I just want to give up, but I’m not allowed to. No one will let me. I’m not supposed to—it’s wrong to even want to

But no one cares

They’d rather accept any continued suffering than understand what this is like, that it’s been like this for a very long time

I’m just tired. Of trying to care.

And I always have to “get back up” and “keep going” and “keep trying”

And it all just feels like insanity to me, now

Because what’s the point when nothing changes, when nothing gets better

Why can’t anyone help me, why does nothing change

How much longer must I put up with this

BRUH

Thanks so much, I appreciate it

For now, im just trying to focus on finding what I can actually do. For awhile now I’ve just sort of been frozen

The rhythm and the cadence of the world are just…off…and honestly that’s the hardest part

Especially now that the only person who was ever really able to help me is gone

I just don’t want this to be my life, anymore, and I don’t know what I’m supposed to do about that, what there even is that could be done

And it just feels like nothing matters anymore

And I’m just…really tired…

And I just hate this

I hate all of this

I just want things to be different

I don’t want this to be my life

I just wish that things could be different

That I could get better and move on from all this

But it instead, it just feels like I’ll be stuck with this for the rest of my life

He understood when there was something wrong. He was the person I could trust to really hear me when I cried out

And not having him here anymore…

…I’ve not been taking it very well…

It’s been a month, and it feels like things have just gotten so much worse

It’s scary

And I honestly just have no idea what’s been happening with me, what’s going on, and it’s to the point where there’s just this stuff in my head that doesn’t make any sense anymore

And my dad was, like, the one person I could go to when I needed help

Like, I just had a serious car accident. Totaled the car, too. But when you’re driving and then suddenly you find yourself in a hospital, and you’re listening to a doctor telling you what happened and how you were basically not behaving like yourself, like you were some entirely different person…?

It’s also coming at a real bad time, because I’m just recently learning there’s a pretty serious dissociative aspect to the shit I’ve been dealing with most of my life.

I don’t even truly know how far back it goes—potentially as far back as my childhood, and it’s just super-scary…

Among the most beautiful things I’ve ever seen

(To point out, the new episode only just dropped like 7 hours ago and I wrote the quoted skeet 3 days ago based off the first two episodes)

…because the figureheads in control of the system would otherwise lose the comfort/privileges they currently enjoy, and that part of the story of the kids’ eventual return home will be freeing their planet from the stranglehold of these antiquated traditions meant to preserve massive wealth.

…that there’s now this myth of a hidden “treasure planet” safeguarding a massive pool of wealth

And something tells me they’ve kept themselves hidden for this purpose, and that maybe the leadership are *continuing* to hide themselves and force their society to maintain “the great work”…

…which have to mingle with one another in a massive trading system spanning the entire galaxy.

If they control the credits and their respective values when set against the old-school credits, that might explain why, after the fall of The Republic, rise of the Empire, and its subsequent fall…

…their job became more important: the brief excerpts we’ve gotten showing their intense education on using/comparing matrices with each other could be used to compare different systems of credit used by different planets/systems…