Chest Rockwell
@enrique-shockwave.bsky.social
C is for cookie... & that's good enough for me.
Did you hear the joke about the world’s worst thesaurus?
Not only is it terrible, it’s terrible.
Not only is it terrible, it’s terrible.
June 25, 2025 at 6:19 PM
Did you hear the joke about the world’s worst thesaurus?
Not only is it terrible, it’s terrible.
Not only is it terrible, it’s terrible.
I’ve begun to invest heavily in stocks. Beef, chicken and vegetable.
One day I hope to be a bouillonaire!
One day I hope to be a bouillonaire!
June 25, 2025 at 1:05 AM
I’ve begun to invest heavily in stocks. Beef, chicken and vegetable.
One day I hope to be a bouillonaire!
One day I hope to be a bouillonaire!
The CEO of IKEA has become the prime minister of Sweden.
He is currently assembling his cabinet.
He is currently assembling his cabinet.
June 23, 2025 at 3:33 PM
The CEO of IKEA has become the prime minister of Sweden.
He is currently assembling his cabinet.
He is currently assembling his cabinet.
I watched a documentary about U-Haul last night on Netflix.
I thought it was genuinely moving.
I thought it was genuinely moving.
June 22, 2025 at 8:01 PM
I watched a documentary about U-Haul last night on Netflix.
I thought it was genuinely moving.
I thought it was genuinely moving.
A photon walks up to an airline counter to buy a ticket, and the clerk asks, “Any baggage to check?”
The photon replies, “No, I’m traveling light.”
The photon replies, “No, I’m traveling light.”
June 22, 2025 at 12:45 AM
A photon walks up to an airline counter to buy a ticket, and the clerk asks, “Any baggage to check?”
The photon replies, “No, I’m traveling light.”
The photon replies, “No, I’m traveling light.”
My wife threatened to leave me, so I took her crutches...
It's satisfying to see she always crawls back to me.
It's satisfying to see she always crawls back to me.
June 22, 2025 at 12:45 AM
My wife threatened to leave me, so I took her crutches...
It's satisfying to see she always crawls back to me.
It's satisfying to see she always crawls back to me.
I met a guy who raced cars...
"Do you win" I asked, "No, the cars are much faster" he said.
"Do you win" I asked, "No, the cars are much faster" he said.
June 20, 2025 at 3:24 AM
I met a guy who raced cars...
"Do you win" I asked, "No, the cars are much faster" he said.
"Do you win" I asked, "No, the cars are much faster" he said.
I am reading a book called “The History of Lubricants.”
It’s non-friction.
It’s non-friction.
June 18, 2025 at 4:44 PM
I am reading a book called “The History of Lubricants.”
It’s non-friction.
It’s non-friction.
I asked the librarian if the library had books on paranoia.
She whispered, “They’re right behind you.”
She whispered, “They’re right behind you.”
June 17, 2025 at 2:30 PM
I asked the librarian if the library had books on paranoia.
She whispered, “They’re right behind you.”
She whispered, “They’re right behind you.”
Just got fired from my job at the ice cream factory…
...I refuse to work on sundaes
...I refuse to work on sundaes
June 16, 2025 at 2:35 AM
Just got fired from my job at the ice cream factory…
...I refuse to work on sundaes
...I refuse to work on sundaes
100 hundred years ago, two brothers claimed they could fly
They were Wright
They were Wright
June 15, 2025 at 1:29 AM
100 hundred years ago, two brothers claimed they could fly
They were Wright
They were Wright
What do you call a female sniper?
Amy!
Amy!
June 13, 2025 at 6:22 PM
What do you call a female sniper?
Amy!
Amy!
I called the tinnitus hotline,
It just kept ringing...
It just kept ringing...
June 12, 2025 at 7:12 PM
I called the tinnitus hotline,
It just kept ringing...
It just kept ringing...
My Wife asked me why I never buy her flowers...
I didn't even know she sold flowers!
I didn't even know she sold flowers!
June 11, 2025 at 8:31 PM
My Wife asked me why I never buy her flowers...
I didn't even know she sold flowers!
I didn't even know she sold flowers!
I've only been working at the bicycle factory for a week.
They've already made me the spokes person.
They've already made me the spokes person.
June 10, 2025 at 6:27 PM
I've only been working at the bicycle factory for a week.
They've already made me the spokes person.
They've already made me the spokes person.
How do you think the unthinkable?
With an ithe berg.
With an ithe berg.
June 9, 2025 at 6:19 PM
How do you think the unthinkable?
With an ithe berg.
With an ithe berg.
My wife and I were cuddling last night when she said, "Show me a good time."
So I stepped outside and ran an eleven-second 100m sprint.
So I stepped outside and ran an eleven-second 100m sprint.
June 9, 2025 at 12:56 AM
My wife and I were cuddling last night when she said, "Show me a good time."
So I stepped outside and ran an eleven-second 100m sprint.
So I stepped outside and ran an eleven-second 100m sprint.
Sadly, the inventor of the throat lozenge has died.
There will be no coffin at his funeral.
There will be no coffin at his funeral.
June 7, 2025 at 9:08 PM
Sadly, the inventor of the throat lozenge has died.
There will be no coffin at his funeral.
There will be no coffin at his funeral.
What do you call a cow that's given birth?
Decaffeinated.
Decaffeinated.
June 6, 2025 at 4:47 PM
What do you call a cow that's given birth?
Decaffeinated.
Decaffeinated.
I got a free air guitar...
No strings attached.
No strings attached.
June 5, 2025 at 5:22 PM
I got a free air guitar...
No strings attached.
No strings attached.
My wife got mad at me because I keep using bird puns.
Well, toucan play at that game...
Well, toucan play at that game...
June 4, 2025 at 5:16 PM
My wife got mad at me because I keep using bird puns.
Well, toucan play at that game...
Well, toucan play at that game...
What kind of bears live at both the North & South Pole?
Bipolar bears...
Bipolar bears...
June 3, 2025 at 6:28 PM
What kind of bears live at both the North & South Pole?
Bipolar bears...
Bipolar bears...
Everyone knows Alan Turing, who cracked Enigma codes.
But nobody knows his sister Kay, who provided drinks, snacks and sandwiches for him and his colleagues...
But nobody knows his sister Kay, who provided drinks, snacks and sandwiches for him and his colleagues...
June 2, 2025 at 5:33 PM
Everyone knows Alan Turing, who cracked Enigma codes.
But nobody knows his sister Kay, who provided drinks, snacks and sandwiches for him and his colleagues...
But nobody knows his sister Kay, who provided drinks, snacks and sandwiches for him and his colleagues...
I hate when people use double negatives.
It's a big no-no.
It's a big no-no.
June 1, 2025 at 10:19 PM
I hate when people use double negatives.
It's a big no-no.
It's a big no-no.
Why did the pediatrician always lose his temper?
Because he has little patients.
Because he has little patients.
June 1, 2025 at 10:19 PM
Why did the pediatrician always lose his temper?
Because he has little patients.
Because he has little patients.