can’t call em thirst traps if there’s no one to thirst after them

I’m proud of the song though. I’m told it’s good - gut-punching, at least for my loved ones anyways, but good.

I don’t know. Give it a listen for yourself at midnight. Let me know what you think. Hope you don’t hate it. Sorry if it makes you cry (I’m not saying that it will, but it sure gets me).

I don’t know. all of my songs are pretty personal. this one is just a deep cut. it feels.. risky. like I’m exposing a piece of myself, showing off a scar that not everyone can see. and not a piece i’m proud of.

and I struggle with the song because.. well, here I still am. I mean it hasn’t been 5 years yet, but it could still happen. maybe god or the universe will strike me down. but probably not today. but you never know.

but so this song was written at a point in my life where I was certain I wouldn’t still be here, whether by my own hand or something else. and I was so sure of it. so so sure.

my marriage was over, i lost my wife and my house and my dog, i had lost 50-60 pounds, I was barely eating, hardly sleeping through the night, heavily indulging in cannabis and alcohol. it was a real bad scene.

the song is called Where Do You See Yourself in Five Years? and I titled it that because I couldn’t see myself surviving for that long. my depression was out of control, my life was falling apart, as was my body - because i wasn’t taking care of myself.

there are a few songs i’ve written over the last few years that i don’t overly like to dwell on - maybe somewhat unfortunately, songwriting is one of the few ways I know how to deal with my trauma. but this is one of those songs.

skeet (yes, really)

and that’s exactly why it’s blasting in my headphones todayyy