Halloumi :0
@eelspiel.bsky.social
He/him/his 🏳️⚧️ | professional funny man | I’ll mostly post random ass memes and occasionally lock tf in and rant about sociopolitical ideologies. | I hate all of you and myself
Little reminder for yall
September 11, 2025 at 10:24 AM
Little reminder for yall
Love how the internets first reaction to DJT not blatantly disregarding the constitution for a week is “holy shit he’s dead”
Oh I’m alive btw
Oh I’m alive btw
September 2, 2025 at 8:54 PM
Love how the internets first reaction to DJT not blatantly disregarding the constitution for a week is “holy shit he’s dead”
Oh I’m alive btw
Oh I’m alive btw
Reposted by Halloumi :0
Got the wrong fucking train
April 21, 2025 at 9:19 AM
Got the wrong fucking train
We’re closer to 2050 than the year 2000. The passage of time is FUCKED
March 29, 2025 at 7:04 AM
We’re closer to 2050 than the year 2000. The passage of time is FUCKED
Just had a dream that I was playing miitopia and the enemy cast “white superiority.” In response my mii got angry and shouted “WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK?” My companion mii (bob ross) responded by casting “happy little knife”
January 29, 2025 at 7:56 AM
Just had a dream that I was playing miitopia and the enemy cast “white superiority.” In response my mii got angry and shouted “WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK?” My companion mii (bob ross) responded by casting “happy little knife”
Reposted by Halloumi :0
i pretend coffee helps but i still wanna set everything on fire.
January 2, 2025 at 1:13 PM
i pretend coffee helps but i still wanna set everything on fire.
Sometimes I think about how Harry Potter has an insta-bondage spell and we just let JK Rowling get away with that
January 2, 2025 at 5:48 PM
Sometimes I think about how Harry Potter has an insta-bondage spell and we just let JK Rowling get away with that
I’ve got a tummy ache rn and honest to god I’d rather chop off a finger than put up with ts
December 30, 2024 at 11:48 PM
I’ve got a tummy ache rn and honest to god I’d rather chop off a finger than put up with ts
If I was immortal I’d blow my skull open with a 12 gauge shotgun in front of people I don’t like. To be fair I’d probably do that anyway
December 29, 2024 at 8:56 AM
If I was immortal I’d blow my skull open with a 12 gauge shotgun in front of people I don’t like. To be fair I’d probably do that anyway
She tell me she has a corruption fetish so I take her to any US governmental building
(this one was lazy I’ll figure out a better way to make a leftist commentary on society through sex joke tomorrow. I’m sorry for the poor material)
(this one was lazy I’ll figure out a better way to make a leftist commentary on society through sex joke tomorrow. I’m sorry for the poor material)
December 27, 2024 at 6:37 AM
She tell me she has a corruption fetish so I take her to any US governmental building
(this one was lazy I’ll figure out a better way to make a leftist commentary on society through sex joke tomorrow. I’m sorry for the poor material)
(this one was lazy I’ll figure out a better way to make a leftist commentary on society through sex joke tomorrow. I’m sorry for the poor material)
Allergies are so insane cause why my body just decide “oh shit this things bad. We’re going to LITERALLY KILL YOU NOW” like dude?? The peanuts aren’t the dangerous thing here, you’re just having a crash out over nothing and IM the one suffering!! Why? Why nuts??? What did they do wrong???
December 25, 2024 at 5:07 PM
Allergies are so insane cause why my body just decide “oh shit this things bad. We’re going to LITERALLY KILL YOU NOW” like dude?? The peanuts aren’t the dangerous thing here, you’re just having a crash out over nothing and IM the one suffering!! Why? Why nuts??? What did they do wrong???
There are only 3 genders. You got: lil puppy dog, lil kitty cat, and lil funny bunny rabbit. Tag yourself in the bunny
December 20, 2024 at 4:25 PM
There are only 3 genders. You got: lil puppy dog, lil kitty cat, and lil funny bunny rabbit. Tag yourself in the bunny
I’M GOING TO SHIT YOUR PANTS
December 19, 2024 at 5:25 PM
I’M GOING TO SHIT YOUR PANTS
You have two wolves inside of you.. that’s probably why your tummy hurts all the time.
December 18, 2024 at 12:50 AM
You have two wolves inside of you.. that’s probably why your tummy hurts all the time.
Y’all ever have an intrusive thought then worry that a telepath is in the area and SEVERELY judging you.
“What if I reached for that officers gun and shot this place up… OHSHITOHFUCKOHSHIT”
“What if I reached for that officers gun and shot this place up… OHSHITOHFUCKOHSHIT”
December 12, 2024 at 10:19 PM
Y’all ever have an intrusive thought then worry that a telepath is in the area and SEVERELY judging you.
“What if I reached for that officers gun and shot this place up… OHSHITOHFUCKOHSHIT”
“What if I reached for that officers gun and shot this place up… OHSHITOHFUCKOHSHIT”
The more I think about it the more I realize that the fae would THRIVE on the internet. Dealing with a troll? Nope, that’s a fae creature and it’s successfully siphoned your energy.
December 10, 2024 at 2:36 PM
The more I think about it the more I realize that the fae would THRIVE on the internet. Dealing with a troll? Nope, that’s a fae creature and it’s successfully siphoned your energy.
Petition to change the label “asexuality” to “sexualn’t”
December 4, 2024 at 12:29 PM
Petition to change the label “asexuality” to “sexualn’t”
SittingfullyclothedinanemptybathtubquestioningifimworththeairibreatheandcontemplatingtheabsolutelyterrifyingfuturerealizingthatevenifiWANTEDtoliveidontthinkidbeabletogetpastlike30-core I’m not suicidal. But that’s only for the people who care about me. If they were gone I’d be too
Mondays amirite?
Mondays amirite?
December 3, 2024 at 4:02 AM
SittingfullyclothedinanemptybathtubquestioningifimworththeairibreatheandcontemplatingtheabsolutelyterrifyingfuturerealizingthatevenifiWANTEDtoliveidontthinkidbeabletogetpastlike30-core I’m not suicidal. But that’s only for the people who care about me. If they were gone I’d be too
Mondays amirite?
Mondays amirite?
I love recreational gaslighting. Like I wouldn’t use it for any malicious purpose BUT I managed to convince my biology teacher that mice use echolocation and that’s pretty fucking funny
December 2, 2024 at 7:38 PM
I love recreational gaslighting. Like I wouldn’t use it for any malicious purpose BUT I managed to convince my biology teacher that mice use echolocation and that’s pretty fucking funny
The levels of dumbassery that the first thing I thought of when I saw this image was that mitosis looks like boobies. Face the corner honestly I need to think about my actions
November 28, 2024 at 3:50 AM
The levels of dumbassery that the first thing I thought of when I saw this image was that mitosis looks like boobies. Face the corner honestly I need to think about my actions
You ask the time, I pull out a granite 25 square ft 4.4 metric ton sundial, I inspect it carefully and inform you that it’s nighttime so idk
November 28, 2024 at 3:47 AM
You ask the time, I pull out a granite 25 square ft 4.4 metric ton sundial, I inspect it carefully and inform you that it’s nighttime so idk
You’re up late jerking off, I’m up late pondering my orb, we are not the same.
November 27, 2024 at 2:34 PM
You’re up late jerking off, I’m up late pondering my orb, we are not the same.
Elections should be done like the masked singer.
after a background check literally anyone can run and tell their beliefs, policies etc while still masked.
No party system, tournament style. At the end whoever gets the most votes gets unveiled and BAM new president
My votes for robot this year.
after a background check literally anyone can run and tell their beliefs, policies etc while still masked.
No party system, tournament style. At the end whoever gets the most votes gets unveiled and BAM new president
My votes for robot this year.
November 22, 2024 at 5:44 PM
Elections should be done like the masked singer.
after a background check literally anyone can run and tell their beliefs, policies etc while still masked.
No party system, tournament style. At the end whoever gets the most votes gets unveiled and BAM new president
My votes for robot this year.
after a background check literally anyone can run and tell their beliefs, policies etc while still masked.
No party system, tournament style. At the end whoever gets the most votes gets unveiled and BAM new president
My votes for robot this year.
Reposted by Halloumi :0
Contrary to popular belief, there are only four kinds of bats.
November 21, 2024 at 2:23 PM
Contrary to popular belief, there are only four kinds of bats.
I absolutely refuse to let people do nice things for me “oh I can pay for lunch dw about it :)” I’m killing myself right then and there!! Wrap it up gang because god FORBID I owe anyone anything ever
November 21, 2024 at 8:45 PM
I absolutely refuse to let people do nice things for me “oh I can pay for lunch dw about it :)” I’m killing myself right then and there!! Wrap it up gang because god FORBID I owe anyone anything ever