Expressing my frustration helps me see where I'm justified & where my anger is masking anxiety. I probably shouldn't vent here, but it's better than yelling at them until I work it out, which is where I started 20yrs ago. I'm just tired.

It's all good. I'd probably assume the same if my friend had to vent like this. I just process things better out loud sometimes, and I grew up with people who did consistently invalidate my feelings, which is one reason I over react-preemptive self defense, so I have to reflect on my reactions

That's the goal!

The difficulty is balancing the double act of learning self-regulation & offering patient accountability with the double act of requesting reasonable accommodation for myself & accepting due responsibility. We're both flawed & growing & damaged & healing

The ones who -aren't- trying don't get gifts

In many relationships. In this instance, it really is just bc I happen to be healthier in this particular regard, not because they are being manipulative. I mean, yeah, they expect too much & more than they are able to give themselves, but they're growing & better than they've been.

7

It's just the physics of that universe. Stars are sentient, the soul/consciousness is made of light that permeates the body, & ambient light is a tangible substance beyond solid, liquid, gas, or plasma

Even more delicate work like gender affirmation or neurological repair is possible, but very few people are desperate enough to risk having it done (especially since there is very limited liability on the magistaire for freely sought procedures)

All why Alstair's services are so significant

the reaction to being found attractive, whether it's disbelief, gratification, or something else. But all of that is done through tiny things like the warmth of a blush or the hitch of a breath or the stopping of thought. Even 1st sight infatuation is a flood of sensations that can be shared

That may be the best thing I've read in a long time

Go forth and be hot!

Wow. Their life must be a ride.

Oxblood & eucalyptus leaf give me the most holiday vibes from that selection, though the blue at the bottom is nice for winter in general

It's not labeled for me!

Being an adult w/personal buying power automatically makes you difficult to buy gifts for. Being less than expressive, doesn't collect anything, does -not- want fandom merch, & is admittedly picky about games & aesthetics makes you a fucking nightmare. If that hurts your feelings? Try the other side

You don't get to be irrepressibly picky & judgemental AND get your feelings hurt when someone observes that you're difficult to shop for!

You don't get to complain about the gifts you've been given & then act confused when someone is anxious about giving you the wrong gifts.

You don't get to claim to like random weird shit & be baffled as to why someone got you that campy looking record.

It's not fair to reject gimmicky 'useless'/decorative gifts as wasteful & annoying & then get irritated when asked what you actually want.

Are we supposed to listen to your criticism of Christmas lists & then go use yours anyway without assuming you'll be disappointed to 'just get something off a list because we don't know you well enough to pick something out'? Is that conflict so difficult to understand?