playing Dungeons and Dragons for 12 hours is one of the wilder experiences you can have as a human

don’t tell me I’m pretty, tell me I look like I could be a Mortal Kombat character

I started my shift by helping manually extract poop from a woman’s ass and ended it by running through the hallways, losing everything in my pockets, to clean up a catheter that overflowed because she just peed too much

I finally deleted TikTok. God help me.

my favorite meal lately has been two eggs in a tortilla. Nothing on it, just salt and pepper to taste. Just me, two eggs, and a tortilla.

my favorite hobby is crop dusting the break room and walking out

people ask me how I work night and day shifts and I usually just say weed and Red Bull. The real secret is being able to sleep for 14+ hours on your one day off

watch the USPS put an annual subscription fee on the Informed Delivery

self care is having a bowl loaded and waiting for you for after your 12 hour shift of wiping butts

making one man insecure at a time by matching their weights at the gym

I love screaming into the void of the internet because wow does none of it matter

Myers Briggs is astrology for LinkedIn users. Enneagram is astrology for Christians. Astrology is dating conversation for gays