Chest Rockwell
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enrique-shockwave.bsky.social
Chest Rockwell
@enrique-shockwave.bsky.social
C is for cookie... & that's good enough for me.
Did you hear the joke about the world’s worst thesaurus?
Not only is it terrible, it’s terrible.
June 25, 2025 at 6:19 PM
I’ve begun to invest heavily in stocks. Beef, chicken and vegetable.
One day I hope to be a bouillonaire!
June 25, 2025 at 1:05 AM
The CEO of IKEA has become the prime minister of Sweden.
He is currently assembling his cabinet.
June 23, 2025 at 3:33 PM
I watched a documentary about U-Haul last night on Netflix.
I thought it was genuinely moving.
June 22, 2025 at 8:01 PM
A photon walks up to an airline counter to buy a ticket, and the clerk asks, “Any baggage to check?”
The photon replies, “No, I’m traveling light.”
June 22, 2025 at 12:45 AM
My wife threatened to leave me, so I took her crutches...
It's satisfying to see she always crawls back to me.
June 22, 2025 at 12:45 AM
I met a guy who raced cars...
"Do you win" I asked, "No, the cars are much faster" he said.
June 20, 2025 at 3:24 AM
I am reading a book called “The History of Lubricants.”
It’s non-friction.
June 18, 2025 at 4:44 PM
I asked the librarian if the library had books on paranoia.
She whispered, “They’re right behind you.”
June 17, 2025 at 2:30 PM
Just got fired from my job at the ice cream factory…
...I refuse to work on sundaes
June 16, 2025 at 2:35 AM
100 hundred years ago, two brothers claimed they could fly
They were Wright
June 15, 2025 at 1:29 AM
What do you call a female sniper?
Amy!
June 13, 2025 at 6:22 PM
I called the tinnitus hotline,
It just kept ringing...
June 12, 2025 at 7:12 PM
My Wife asked me why I never buy her flowers...
I didn't even know she sold flowers!
June 11, 2025 at 8:31 PM
I've only been working at the bicycle factory for a week.
They've already made me the spokes person.
June 10, 2025 at 6:27 PM
How do you think the unthinkable?
With an ithe berg.
June 9, 2025 at 6:19 PM
My wife and I were cuddling last night when she said, "Show me a good time."
So I stepped outside and ran an eleven-second 100m sprint.
June 9, 2025 at 12:56 AM
Sadly, the inventor of the throat lozenge has died.
There will be no coffin at his funeral.
June 7, 2025 at 9:08 PM
What do you call a cow that's given birth?
Decaffeinated.
June 6, 2025 at 4:47 PM
I got a free air guitar...
No strings attached.
June 5, 2025 at 5:22 PM
My wife got mad at me because I keep using bird puns.
Well, toucan play at that game...
June 4, 2025 at 5:16 PM
What kind of bears live at both the North & South Pole?
Bipolar bears...
June 3, 2025 at 6:28 PM
Everyone knows Alan Turing, who cracked Enigma codes.
But nobody knows his sister Kay, who provided drinks, snacks and sandwiches for him and his colleagues...
June 2, 2025 at 5:33 PM
I hate when people use double negatives.
It's a big no-no.
June 1, 2025 at 10:19 PM
Why did the pediatrician always lose his temper?
Because he has little patients.
June 1, 2025 at 10:19 PM