The fact of the matter is that I know myself, which is why I am the only one qualified to manage myself in terms of mental health disability.

If I do skip the appointment, it will be because I cannot calm my evil self down enough to go there without ending up in prison for threatening to kill whoever.

I'm still so pissed off at welfare for the stunt they pulled yesterday in terms of calling for an appointment with only 24hrs notice.

So I might show up today at 1pm for the meeting or might just email them a proof of covid test image to skip the appointment.

The lady that triggered me was being all snooty on top of that and the entire phone call all I could picture was smashing the phone over her head until I got to brains all over the floor.

I need to be in solitary because of these issues, let alone not being placed on disability.

I am being harassed by my welfare office, whom I should not even have to be dealing with because I should be on disability with proper coverage and not being bothered by them always.

I filed a complaint against them as an abuse and neglect of a person with disabilities case.

Otherwise I'm harmful.

💣💥

The point of that is creating games or at least game options within games where you can just have thoughtless fun doing whatever without having to be concerned with health, let alone dying.

I enjoy drugs and painkillers, which help me feel healthy again, or at least keep my mind off the pains and struggles, depending on the drug.

Fun for me is getting blitzed on weed and painkillers because I feel sick all the time otherwise.

I'm like a junkie, but I use my drugs medicinally.

I enjoy things and people that make me feel better, not worse.

Dying in video games shouldn't even be an option; it should just play out like watching a movie, doing all these sweet skills and whatnot.

I just like to hop into the game, kill a bunch of shit, and become immersed in whatever story for a bit.

Dying just pisses me off, and I turn off the game.

The game of real life, where you don't have to fight or do anything to win.

You just try to end up content in your life, in whatever it is that you do.

If that's a glimpse of the afterlife, it's nothing to be afraid of.

In fact, it felt like it's going to be a very good time filled with endless good feelings for eternity or possibly for however long one chooses to stay.

I believe in reincarnation up to a point, I believe it's our choice.