“Would you believe me if I told you I got a deal on it that was too good to pass up? I would have been criminal not to buy it.”

You gotta get her reinforcements

You want one? My girlfriend has 7 at the moment and at least two could use understanding homes.

I have an old family saying and that's "If you lose to both of my alma maters and my parents' alma mater in consecutive weeks you wont last long as a head coach."

...it's weird they coined that in the 1800s.