Today I walked 70m up the road alone in the dark and back.

I washed, dressed, cooked, posted, redesigned my website.

HTT signed me back to CMHT.

Yesterday I got into a taxi to see friends.

We ate brisket and kugel after Hanukah.

I had a small nip of whiskey.
For a few hours, I felt more like myself.

Today I walked a short distance on my own, in the dark, and came back.

Same shoes. No metaphor.

Both required determination. Both count.

"I was told the Home Treatment Team were leaving because I 'wasn’t engaging'.
I was crying hard.
I couldn’t speak properly.
I was trying to get my breathing back under control.
The leaving was the intervention."

Bought a few NeeDoh cubes today.
Small, squishy, quietly effective.
Something grounding to hold when my nervous system is loud and words are not helping.
Letting small supports count.

#mentalhealth #anxiety #nervoussystem #selfsoothing #sensorytools #NeeDoh

electrodegirl.substack.com

I’ve been tracking my mood and wellbeing with the Flow headset — using their self-reported data, recorded every few days.

These charts don’t just show scores; they reflect patterns. Sleep, concentration, and zest for life fluctuate. Mood steadies, unease softens, and optimism rises slightly.

This is what a day looks like when there’s no arc to follow.

Not progress, not collapse. Just time passing, attention narrowing, and small things becoming the whole shape of it.

electrodegirl.substack.com/p/the-shape-...

#livedexperience #mentalhealth #coping