This is exactly what happened to Beyonce when she sang "At Last" for the Obamas in 2008. Dirt-deaf scumbags making mechanical music with no connection to the vocalist whatsoever. How about rehearsing together? How about ironing stuff out? Inauguration performances should be slick masterpieces. 🏆

The Star-Spangled Banner. The band isn't following the tenor's timing at all. Is he not audible to them? If a singer wants to hold a note for a beat longer, as operatic singers are known to do, especially on the global stage of an American presidential inauguration, DON'T CUT THEM OFF, SCUMBAGS. 🤷‍♂️

America The Beautiful. After an awkward, unexplained, too damn long starting delay. . . "You know the words, help me out here." CARRIE UNDERWOOD ROCKS IT ACAPPELLA. SECRETARY OF PIPES, BELTER OF THE HOUSE, UNDEFEATED UNACCOMPANIED UNDERWOOD. The inauguration's soundtrack has officially been saved. 🎤

Battle Hymn Of The Republic. Somehow, despite untold hours of rehearsal and the importance of the moment, the men, women, and band are completely out of sync with each other, plodding along on three separate beats that make everyone sound drunk. Total conductor failure. This is so disheartening. 😖

Again, if you imperil your wife and kids because you're in a job that puts a target on your back every second of your life, then you're a bit of a monster and *maybe* too immature to have a family. 👹

On a related note, if you willingly take a position where you're one of the most hated people on the planet, and I mean hated by millions of fellow citizens, nearby, all around you, then the fact that you're married or have children just makes you an idiot. A heartless fool with zero foresight. 🔮

National hero. Removed a legitimate threat to American society already responsible for millions of unaddressed health concerns and countless avoidable deaths. This walking blessing to our country will now, oddly, face the judicial system instead of being given a medal and free guac for life. 🏅

I shouldn't wonder what your paintings look like while I'm looking at your paintings. I shouldn't wonder what your voice actually sounds like while listening to a crushed bastardization of it as it rings out in a theater. Tracking the real you down should NOT be on my mind during the experience. 🔍

Every time I watch or hear Cynthia Erivo sing something for real, I retroactively hate "Wicked" even more. It's simply unforgivable when the strongest emotion a musical creates in an audience is frustration. Or a sad sense of being cheated. We no longer have musicals - we have viewsicals. 👁️

"OF detected, opinion rejected"

ON detected, open circuit corrected
OC detected, good script deflected
OY detected, Jewish mom neglected
OB detected, earworm commercial jingle accepted
OW detected, peace disrespected
OD detected, too much injected
OR detected, colorful scrubs selected

"OF detected, opinion rejected"

OG detected, reputation respected
OJ detected, wife's head disconnected
OM detected, innermost thoughts inspected
OZ detected, Dorothy protected
OX detected, yoke and cart connected
OS detected, planned obsolescence projected
OK detected, good vibes reflected