be more fresh if I say "become short, my neck hurts already".

Ah that's probably more annoying than just saying "so tall", I guess. But it is fresh right?

Emotions are tricky because there is no cure. Wishing them away also does nothing. Treating the symptoms and addressing the root causes may only help you live with them. Which is, fine. It's fine.