Oh my wee feminist heart ❤️

It’s a mystery.

Liz Truss, I cannot even.

+1 I’ve already whipped up some lyrics for the sequel: Ruraler Juror, and no idea what is legal.

“Gripping. Demystifying. Monumental.” — my review of #Kyoto, the play. Playing until 3 May in the West End.

BiH is being “helped” along nicely. Never in history have Russian proxies put so much earnest effort into spearheading a country’s EU accession.

We'll meet again
Don't know where, don't know when
But I know we'll meet again some sunny day
Keep smiling through
Just like you always do
'Til the blue skies 😉 drive the dark clouds far away

Never wanted to press the 😡 button about my Heathrow experience before and this morning when I was looking forward to it, they have of course removed the buttons. There’s now a queue to queue for security. And the “£5 drop-off fee” is now £6. They can take the Queen’s good name off this terminal.

Right or wrong, I’m more and more convinced that Barty Crouch Jr. has polyjuiced himself into JK Rowling, adopted on her behalf the pen name Robert Galbraith, and that the real JK Rowling is trapped in a trunk.

Full house (x2) for Jimmy Carr in Sarajevo this evening.

“What I love about Sarajevo is you had a war a very long time ago, but you’ve kept the look.”

A pro.

The story is perfect. The music was always fabulous. The casting of Cynthia Erivo who looks nothing like our dearly beloved Adele Dazeem was fucking genius. And Ariana Grande and I are getting married (she doesn’t know yet). So, best film ever tbh.

P.S. Let’s cancel that 1939 Technicolor filth.

Larry the Cat seen going into Number 10, expected to return to government as Chief Mouser after what sources close to Larry said was an apaw-ing night for the Tories

Frankfurt upon Thames

I still respect her but this is what a *massive* hypocrite JK “Robert” Rowling is.