Eli Finkel
@elijfinkel.bsky.social
Professor at Northwestern/Kellogg • Author of THE ALL-OR-NOTHING MARRIAGE • Co-host of the LOVE FACTUALLY podcast • Co-director of the CENTER FOR ENLIGHTENED DISAGREEMENT • Post about relationships (sex, marriage) and politics (polarization, free speech).
Pinned
Eli Finkel
@elijfinkel.bsky.social
· Nov 12
Love Factually Podcast | Paul Eastwick | Substack
Click to read Love Factually Podcast, a Substack publication with hundreds of subscribers.
lovefactually.substack.com
Welcome to the surge of new folks here!
I'm a Northwestern/Kellogg psychology professor who studies: (1) romantic relationships and (2) U.S. political polarization/free speech.
I co-direct NU's CENTER FOR ENLIGHTENED DISAGREEMENT & co-host the LOVE FACTUALLY podcast.
lovefactually.substack.com
I'm a Northwestern/Kellogg psychology professor who studies: (1) romantic relationships and (2) U.S. political polarization/free speech.
I co-direct NU's CENTER FOR ENLIGHTENED DISAGREEMENT & co-host the LOVE FACTUALLY podcast.
lovefactually.substack.com
Reposted by Eli Finkel
(In a delightful twist, my new segment got stitched together with a rebroadcast of an older episode featuring the incomparable @elijfinkel.bsky.social, one of my grad school professors, whose work on marriage is captivating. I couldn’t ask for a better Hidden Brain buddy!)
October 15, 2025 at 12:59 PM
(In a delightful twist, my new segment got stitched together with a rebroadcast of an older episode featuring the incomparable @elijfinkel.bsky.social, one of my grad school professors, whose work on marriage is captivating. I couldn’t ask for a better Hidden Brain buddy!)
Please apply to postdoc with us at Northwestern/Kellogg. This position in the Dispute Resolution Research Center is a terrific opportunity.
Apply for the @drrc-kellogg.bsky.social Dispute Resolution Research Center Postdoctoral Fellowship at @kelloggschoolnu.bsky.social Northwestern Kellogg! Advance research on conflict & cooperation with top scholars and join a powerful alumni network. Deadline soon: Nov 1
🔗 tinyurl.com/drrcpostdoc2...
🔗 tinyurl.com/drrcpostdoc2...
Postdoctoral fellow information
tinyurl.com
October 28, 2025 at 8:04 PM
Please apply to postdoc with us at Northwestern/Kellogg. This position in the Dispute Resolution Research Center is a terrific opportunity.
If you're interested in pedagogy surrounding the teaching of negotiation, I hope you'll join us for "Teaching Negotiations the Kellogg Way."
See the repost for details.
See the repost for details.
Negotiation teaching evolves, and @kelloggschoolnu.bsky.social remains at the forefront.
💻 Nov 6–7: Teaching Negotiations the Kellogg Way
@cynthiascwang.bsky.social
@nourkteily.bsky.social
@elijfinkel.bsky.social
Earn a @drrc-kellogg.bsky.social Certificate
🔗 www.eventbrite.com/e/teaching-n...
💻 Nov 6–7: Teaching Negotiations the Kellogg Way
@cynthiascwang.bsky.social
@nourkteily.bsky.social
@elijfinkel.bsky.social
Earn a @drrc-kellogg.bsky.social Certificate
🔗 www.eventbrite.com/e/teaching-n...
Teaching Negotiations the Kellogg Way
Experience the Kellogg way—where collaboration, experimentation and excellence drive learning
www.eventbrite.com
October 12, 2025 at 2:31 PM
If you're interested in pedagogy surrounding the teaching of negotiation, I hope you'll join us for "Teaching Negotiations the Kellogg Way."
See the repost for details.
See the repost for details.
📢POSTDOC POSITION ANNOUNCEMENT📢
@nourkteily.bsky.social & I are recruiting a postdoc in the #LitowitzCenter for Enlightened Disagreement. We seek research excellence regarding navigating conflict.
Application deadline: Nov. 17.
Salary: ~$80k.
facultyrecruiting.northwestern.edu/apply/MjQzNw==
@nourkteily.bsky.social & I are recruiting a postdoc in the #LitowitzCenter for Enlightened Disagreement. We seek research excellence regarding navigating conflict.
Application deadline: Nov. 17.
Salary: ~$80k.
facultyrecruiting.northwestern.edu/apply/MjQzNw==
Northwestern Faculty Search -
facultyrecruiting.northwestern.edu
October 5, 2025 at 6:24 PM
📢POSTDOC POSITION ANNOUNCEMENT📢
@nourkteily.bsky.social & I are recruiting a postdoc in the #LitowitzCenter for Enlightened Disagreement. We seek research excellence regarding navigating conflict.
Application deadline: Nov. 17.
Salary: ~$80k.
facultyrecruiting.northwestern.edu/apply/MjQzNw==
@nourkteily.bsky.social & I are recruiting a postdoc in the #LitowitzCenter for Enlightened Disagreement. We seek research excellence regarding navigating conflict.
Application deadline: Nov. 17.
Salary: ~$80k.
facultyrecruiting.northwestern.edu/apply/MjQzNw==
Reposted by Eli Finkel
What kinds of conversations spark instant connection?
Excited to share my first NYT Guest Essay, with @ericaboothby.bsky.social.
We argue that playful riffing — creating a little world together — forges and deepens relationships through shared reality.
www.nytimes.com/2025/09/04/o...
Excited to share my first NYT Guest Essay, with @ericaboothby.bsky.social.
We argue that playful riffing — creating a little world together — forges and deepens relationships through shared reality.
www.nytimes.com/2025/09/04/o...
Opinion | You’re Probably Doing Small Talk Wrong
www.nytimes.com
September 4, 2025 at 9:13 AM
What kinds of conversations spark instant connection?
Excited to share my first NYT Guest Essay, with @ericaboothby.bsky.social.
We argue that playful riffing — creating a little world together — forges and deepens relationships through shared reality.
www.nytimes.com/2025/09/04/o...
Excited to share my first NYT Guest Essay, with @ericaboothby.bsky.social.
We argue that playful riffing — creating a little world together — forges and deepens relationships through shared reality.
www.nytimes.com/2025/09/04/o...
📢 MAJOR ANNOUNCEMENT 📢
@nourkteily.bsky.social and I are delighted to introduce the Litowitz Center for Enlightened Disagreement, supercharged by a $20M gift from Jennifer and Alec Litowitz.
The #LitowitzCenter helps people harness the power of difference.
www.chicagotribune.com/2025/09/03/n...
@nourkteily.bsky.social and I are delighted to introduce the Litowitz Center for Enlightened Disagreement, supercharged by a $20M gift from Jennifer and Alec Litowitz.
The #LitowitzCenter helps people harness the power of difference.
www.chicagotribune.com/2025/09/03/n...
Northwestern trustee and husband gift $20 million to Center for Enlightened Disagreement
A Northwestern University trustee and her husband have donated $20 million to support the school’s Center for Enlightened Disagreement.
www.chicagotribune.com
September 3, 2025 at 3:44 PM
📢 MAJOR ANNOUNCEMENT 📢
@nourkteily.bsky.social and I are delighted to introduce the Litowitz Center for Enlightened Disagreement, supercharged by a $20M gift from Jennifer and Alec Litowitz.
The #LitowitzCenter helps people harness the power of difference.
www.chicagotribune.com/2025/09/03/n...
@nourkteily.bsky.social and I are delighted to introduce the Litowitz Center for Enlightened Disagreement, supercharged by a $20M gift from Jennifer and Alec Litowitz.
The #LitowitzCenter helps people harness the power of difference.
www.chicagotribune.com/2025/09/03/n...
📢JOB POSTING: Senior Director for the Center for Enlightened Disagreement (CED).📢
@nourkteily.bsky.social and I seek a strategic leader to help us build the Center (see ensuing post for information about CED).
Target salary range: $125,000-$155,000.
1/2
careers.northwestern.edu/psc/hrnu_er/...
@nourkteily.bsky.social and I seek a strategic leader to help us build the Center (see ensuing post for information about CED).
Target salary range: $125,000-$155,000.
1/2
careers.northwestern.edu/psc/hrnu_er/...
An error has occurred.
careers.northwestern.edu
August 25, 2025 at 2:40 PM
📢JOB POSTING: Senior Director for the Center for Enlightened Disagreement (CED).📢
@nourkteily.bsky.social and I seek a strategic leader to help us build the Center (see ensuing post for information about CED).
Target salary range: $125,000-$155,000.
1/2
careers.northwestern.edu/psc/hrnu_er/...
@nourkteily.bsky.social and I seek a strategic leader to help us build the Center (see ensuing post for information about CED).
Target salary range: $125,000-$155,000.
1/2
careers.northwestern.edu/psc/hrnu_er/...
A big THANK YOU to @davidmcraney.bsky.social for featuring the #LoveFactually podcast on #YouAreNotSoSmart!
The episode delves into #TheNotebook, figuring out what the movie gets right -- and what it gets wrong -- about how relationships work.
Enjoy!
youarenotsosmart.com/2025/08/04/y...
The episode delves into #TheNotebook, figuring out what the movie gets right -- and what it gets wrong -- about how relationships work.
Enjoy!
youarenotsosmart.com/2025/08/04/y...
YANSS 319 – What movies often get wrong about romantic love, relationships, and human mating in general
Two psychologists who study love, relationships, and human mating behavior pick apart the movie “The Notebook” and tell us what it gets right and what it gets wrong when it comes to por…
youarenotsosmart.com
August 4, 2025 at 10:15 PM
A big THANK YOU to @davidmcraney.bsky.social for featuring the #LoveFactually podcast on #YouAreNotSoSmart!
The episode delves into #TheNotebook, figuring out what the movie gets right -- and what it gets wrong -- about how relationships work.
Enjoy!
youarenotsosmart.com/2025/08/04/y...
The episode delves into #TheNotebook, figuring out what the movie gets right -- and what it gets wrong -- about how relationships work.
Enjoy!
youarenotsosmart.com/2025/08/04/y...
Reposted by Eli Finkel
Dive into the science behind your favorite rom-coms with
@elijfinkel.bsky.social and Paul Eastwick’s "Love Factually" podcast. Discover what Hollywood gets right—and wrong—about love. ❤️ 🎥
Listen now: www.lovefactuallypod.com
@elijfinkel.bsky.social and Paul Eastwick’s "Love Factually" podcast. Discover what Hollywood gets right—and wrong—about love. ❤️ 🎥
Listen now: www.lovefactuallypod.com
Love Factually
www.lovefactuallypod.com
July 29, 2025 at 3:31 PM
Dive into the science behind your favorite rom-coms with
@elijfinkel.bsky.social and Paul Eastwick’s "Love Factually" podcast. Discover what Hollywood gets right—and wrong—about love. ❤️ 🎥
Listen now: www.lovefactuallypod.com
@elijfinkel.bsky.social and Paul Eastwick’s "Love Factually" podcast. Discover what Hollywood gets right—and wrong—about love. ❤️ 🎥
Listen now: www.lovefactuallypod.com
Reposted by Eli Finkel
🎉Life update🎉
After 6 wonderful years at Princeton, I am officially *Dr.* Oktar!
Next: Postdoc at Meta FAIR w/ @asli-celikyilmaz.bsky.social; then, postdoc at Kellogg studying disagreement w/ @elijfinkel.bsky.social & @nourkteily.bsky.social!
Thanks @tanialombrozo.bsky.social for the hood :)
After 6 wonderful years at Princeton, I am officially *Dr.* Oktar!
Next: Postdoc at Meta FAIR w/ @asli-celikyilmaz.bsky.social; then, postdoc at Kellogg studying disagreement w/ @elijfinkel.bsky.social & @nourkteily.bsky.social!
Thanks @tanialombrozo.bsky.social for the hood :)
June 3, 2025 at 7:51 PM
🎉Life update🎉
After 6 wonderful years at Princeton, I am officially *Dr.* Oktar!
Next: Postdoc at Meta FAIR w/ @asli-celikyilmaz.bsky.social; then, postdoc at Kellogg studying disagreement w/ @elijfinkel.bsky.social & @nourkteily.bsky.social!
Thanks @tanialombrozo.bsky.social for the hood :)
After 6 wonderful years at Princeton, I am officially *Dr.* Oktar!
Next: Postdoc at Meta FAIR w/ @asli-celikyilmaz.bsky.social; then, postdoc at Kellogg studying disagreement w/ @elijfinkel.bsky.social & @nourkteily.bsky.social!
Thanks @tanialombrozo.bsky.social for the hood :)
Reposted by Eli Finkel
Agree to disagree? That's the goal of Kellogg's Center for Enlightened Disagreement, led by @elijfinkel.bsky.social and Nour Kteily. Read more about how two leading scholars of conflict and polarization want to help us have more productive conversations. magazine.northwestern.edu/features/cen...
May 21, 2025 at 7:10 PM
Agree to disagree? That's the goal of Kellogg's Center for Enlightened Disagreement, led by @elijfinkel.bsky.social and Nour Kteily. Read more about how two leading scholars of conflict and polarization want to help us have more productive conversations. magazine.northwestern.edu/features/cen...
🎇NEW PUBLICATION ANNOUNCEMENT🎇
“Love may be a many-splendored thing, but it’s also a battlefield.”
So begins my "Romantic Relationships" chapter in the new, OPEN-ACCESS, Handbook of Social Psychology (6e). The chapter synthesizes what I've learned in my 28 years in the field.
🧵
“Love may be a many-splendored thing, but it’s also a battlefield.”
So begins my "Romantic Relationships" chapter in the new, OPEN-ACCESS, Handbook of Social Psychology (6e). The chapter synthesizes what I've learned in my 28 years in the field.
🧵
May 21, 2025 at 2:17 PM
🎇NEW PUBLICATION ANNOUNCEMENT🎇
“Love may be a many-splendored thing, but it’s also a battlefield.”
So begins my "Romantic Relationships" chapter in the new, OPEN-ACCESS, Handbook of Social Psychology (6e). The chapter synthesizes what I've learned in my 28 years in the field.
🧵
“Love may be a many-splendored thing, but it’s also a battlefield.”
So begins my "Romantic Relationships" chapter in the new, OPEN-ACCESS, Handbook of Social Psychology (6e). The chapter synthesizes what I've learned in my 28 years in the field.
🧵
Reposted by Eli Finkel
Great chatting with @dkthomp.bsky.social about relationship science and what it can tell us about online dating, soul mates, and Julia Roberts movies!
More on the science behind your favorite rom coms on the Love Factually Podcast with me and Eli at: podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/l...
More on the science behind your favorite rom coms on the Love Factually Podcast with me and Eli at: podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/l...
The Rules of Attraction and the Psychology of Romance
Plain English with Derek Thompson · Episode
open.spotify.com
May 20, 2025 at 7:42 PM
Great chatting with @dkthomp.bsky.social about relationship science and what it can tell us about online dating, soul mates, and Julia Roberts movies!
More on the science behind your favorite rom coms on the Love Factually Podcast with me and Eli at: podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/l...
More on the science behind your favorite rom coms on the Love Factually Podcast with me and Eli at: podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/l...
Reposted by Eli Finkel
Since 1954, "The Handbook of Social Psychology" has been the field’s most authoritative reference work, and today is the launch of the 6th edition with 50 new chapters by 100 leading scholars. Best news? The HSP is now an open-access public resource—free to read, download, and share. the-hsp.com
May 19, 2025 at 3:49 PM
Since 1954, "The Handbook of Social Psychology" has been the field’s most authoritative reference work, and today is the launch of the 6th edition with 50 new chapters by 100 leading scholars. Best news? The HSP is now an open-access public resource—free to read, download, and share. the-hsp.com
Reposted by Eli Finkel
When I was in grad school, this was THE resource...and it cost a ton. Now it's free. Amazing.
#PsychSciSky
#PsychSciSky
Since 1954, "The Handbook of Social Psychology" has been the field’s most authoritative reference work, and today is the launch of the 6th edition with 50 new chapters by 100 leading scholars. Best news? The HSP is now an open-access public resource—free to read, download, and share. the-hsp.com
May 19, 2025 at 5:27 PM
When I was in grad school, this was THE resource...and it cost a ton. Now it's free. Amazing.
#PsychSciSky
#PsychSciSky
Reposted by Eli Finkel
📣very thrilled to see the new, open access (!) edition of the Handbook of Social Psychology is now online! With 50 chapters, this is an amazing collective effort brought to everyone by @danielgilbert.bsky.social, Susan Fiske, @elijfinkel.bsky.social, and Wendy Mendes and Situational Press. 👏🎉🙏
May 19, 2025 at 6:39 PM
📣very thrilled to see the new, open access (!) edition of the Handbook of Social Psychology is now online! With 50 chapters, this is an amazing collective effort brought to everyone by @danielgilbert.bsky.social, Susan Fiske, @elijfinkel.bsky.social, and Wendy Mendes and Situational Press. 👏🎉🙏
🎇It's #PubDay for THE HANDBOOK OF SOCIAL PSYCHOLOGY (6e)!🎇
This is the latest edition of the most venerated institution in social psychology, dating back to 1954. Fifty definitive chapters, over 8,000 manuscript pages. (The TOC appears below.)
And: IT'S 100% OPEN-ACCESS: www.the-HSP.com.🧵
This is the latest edition of the most venerated institution in social psychology, dating back to 1954. Fifty definitive chapters, over 8,000 manuscript pages. (The TOC appears below.)
And: IT'S 100% OPEN-ACCESS: www.the-HSP.com.🧵
May 19, 2025 at 3:48 PM
🎇It's #PubDay for THE HANDBOOK OF SOCIAL PSYCHOLOGY (6e)!🎇
This is the latest edition of the most venerated institution in social psychology, dating back to 1954. Fifty definitive chapters, over 8,000 manuscript pages. (The TOC appears below.)
And: IT'S 100% OPEN-ACCESS: www.the-HSP.com.🧵
This is the latest edition of the most venerated institution in social psychology, dating back to 1954. Fifty definitive chapters, over 8,000 manuscript pages. (The TOC appears below.)
And: IT'S 100% OPEN-ACCESS: www.the-HSP.com.🧵
Reposted by Eli Finkel
What does the latest Bridget Jones film say about romantic attraction? In @spspnews.bsky.social, @elijfinkel.bsky.social & Paul Eastwick write that Jones' interest in younger men aligns with their recent study showing that on blind dates, women are attracted to youth. spsp.org/news/charact...
Bridget Jones is an Avatar for the Science of Attraction | SPSP
Both men and women are—perhaps surprisingly—more attracted to younger partners.
spsp.org
May 1, 2025 at 2:25 PM
What does the latest Bridget Jones film say about romantic attraction? In @spspnews.bsky.social, @elijfinkel.bsky.social & Paul Eastwick write that Jones' interest in younger men aligns with their recent study showing that on blind dates, women are attracted to youth. spsp.org/news/charact...
Reposted by Eli Finkel
In the most recent Bridget Jones film, we find our heroine drawn to younger men.
According to our recent PNAS article, this aspect of the movie is spot on: On average, women say they want an older partner, but they are initially attracted to younger ones.
#PsychSciSky
According to our recent PNAS article, this aspect of the movie is spot on: On average, women say they want an older partner, but they are initially attracted to younger ones.
#PsychSciSky
Bridget Jones is an Avatar for the Science of Attraction | SPSP
Both men and women are—perhaps surprisingly—more attracted to younger partners.
spsp.org
April 25, 2025 at 1:13 PM
In the most recent Bridget Jones film, we find our heroine drawn to younger men.
According to our recent PNAS article, this aspect of the movie is spot on: On average, women say they want an older partner, but they are initially attracted to younger ones.
#PsychSciSky
According to our recent PNAS article, this aspect of the movie is spot on: On average, women say they want an older partner, but they are initially attracted to younger ones.
#PsychSciSky
I've been waiting years for this book!
My friend and collaborator Greg Walton (professor at Stanford) has pioneered a new paradigm for achieving big change. As he explains in ORDINARY MAGIC, it starts with small acts.
The book is powerful and a pleasure to read. Check it out!
My friend and collaborator Greg Walton (professor at Stanford) has pioneered a new paradigm for achieving big change. As he explains in ORDINARY MAGIC, it starts with small acts.
The book is powerful and a pleasure to read. Check it out!
April 21, 2025 at 10:18 PM
I've been waiting years for this book!
My friend and collaborator Greg Walton (professor at Stanford) has pioneered a new paradigm for achieving big change. As he explains in ORDINARY MAGIC, it starts with small acts.
The book is powerful and a pleasure to read. Check it out!
My friend and collaborator Greg Walton (professor at Stanford) has pioneered a new paradigm for achieving big change. As he explains in ORDINARY MAGIC, it starts with small acts.
The book is powerful and a pleasure to read. Check it out!
Reposted by Eli Finkel
🎞️ New short film just released about my research on what makes a mind susceptible to rigid and extreme ideologies
by @uniofcam.bsky.social! 🧠
www.youtube.com/watch?v=EOBI...
by @uniofcam.bsky.social! 🧠
www.youtube.com/watch?v=EOBI...
Uncovered: Psychological 'signature' of the extreme mind
YouTube video by Cambridge University
www.youtube.com
March 5, 2025 at 6:39 PM
🎞️ New short film just released about my research on what makes a mind susceptible to rigid and extreme ideologies
by @uniofcam.bsky.social! 🧠
www.youtube.com/watch?v=EOBI...
by @uniofcam.bsky.social! 🧠
www.youtube.com/watch?v=EOBI...
How Weight-Loss Drugs Can Upend a Marriage www.nytimes.com/2025/02/02/m...
Weight Loss Drugs and Their Lesser Known Side Effects on Relationships
Doctors warn about their physical side effects, but they can also have unexpected effects on intimacy.
www.nytimes.com
February 2, 2025 at 8:51 PM
How Weight-Loss Drugs Can Upend a Marriage www.nytimes.com/2025/02/02/m...
Check out this profound visual essay from the brilliant @lianafinck.bsky.social. It's equally wise about equality and relationships, and especially about tensions therein.
I Quit the Patriarchy and Rescued My Marriage www.nytimes.com/2025/02/01/o...
I Quit the Patriarchy and Rescued My Marriage www.nytimes.com/2025/02/01/o...
February 1, 2025 at 8:28 PM
Check out this profound visual essay from the brilliant @lianafinck.bsky.social. It's equally wise about equality and relationships, and especially about tensions therein.
I Quit the Patriarchy and Rescued My Marriage www.nytimes.com/2025/02/01/o...
I Quit the Patriarchy and Rescued My Marriage www.nytimes.com/2025/02/01/o...
Reposted by Eli Finkel
Study: men who feel like they have lower desirability as a romantic/sexual partner compared to the their partner feel more motivated to sexually satisfy their female partners, and this motivation translates into increased cunnilingus frequency. link.springer.com/article/10.1...
Oral Sex May Serve as Low Mate Value Compensation Among Men: Evidence from a Pre-registered Study - Archives of Sexual Behavior
From the evolutionary perspective, maintaining a committed relationship is beneficial for reproductive success but involves risks such as losing a partner or infidelity. People typically prefer partne...
link.springer.com
January 27, 2025 at 3:16 PM
Study: men who feel like they have lower desirability as a romantic/sexual partner compared to the their partner feel more motivated to sexually satisfy their female partners, and this motivation translates into increased cunnilingus frequency. link.springer.com/article/10.1...