Nimodation
@elchango16.bsky.social
27yo heartbroken aspiring writer. Just using this to throw my writing to the world. Send smut recommendations!
Chicago ❄️
💚I Prevail💚Selena Gomez💚BadBunny💚
💚ChickenFried💚DixonDallas💚
I have a separate account for spicy content.
Instagram: Jaezus
Chicago ❄️
💚I Prevail💚Selena Gomez💚BadBunny💚
💚ChickenFried💚DixonDallas💚
I have a separate account for spicy content.
Instagram: Jaezus
I’ve lost 45 pounds, but I still see myself as the man who repulsed Damian—the man Jerry never cared to touch. Jerry made me feel disgusting. I’d beg for intimacy, and he’d brush me off with excuses. Later, he’d admit he was out having sex with men in the White Tank Mountains instead.
July 16, 2025 at 7:05 AM
I’ve lost 45 pounds, but I still see myself as the man who repulsed Damian—the man Jerry never cared to touch. Jerry made me feel disgusting. I’d beg for intimacy, and he’d brush me off with excuses. Later, he’d admit he was out having sex with men in the White Tank Mountains instead.
But some things only god can forgive.
You owed it to me to tell me we weren’t sexually compatible. You were my person. You could’ve said anything but you chose to make me believe I was loved. You know you didn’t love me enough to be the one to say you didn’t want me sexually. If u wanted to u would
You owed it to me to tell me we weren’t sexually compatible. You were my person. You could’ve said anything but you chose to make me believe I was loved. You know you didn’t love me enough to be the one to say you didn’t want me sexually. If u wanted to u would
July 16, 2025 at 6:59 AM
But some things only god can forgive.
You owed it to me to tell me we weren’t sexually compatible. You were my person. You could’ve said anything but you chose to make me believe I was loved. You know you didn’t love me enough to be the one to say you didn’t want me sexually. If u wanted to u would
You owed it to me to tell me we weren’t sexually compatible. You were my person. You could’ve said anything but you chose to make me believe I was loved. You know you didn’t love me enough to be the one to say you didn’t want me sexually. If u wanted to u would
I wish you farewell. -Kesha
July 16, 2025 at 6:54 AM
I wish you farewell. -Kesha
Got bad again.
Constantly having thoughts of sending Jerry 5 floral arrangements or a letter. I know I’m nothing to him now and it breaks be everyday. Today was just a lot.
Constantly having thoughts of sending Jerry 5 floral arrangements or a letter. I know I’m nothing to him now and it breaks be everyday. Today was just a lot.
July 3, 2025 at 7:55 AM
Got bad again.
Constantly having thoughts of sending Jerry 5 floral arrangements or a letter. I know I’m nothing to him now and it breaks be everyday. Today was just a lot.
Constantly having thoughts of sending Jerry 5 floral arrangements or a letter. I know I’m nothing to him now and it breaks be everyday. Today was just a lot.
This is my favorite photo of us.
June 23, 2025 at 6:13 AM
This is my favorite photo of us.
He gave me this blanket, and for a long time, I couldn’t bring myself to use it. But now, every time I do, I dream of him.
Just last night, in my silly dreams, he was giving me lube recommendations at Ulta. (I get weird dreams, I know.)
Still, the point is, it makes me feel close to him again.
Just last night, in my silly dreams, he was giving me lube recommendations at Ulta. (I get weird dreams, I know.)
Still, the point is, it makes me feel close to him again.
April 28, 2025 at 5:55 AM
He gave me this blanket, and for a long time, I couldn’t bring myself to use it. But now, every time I do, I dream of him.
Just last night, in my silly dreams, he was giving me lube recommendations at Ulta. (I get weird dreams, I know.)
Still, the point is, it makes me feel close to him again.
Just last night, in my silly dreams, he was giving me lube recommendations at Ulta. (I get weird dreams, I know.)
Still, the point is, it makes me feel close to him again.
The last bit of hope lingering inside me is pushing my depression to get bad again.
Today is the day, and I don’t know if I’ll be able to handle the rejection again. I stand strong with what the fact that I left him, but it doesn’t hurt any less. All I have left are memories that only bring pain.
Today is the day, and I don’t know if I’ll be able to handle the rejection again. I stand strong with what the fact that I left him, but it doesn’t hurt any less. All I have left are memories that only bring pain.
April 14, 2025 at 7:36 AM
The last bit of hope lingering inside me is pushing my depression to get bad again.
Today is the day, and I don’t know if I’ll be able to handle the rejection again. I stand strong with what the fact that I left him, but it doesn’t hurt any less. All I have left are memories that only bring pain.
Today is the day, and I don’t know if I’ll be able to handle the rejection again. I stand strong with what the fact that I left him, but it doesn’t hurt any less. All I have left are memories that only bring pain.
I think of him, and I cry.
I think of the abundance of opportunities I gave him to do something about the things that bothered me and yet he never cared.
Restarted my hoe phase to distract myself so I won’t get bad again. My therapist said there is nothing wrong with how we choose to heal.👨🍼
I think of the abundance of opportunities I gave him to do something about the things that bothered me and yet he never cared.
Restarted my hoe phase to distract myself so I won’t get bad again. My therapist said there is nothing wrong with how we choose to heal.👨🍼
April 7, 2025 at 3:45 AM
I think of him, and I cry.
I think of the abundance of opportunities I gave him to do something about the things that bothered me and yet he never cared.
Restarted my hoe phase to distract myself so I won’t get bad again. My therapist said there is nothing wrong with how we choose to heal.👨🍼
I think of the abundance of opportunities I gave him to do something about the things that bothered me and yet he never cared.
Restarted my hoe phase to distract myself so I won’t get bad again. My therapist said there is nothing wrong with how we choose to heal.👨🍼
This is what I mean when I say I’m tired.
March 19, 2025 at 5:12 AM
This is what I mean when I say I’m tired.
March 17, 2025 at 10:13 AM
Lately, I’ve been reclaiming my power, the power I relinquished when I chased after him after leaving him. By prioritizing myself in a relationship where I was placed last, I found my strength. “You take your power back by letting people go.”- Emma Xu
#QueerWriter #GayWriter #GayPoem #Rise #Healing
#QueerWriter #GayWriter #GayPoem #Rise #Healing
March 4, 2025 at 4:31 AM
Lately, I’ve been reclaiming my power, the power I relinquished when I chased after him after leaving him. By prioritizing myself in a relationship where I was placed last, I found my strength. “You take your power back by letting people go.”- Emma Xu
#QueerWriter #GayWriter #GayPoem #Rise #Healing
#QueerWriter #GayWriter #GayPoem #Rise #Healing
I’ve had no energy for days. My phone lights up with good morning texts from a few guys I’m dating, but I can’t bring myself to reply. My therapist says it’s because Jerry and Damian betrayed me—now, trusting people feels exhausting, and the thought of letting someone new in feels even worse. #Rise
March 1, 2025 at 6:13 AM
I’ve had no energy for days. My phone lights up with good morning texts from a few guys I’m dating, but I can’t bring myself to reply. My therapist says it’s because Jerry and Damian betrayed me—now, trusting people feels exhausting, and the thought of letting someone new in feels even worse. #Rise
It’s been a tough week. I’ve done well avoiding his accounts, but I just want someone I love to hold and to make me feel safe. Someone I can FaceTime at night and fall asleep with. Someone who makes me feel valued—like I matter.
February 26, 2025 at 9:50 PM
It’s been a tough week. I’ve done well avoiding his accounts, but I just want someone I love to hold and to make me feel safe. Someone I can FaceTime at night and fall asleep with. Someone who makes me feel valued—like I matter.
Post yourself when you were close to ending it!
Depression hides behind a smile. Take care of those around you. I planned my exit so many times that it doesn’t even feel like a plan anymore, just something that will eventually happen.
#Suicidal #Depression #RiseAbove #Invisible
Depression hides behind a smile. Take care of those around you. I planned my exit so many times that it doesn’t even feel like a plan anymore, just something that will eventually happen.
#Suicidal #Depression #RiseAbove #Invisible
February 26, 2025 at 6:09 AM
Post yourself when you were close to ending it!
Depression hides behind a smile. Take care of those around you. I planned my exit so many times that it doesn’t even feel like a plan anymore, just something that will eventually happen.
#Suicidal #Depression #RiseAbove #Invisible
Depression hides behind a smile. Take care of those around you. I planned my exit so many times that it doesn’t even feel like a plan anymore, just something that will eventually happen.
#Suicidal #Depression #RiseAbove #Invisible
I Hate.
I wish I had a dad who talked to me, hugged me, and kissed my cheek while saying, “I love you, mijo.” The first time I saw this was with my ex-boyfriend and his dad. I watched the way his father loved him, and I realized—that’s all I’ve ever craved. A man whose only desire is to protect.
I wish I had a dad who talked to me, hugged me, and kissed my cheek while saying, “I love you, mijo.” The first time I saw this was with my ex-boyfriend and his dad. I watched the way his father loved him, and I realized—that’s all I’ve ever craved. A man whose only desire is to protect.
February 26, 2025 at 3:36 AM
I Hate.
I wish I had a dad who talked to me, hugged me, and kissed my cheek while saying, “I love you, mijo.” The first time I saw this was with my ex-boyfriend and his dad. I watched the way his father loved him, and I realized—that’s all I’ve ever craved. A man whose only desire is to protect.
I wish I had a dad who talked to me, hugged me, and kissed my cheek while saying, “I love you, mijo.” The first time I saw this was with my ex-boyfriend and his dad. I watched the way his father loved him, and I realized—that’s all I’ve ever craved. A man whose only desire is to protect.
Even though I have made peace with the pain I’ve endured in my life, it still has a way of numbing me. More often than not, I find myself doing this, not to suffer, but to remind myself that pain comes in different forms, and eventually, even the sharpest of blows heal.
#Heal #Rise #SelfHarm
#Heal #Rise #SelfHarm
February 23, 2025 at 6:42 AM
He Didn’t Cheat.
Rooted from an ex who withheld from the relationship. Found peace but never forget the betrayal.
#Write #QueerWriter #AmateurWriter #PenToPaper #LetFolksGo #Peace #LetGo #Writer
Rooted from an ex who withheld from the relationship. Found peace but never forget the betrayal.
#Write #QueerWriter #AmateurWriter #PenToPaper #LetFolksGo #Peace #LetGo #Writer
February 21, 2025 at 4:51 AM
He Didn’t Cheat.
Rooted from an ex who withheld from the relationship. Found peace but never forget the betrayal.
#Write #QueerWriter #AmateurWriter #PenToPaper #LetFolksGo #Peace #LetGo #Writer
Rooted from an ex who withheld from the relationship. Found peace but never forget the betrayal.
#Write #QueerWriter #AmateurWriter #PenToPaper #LetFolksGo #Peace #LetGo #Writer
Someone recently introduced me to Chronic Loneliness and so far all the boxes are checked. Growing up I was always pushed aside in family and cliques. Maybe the fact that I had a stroke at 19yo proves the health complications to be true. Rising above this and healing.
#ChronicLoneliness #Heal #Rise
#ChronicLoneliness #Heal #Rise
February 20, 2025 at 5:46 AM
Someone recently introduced me to Chronic Loneliness and so far all the boxes are checked. Growing up I was always pushed aside in family and cliques. Maybe the fact that I had a stroke at 19yo proves the health complications to be true. Rising above this and healing.
#ChronicLoneliness #Heal #Rise
#ChronicLoneliness #Heal #Rise
A Mother’s Love.
Rooted from the pain of knowing your mother has her favorite golden child and one will never measure up.
#Writer #QueerWriter #GayWriter #JustWrite #PenToPaper #Pain #MentalHealth #Healing #AMothersLove
Rooted from the pain of knowing your mother has her favorite golden child and one will never measure up.
#Writer #QueerWriter #GayWriter #JustWrite #PenToPaper #Pain #MentalHealth #Healing #AMothersLove
February 20, 2025 at 4:55 AM
A Mother’s Love.
Rooted from the pain of knowing your mother has her favorite golden child and one will never measure up.
#Writer #QueerWriter #GayWriter #JustWrite #PenToPaper #Pain #MentalHealth #Healing #AMothersLove
Rooted from the pain of knowing your mother has her favorite golden child and one will never measure up.
#Writer #QueerWriter #GayWriter #JustWrite #PenToPaper #Pain #MentalHealth #Healing #AMothersLove