Elon Altman
@elonaltman.bsky.social
NY born and raised
Comedy Cellar comedian
Comedy Cellar comedian
Franz Kafka was a lawyer, so technically he himself was Kafka Esq.
April 6, 2025 at 6:21 PM
Franz Kafka was a lawyer, so technically he himself was Kafka Esq.
The JFK files are great when you’re bored and you want 80,000 of something.
March 20, 2025 at 2:12 PM
The JFK files are great when you’re bored and you want 80,000 of something.
Zelenskyy needs to pull a Jo Koy and blame his writers.
March 1, 2025 at 1:49 AM
Zelenskyy needs to pull a Jo Koy and blame his writers.
If it was supposed to be outdoors they would’ve called it an outauguration.
January 18, 2025 at 5:11 PM
If it was supposed to be outdoors they would’ve called it an outauguration.
Timothee Chalamet has a polite image because his name contains “shall” and “may”
December 14, 2024 at 3:52 AM
Timothee Chalamet has a polite image because his name contains “shall” and “may”
No that can’t be right. #spotifywrapped
December 4, 2024 at 2:15 PM
No that can’t be right. #spotifywrapped
Biden pardoned Hunter on Cyber Monday so he could get a good deal on a new laptop.
December 2, 2024 at 6:12 PM
Biden pardoned Hunter on Cyber Monday so he could get a good deal on a new laptop.
This is the first Hunter pardon since Dick Cheney got off for shooting that guy.
December 2, 2024 at 1:38 AM
This is the first Hunter pardon since Dick Cheney got off for shooting that guy.
Imagine the pain of suffering with an eating disorder and your last name is Grande.
November 24, 2024 at 3:39 PM
Imagine the pain of suffering with an eating disorder and your last name is Grande.
Gen Z is too into eating ass.
November 23, 2024 at 7:26 PM
Gen Z is too into eating ass.
“I cannot stress enough” - my brain
November 23, 2024 at 7:05 PM
“I cannot stress enough” - my brain
