maybe the ancient greeks had different beauty standards, or maybe bigger women meant less carving

Sir, the word you're looking for is condescending.

did this cool thing in rehab called car therapy where i got to caress a car everyday. a miata, got right underneath it, listened to that sweet, 20 liter 4 cyclinder purr. ha. damn, i’m so fucked up rn.

yeah i practice tapping for anxiety. i tap my infant son’s face with my fist.

“doot doo doot doot doo” i said while walking, just before realizing i’d become my father.

me: (while keeping a candle lit outside during a snowstorm) babe! you were totally right! this IS just like remaining in love with me!

as half of a menacing mafia shakedown duo, it’s my job to be the silent one that walks around behind the talkative one, idling through magazines, knocking over a vase. “Oops.” I say.
(I don’t mean it😛)

got a heavy blanket so i could burn more calories while crying.