She’s good at slipping out of her chains whenever I leave the door unlocked…

A misunderstood adult

A feral teen

A demon among demons

One locked in her shame; the other clawing her way out

No recovery time from the mania
You come out shellshocked

It’s a clock still set to daylight savings
It’s self-hatred and people pleasing

It’s going back in time,
To the child I once was,

And remembering the exact moment she split into two beings

It’s swallowing it all down until it’s regurgitated

It’s every intense and uninhibited emotion and the whiplash from how hard and fast they hit you

But at the same time,
I won’t
I can’t
Because I know that nothing will change a year from now
Nothing will ever stop the manic attacks from crushing against my ribs
The suffocating feeling leaves me laughing,
crying,
screaming,
throwing fits
Getting whiplash
Oh god,
Please end this…

Tell me,
do I invoke a state of righteousness?
Am I someone worthy of being saved?
My fingers are stained
Caught on glass
I’m being ripped open
I’m dying
But my coffin isn’t ready yet
I grow my nails out
just to tear into my flesh
I want to trapeze over time

a.co/d/7LQZMPw

Hoping for more to come 🤞, so if you enjoy what you've read so far and would like to stick around, stay tuned ~ 💕

It's not perfect by any means, but you know what? I'm proud of it, anyway ☺️

I suppose most could see this coming, though. I was warned…

A word to the wise: be better! 😠

I have blocked the deviant and will be moving on, but now I have a headache 🤕

I’m a little heartbroken and hurt, to say the least. I think I’m a nice person, and with that being said, I don’t deserve to constantly have my time wasted and my trust broken. No one needs that kind of stress in their life.

I’m not asking for anyone else to reach out. I don’t want to even dive back into the process this very moment. I guess I’ll be looking at more legit outlets, as I no longer trust myself on this app, nor my decision making skills.