I will be calling it the Gulf of Mexico and I will celebrating Black History month until the day I fugging die bro

About 20 years ago in Los Angeles, I was taking my dog for a morning walk wearing some some ratty pajamas, no makeup and glasses. In my hand was a plastic bag full of literal steaming dog sh*t…

This has been the longest year… uh month… uh week of my life 🫠

The amount of prepper gear in my TikTok shop cart right now… 🤪😝😳

I never hear about Luigi anymore 😢

Has anyone been to the grocery store? How are eggs lookin?

There is so much noise about “what women want” but the simplicity is that good communication skills, kindness, transparency, enthusiastic support, the action of improving yourself, passion towards life & interests, empathy and making healthy, empowered choices is all we are really looking for

So what makes Bluesky different? Can I swear here???

How do I get the Bluesky algorithm to show me something other than bad memes and cat pics (I don’t even own a cat)

This is just me- but when every single piece of content someone posts is about their “brand” I’m just like 🙄🥱 entertain us a lil bit!

The American Government is basically just the cast for an all Star Reality Show at this point

Okay- so how do I get some action here in this big blue sky? I’m a fun lady!

*liking a story once every three months: your ex situationship
*liking a story once a week: fk boi
*liking a story once a day: has a crush on you
*liking a few stories a day: your buddy
*liking every story, every day: stalker

I’m just going to keep sharing this song until it’s playing on a loop in your head every day and you’re singing it with glee while you put up your Christmas decorations 💋

I asked chatGBT to make a picture of my dream man (with very few visual descriptors- just personality traits) and WHY did this photo look like my damn crush?!?! 😭😆

Selfies in Chicago 🩶

I’m so tired that I just drank a Celsius and then took a nap

Elisabeth has been an Actress for “so f*cking long” that you can see her dancing with Beyonce in a Destiny’s Child music video. Blessed with a great jawline, she hopes to resist aging long enough "for Hollywood to recognize what a talented actress I am & cast me as an unhinged Trad Wife"